Don't you remember us?
by hectatess
Summary: Based on a theory I read on the internet. What if Cas and Dean fell in love when Dean was being rebuild, but Dean forgot about it and that is why Cas is always staring into Dean's eyes, willing him to remember. So, duh.. Destiel.
1. Chapter 1

Castiël stood with his back straight and his wings to attention. His commander paced before him. "Castiël, I need for you and part of your garrison to go to Hell." Castiël resisted the temptation to tilt his head quizzically. He was on duty and receiving orders, so to give in would be disrespectfull. "Permission to speak, sir." A curt nod. "Permission granted." "Why not the whole garrison, sir? That would give us more chance of succeeding." Another nod, this one appreciative. "True, Castiël, but we need this to be as covertly as possibly can. You need to go down there and retrieve my true vessel. He is held there and should be brought back to the land of the living as soon as possible. I can give you the approximate location of his soul, but be adviced, it might be difficult to get to it." Castiël saluted. "We will not fail, sir!" Another appreciative nod. Castiël felt daring. "Sir, off the record?" A warm smile. "Yes, Brother?" "Why now, all of a sudden, Michael? He has been born almost three decades ago. Why is it so important to act now?" Michael sat down. "Castiël, this is stricktly need to know. I have it on good authority that Lucifer is planning his Rising. His vessel has been around neigh on twentysix years. At this very moment, a demon is doing it's utmost to corrupt that soul into saying yes, as soon as our brother has risen." Castiël felt a chill. "You can count on me, Brother. I will not fail!" Another, rare, smile. "Thank you, Castiël. I know you won't."

' _Oh my Father... There are more coming!_ ' Castiël thought desperately. He had been seperated from the rest of his garrison. Last thing he saw of them, Anna was fighting off five demons and Hannah three more. The others he couldn't see, because the demons were obscuring his vision. Then all of a sudden, he saw a soul, so bright, it seemed to becon him. He'd flown down that pathway, yelling: "Follow me! I have found it!", but apparently the others couldn't follow. He never even noticed it. The glow of that soul tugged at his being, pleading at it to come over. When he turned the corner, he couldn't quite understand what he saw. The bright soul stood next to the rack, and another, more dimmed, was lying across it. There was only one demon in the room at that moment, and it was leaning casually against the wall, as if he was enjoying the scene. Castiël simply swooped in, grabbed the bright soul around the chest with his right arm, wielding his Angelblade with his left, and swooped out again. The demon didn't even have time to stand straight.

The soul under his arm struggled fitfully. "What the hell is going on here?" it asked. "What kind of new torture has Alastair deviced now?" Castiël liked the gruff voice of the soul. It made him think of warm fires and smoke in the autumn air. Which was strange, since he hadn't been on Earth in ages to enjoy these things. "Don't worry. I am no demon. Quite the contrary. I am Castiël. I am an angel of the Lord." The soul made a derissive sound. "Don't be stupid. There's no such thing." Castiël found that disturbing. "I am not being stupid. But, I do not have time to convince you otherwise. I need to start repairing you." The soul stopped struggling. "Sorry? You what?" "Your time down here has damaged you. Besides, your mortal flesh needs to be restructed too. It has been buried all this time." The soul jerked it's head up. "What? It hasn't been salted and burned? Oh, Sammy... Wait... What did he do? Did he trade his own soul for mine?" Castiël sensed some deep sorrow growing in the soul. "I do not know who this Sammy is, but I assure you, no soul has been bartered. Now hold still please. We're almost at the grave site." The soul threw him a look that stated it didn't believe him. Castiël held still in a dark room. It wasn't very spacious, but they could stand. He lowered the soul onto his feet. "There, now please hold still. This might take me a while." The soul looked like it was ready to make a run for it. Castiël placed his right hand on the soul's left upper arm. "It won't hurt, I promise." The soul stared at him. Castiël saw that the shape of the eyes was pretty. He let his gaze wander over the ghostly face of the soul, while he sent his Grace into it's being to start the healing and rebuilding. As a celestial being, Castiel was used to beauty, but the face of this soul showed him a new facet of that word. For starters it was almost symmetrical, then it was masculine, yet soft lashes lined the large eyes and the square jaw was softened by the full lips. On the whole Castiël felt it was aestatically very pleasing to see. The soul obviously felt somewhat uncomfortable. It coughed, even though it needn't. "So... You said your name is Castiël?" "Yes, I did." The ghostly cheeks seemed to darken ever so slightly. "I'm Dean. Dean Winchester." Castiël smiled. These humans and their customs. "Pleased to meet you, Dean. Why are you troubled by my presence?" The cheeks darkened even more, and the energy the soul emitted felt defensive. "Who said I was?" Castiël tilted his head. "There is no-one here but us, Dean." "Shit, Cas. Don't take that litterally. What are you doing anyway? I am feeling more like myself than before."

Castiël increased the flow of his Grace. "Like I said, I'm reconstructing you. Soul now and, later on, body too. I am using my Grace to heal and rebuild you." Dean looked down at his left arm, where Castiël had his hand. "It feels nice. Almost like a good buzz." He redirected his gaze to Castiël's eyes. "I like your eyes. They make me think of the deep blue ocean." Castiël blinked. "Thank you. I am glad you can see them." Dean raised his ghostly eyebrows. "Why wouldn't I?" Cas saw the features and details of Dean's face become sharper, meaning his soul was almost repaired. There were no things that scarred the features and Castiël saw that not only the shape of Dean, the memory reflection of his flesh, was beautiful, but also his soul itself. It was pure and full of love. Even though it seemed to be marred with some issues, it would never enjoy bringing harm on others. "This form, my true form, can burn ones eyes out." Colour was slowly creeping into the soul of Dean. The hair turned a soft, sandy colour, and the eyes... ' _Sweet Father in Heaven!_ ' Castiël felt a twitch in his abdomen. ' _Those eyes are the most beautiful mirrors of the soul I have ever seen!_ ' He couldn't stop staring in them, and only when Dean looked away, a pink hue on his cheeks, did Castiël realise that he had said that aloud. "I am sorry. Did that make you uncomfortable?" Dean cleared his throat. "Hmhm. Well, yeah, a little. But..." He looked up again. "I think I can say the same for you. Your eyes are extraordinarily beautiful." His cheeks flushed even more. Castiël felt happy. This unique and precious soul thought his eyes were pretty. They stood there, noses almost touching, and just stared at each other, while Castiël's Grace did it's job. "Cas?" Castiël liked the abbreviation of his name. It made him feel as if Dean had given him a new name. A special name which redefined him as the Castiël after meeting Dean Winchester. "Hm? Is something wrong, Dean?"


	2. Chapter 2

Dean still couldn't believe it. An angel, a real, honest to God angel, and it deemed him worthy of rebuilding. It thought he was worth rescuing from Hell. Not only that, this angel, with a voice even deeper than his own, and the most beautiful, cerulean eyes he had ever seen, it thought hìs eyes were beautiful... He couldn't see any other distinct features in the face of he angel, just those alluring eyes. Dean felt lightheaded. That Grace stuff, it must be some kind of drug. Otherwise he'd never, ever think these things about a dude. Let alone tell it to him. And yet... Those eyes... In the pit of his stomach, he felt something glow. As they stood, nose to nose, Dean couldn't stop staring into those cerulean depths. He saw love in there and a caring heart, and he felt that Castiël was beautiful. How could a being so special, ever like him? He had killed, so many times he couldn't keep track of it. He had disappointed his father, and Sammy, and his Dad had gone to Hell because of him. He had been so selfish, to sell his soul, just so Sammy could live and have an applepie life. Dean couldn't bear living without Sam. He was just a worm, and not worthy of the admiration he saw in the celestial being's eyes. "Cas?" Dean felt he had to tell the angel everything that was wrong with him. It deserved to know, before it let him loose on the Earth again. "Hm? Is something wrong, Dean?" The sound of his name, in that wonderful voice, struck a chord in Dean. He placed his right hand on Castiël's left upper arm, in a mirror image of the angel's hold on him. He forgot what he wanted to say, and just closed the gap between them, crashing their lips together. A shock cascaded through both of them. ' _Oh god... This is devine..._ ' Dean's shocked thoughts went. After that, all other thought ceased.

Castiël waited for Dean to answer, but he only placed his hand on Castiël's left arm. ' _Maybe he thinks it's an angel custom..._ ' Castiël thought. ' _Why is he leaning in like that? We'll butt heads if he doesn't..._ ' Then their lips touched and Castiël felt a wave of energy mingle with his Grace. It shot through his right hand, into Dean's soul and out Dean's right hand back into Castiël. It circled like that while their lips were locked together. The kiss didn't change, it was just two mouths, pressed against each other, nothing else. In the vaults of Castiël's being, he heard Dean's thoughts. ' _Oh god... This is devine..._ ' Castiël had to agree. ' _It's like we're one being..._ ' he thought, but then he couldn't think anymore. He just felt. He felt the love Dean had for his younger brother, Sammy, he felt the responsibility Dean felt towards the innocent people that didn't know about the nighmares that lived in the dark, the complex feelings that revolved around his father, and the sadness and love with which Dean remembered his mother. And for each and every emotion, Castiël felt his love for this soul grow.

Dean felt as if he was standing in the eye of a hurricane. Something swirled around him, through him, but he and Cas were standing still. In the back of his head an odd thought popped up. ' _It's like we're one being..._ ' That thought sounded nothing like his other thoughts. It was like it was coming from the angel. Dean felt something change. It was like he suddenly had loads of brothers and sisters, yet he didn't love them like he loved Sam. A few got more affection, like one Gabriel. He felt like a caring older sibling, yet the love he knew for Sam was like a bright sun to candles. Dean felt the loyalty Castiël had for his family, and his Father, the joy Castiël could find in simple things such as following a bee or watching people in the park. He saw the bravery hiding beneath Castiël's shyness, and Dean felt he would love this being, even though it wasn't human. Then, Dean felt something else... Something amazing. Like a tiny flower, something was growing inside Castiël. It was love, a true and pure love. Dean reached for it, and when he touched it, it opened up and cascaded through him. Amazed by the feeling Dean broke the connection with Castiël's lips. "You love me too?" They said it in unison.

The stance of the soul and the angel didn't change, they held on to each other, right hands on left arms. The whirlwind of feelings and thoughts had ceased, but they felt close to each other, and at ease. "Cas?" Cas smiled. "I like that name. Makes me feel special. What is your question?" Dean blushed happily at the compliment. He has to think what his question was. "Who is Gabriel?" Cas' smile faltered. "The Archangel. He is my big brother. He taught me just about everything I know. He was funny, caring and one day, just gone... I never saw him since." Dean felt his heart bleed. He lent his forehead against Cas' and whispered: "I'm sorry, sweetheart. I can't imagine living without Sammy. That must have been awfull!" Cas' smile returned a bit. "My turn, Dean. Who is Sammy?" Dean's whole face lit up in a happy emotion. "He is my little brother. Our mom died when he was only six months old. Dad was always on the road, and I basically took care of him. Then he went to college, and we lost contact for a while. Then our Dad went missing, so I went to him for help. He went with me, and we haven't been apart since, until I got dragged downunder bij a hellhound." Cas felt Dean wasn't quite forthcoming, but he wasn't angry. Every human had secrets, he knew that. "I am going to let you go, Dean. I'll start repairs on your body now. Your soul is healed." Dean pouted a bit. He didn't want this to end. "Come back soon, ok? Now I've found you, I don't want to lose you." Cas planted a soft kiss on his forehead. "I feel the same. Once your body is restored too, I will reunite you with it and then help you out of the grave. It's not far, but we are currently in another dimension. Otherwise we couldn't stand here. I'll be right back." With a quick wingbeat, he was gone. On the arm of Dean's soul, his handprint glowed blue.


	3. Chapter 3

Cas sat on the ground in the forrest. He patted the floor searchingly. When he found what he was looking for, he just sunk under the soil. Not wanting to see what the sands of time had done to the body of his love, he closed his eyes and imagined Dean there, whole and alive, his beautiful green eyes looking at him they way they had when they parted. Cas put his hand on the same spot he had with Dean's soul, and started the repairs on the body. Four months of decay was a lot to repair, but with the image of Dean's soul in mind, it went faster than Castiël had anticipated. When he had finished, Cas opened his eyes to see if he had gotten it right. The body of Dean Winchester looked like he was sleeping peacefully. Cas planted a soft kiss on the cold lips and whispered: "I'll be back soon, love." It didn't feel good. The lips were too cold and unyielding. "And when I do, we can kiss more. I have found I like kissing you." He beat his wings and was off to retrieve the soul he loved so deeply.

Dean was impatiently pacing the dark room where Cas had left him. Now the angel was gone, it felt constricting and dank. Just the glow of the angel's handprint gave some light. Dean caressed the glowing spot and daydreamed about kissing Cas again. How on Earth did this happen? How could he fall so comepletely and utterly in love in such a short time? He didn't even know what Cas really looked like. Just that he had those beautiful eyes, and the softest lips Dean had ever kissed. That he was caring, and loyal, and that the very thought of him leaving tore a gaping hole in Dean's soul. Suddenly a blue glow showed up, coming close fast. As it neared, Dean could see the outline of wings in it. His heart leapt up. Cas was coming! The angel landed next to him and pulled him near. From the corner of his eyes, Dean saw black wings envelop him. Cas claimed his mouth and Dean lost all thought. "I really like how you greet me." he said hoarsely, once their mouths had parted again. Cas hugged him. "Come, love. Let's get your parts together. I wonder how you kiss when in your body." Dean felt a surge of longing. He wanted to know too, and more, like what the texture of Cas's skin was, if he had soft hair and wether he was lanky or muscular. Dean grabbed Cas by his head and kissed him with fire, his longing making him kiss rougher and more passionate than before. When he stopped, they were both hot and bothered. "Let's go." Dean growled. Cas grabbed him around the chest again, slipped out his Angelblade for insurance, and took off.

Cas lowered Dean's soul slowly down to the spot under the trees where he knew Dean's body lay.

"I will have to compress your soul, Dean. Otherwise it is not easy to fit it in your body. It doesn't make sense, I know." Dean reached for his angel. "One more... To keep until I'm together again." Cas smiled. "Gladly." They slowly and gently kissed, as if they might never kiss again. After they kissed, Cas started the compression and when he held a basketbal sized glowing orb, he pushed it down into the waiting body. A wave of energy flattened every tree in a circle of tree feet and threw Cas miles away. ' _Great Father! What was that?_ ' He struggled to get up. "Well done, Castiël. Come. He will need to sleep now. When he wakes, he will find his way to his brother soon." Cas whipped around."Michael?" His brother grabbed him by the hand and flew them back to heaven. ' _NOOO! I promised Dean I'd be there!_ ' Castiël struggled between following protocol and reporting, and going to his love, as he promised. ' _Michael said he would sleep first. If I'm quick about my report, I'll be back in time._ '


	4. Chapter 4

Castiël circled the spot where Dean's body's had been buried, but no matter now often he looked, Dean was gone. He couldn't make sense of it, Dean wouldn't leave like that. From his intimate contact during the repair session, he knew Dean wouldn't leave someone he loved. Not without leaving some kind of message or hint. Maybe he was confused or had forgotten their agreement. That would explain his absence. Drawing from the information he had received from Dean's soul, he gathered that, to survive, Dean would make a beeline to the nearest road. Cas flew as fast as he could. He needed to find his love and help him. He crossed a dirt road and backpedalled. That would be enough for Dean. Cas turned and followed the road. The sun beat down on him and his black wings got uncomfortably hot. ' _Poor Dean. His body was clad in a black t-shirt. He must be boiled by now_!' His reminiscing almost made him miss the tiny figure that was entering a shabby looking gasstation. He turned mid-air and landed a way down the road. He ran towards the gasstation. Behind the window he could see Dean thirstily chugging down a bottle of water. "Dean! Oh I'm so glad I found you! I'm sorry I wasn't there..." His voice trailed off when he saw Dean duck down, hiding from the sudden shower of glass shards. Cas looked at him in amazement. Why would he cover his ears like that? They had talked before... Confused, he decided to keep quiet and watch his love for a while, to see what he would do. Maybe he was looking for him. Dean gingerly got up, and dusted himself off. He seemed on edge and ready for battle. Castiël was concerned. Dean did not seem to be looking for him, he seemed to have a goal, and it wasn't looking for his angel. Cas hadn't considered this and he wasn't ready for how much it hurt. He watched Dean check into a motel, and check himself in the mirror. He rolled up his sleeve and Cas gasped, as Dean winced. On the exact spot where Cas had laid his hand to heal both body and soul, there was a burn mark in the shape of his hand. 'My Grace must have made that. Unbelievable. Dean has to remember that.' His train of thought detailed a bit, as Dean hoisted up his shirt to inspect his torso. ' _Oh my Father... He i_ _s_ _a fine specimen, isn't he?_ ' Cas thought, his eyes taking in the muscular belly and the fine pecs. Cas felt lost. He needed his love to help him understand this all. "Dean, please... Don't you remember me? Don't you know how you got that mark?" The mirror shattered and Dean clasped his hands over his ears in agony. Suddenly, Cas understood. ' _Of course! When we talked, I was talking to his soul. His human ears and eyes can't stand my true form... It's obvious._ ' Still, the realisation hurt like a stake to the heart. All fragile objects in the room shattered to bits when Cas let out a wail of dispair. ' _I must find a vessel. Otherwise I can never speak to him again._ ' That thought tore a gap in his heart, and Cas flew off, in search of a vessel.

When he first saw Jimmy Novak, Castiël was amazed... That human bore a remarkable resemblance to his idea of who Castiël was. True, the eyes lacked a certain glow, but the colour was the same and the dark hair, though shorter, was very much like his own. ' _Unbelievable, I have found my true vessel... We were all so preoccupied with the vessels of Michael and Lucifer, that I never thought to keep tabs on my own true vessel._ ' "Jimmy, can you hear me? I am Castiël, an angel of the Lord. And I..." He faltered... Jimmy was a devout man, but he tired of his mediocre life. He loved his wife and daughter, but the rest was grating on his nerves. The same old job, the same old neighbours, the same old thing every day. Yet Cas couldn't promise anything but his gratitude, and the fact that his life would become more interesting. He hoped that would be enough to convince Jimmy to abandon his family. "I need you, to help me protect someone special to the Lord." He wasn't actually lying, Dean was special and a big part of the bigger scheme in life. It was hid own part in that, which Castiël was overexaggerating.

Castiël felt a tug at his being. Someone was summoning him. Castiël didn't want to answer. Jimmy was almost ready to accept Castiël, and Cas was not sure he should go. Another tug, they were persistent. Reluctantly he left Jimmy alone, and flew towards the summoning. His heart pounded loudly when he saw who was in the circle summoning him. Dean... The woman doing the summoning was calling for him to show himself. "No. I will answer your questions, but I won't show myself." She insisted. "No. I will tell you my name. I'm Castiël, but if I show myself, it will not go well." The woman used her powers to force him and as he had feared, her eyes couldn't handle is true form. Feeling sad for her and for leaving Dean once again, he flew back to Illinois, to convince Jimmy to accept being his vessel. This was getting more urgent now. If Dean got more creative next time, it might be his eyes that got burned. The very thought made Castiël shiver. It was night when he got to Illinois, and Jimmy was standing outside, wearing a tan trenchcoat.

' _He finally said yes. Now to get going!_ ' Behind him, a small voice asked: "Daddy?" ' _Darn it! I hoped to leave unnoticed. Oh well, it's just the child._ ' He turned around stiffly, since he wasn't used to his vessel yet. "I am not your father." he told the little girl with his gravelly voice, so unlike Jimmy's. After that, he turned back and just walked off. Flying off would have unnecessarilly upset the child, so he waited until he got out of sight. He felt another pull. ' _Great Father above! They are impatient, aren't they?_ ' He landed just outside the barn where the summoning had come from, grinning like a pumpkin. He felt great. He would see Dean again, soon, and they could talk and kiss and who knows... He felt his excitement course through the veins of his vessel, mingling with his Grace, and the wind picked it up and ratled the old tin roof of the barn. ' _Calm down, Castiël. Going in there grinning like this, they might shoot you on sight._ ' He deadpanned and took a deep breath. Curious to see who summoned him this time, Castiël walked to the double doors and let his Grace push them open, breaking the heavy woorden beam bolting it like a matchstick. His excited Grace danced around him and let the lightbulbs in the barn explode, one by one, showering Cas in their sparks. In the flickering light, he saw Dean and an older man with a cap standing with guns at the ready. Before he could find his voice and tell them he meant no harm, they shot him, repeatedly, in the chest. The rocksalt rounds didn't harm him in the least, and he merely looked at the men whilst he walked purposely onward. The bewildered looks on the two men amused yet confused Cas. Surley Dean would know it was him, by now. Dean and the old man exchanged looks and they split up. Dean grabbed a serrated knife with Arab markings on it's blade and quickly hid it behind his back. Cas kept walking towards Dean, the older man all but forgotten. The corners of his mouth turned up in an expectant half smile, his gaze locked on the green eyes that had haunted his mind since he left the gravesite, waiting for recognition to seep in them. Dean took in his appearance and then said: "Who are you?" Cas never shifted his gaze, but he did tilt his head just slightly. "I'm the one who gripped you tight, and raised you from perdition." he answered, waiting for Dean to say his name and kiss him, or at least hug him. "Yeah.. Thanks for that." Dean said, and Cas' smile got a bit wider and he inclined his head, waiting for Dean to go on. Suddenly Dean plunged the blade he'd held behind his back into Cas' chest, up to the hilt. When Cas didn't drop or even wince, Dean looked up incredulously. Cas merely kept his gaze on Dean for a bit, then looked down at the blade for a second, before returning his eyes to Dean. Without looking away form the hunters eyes, Cas pulled out the bloody blade, and dropped it. Dean glanced behind Cas' back at the older man, who swung an iron crowbar at Cas. Still looking at Dean, waiting for him to recognise him, Cas grabbed the crowbar at an arm's length. While Dean watched, torn between awe and fear, Cas finally turned away from him to keep the man with the crowbar from hitting him. ' _This is very inconvenient. I could really use some time alone with Dean._ ' Cas put two fingers against the old man's forehead and simply put him to sleep. The old man sunk down gracefully and landed on his back, Cas watching him go without emotion. Dean watched incredulously, and on his guard. Cas turned to him and in his gravelly voice said: "We need to talk, Dean." and after glancing towards Dean's friend on the floor, he added: " Alone." Dean just looked at him as if he could pounce and tear his throat out, breathing heavily. His gaze wandered to the old man again. ' _Oh. Right. I bet that is his friend. He needs to check if he is ok, before anything else. That is how Dean works._ ' He saw an old book, lying on the table, and walked towards it, allowing Dean to drop down next to his friend and check his breathing. Cas leafed through the book, finding it mildly interesting. He felt Dean's gaze on him, and without pausing his leafing, he assured his greeneyed love: "Your friend is alive."


	5. Chapter 5

Dean sat on one knee next to Bobby's lifeless form. The steady rise and fall of his chest assured Dean that he was at least breathing, but what had this monster done to him? He glared at the human form. Not a demon, because the Kurd knife hadn't even made it blink. What then? The man leafed through Bobby's lore book. Without looking up, it said in that gravelly voice: "Your friend is alive." Dean felt anger boil up inside him. That thing had so casually and without emotion switched off Bobby, and now it was trying to make polite conversation? "Who are you?" Dean growled. Still going through the book, it answered: "Castiël." Dean repressed the need to roll his eyes and kept his furious glare on the guy. "Yeah, I figured that much. I mean what are you.." Finally the man looked up from the book, his face slightly confused, as if Dean should have known the answer. "I'm an angel of the Lord." it replied. ' _What? Does he think I believe that?_ ' Dean let his eyes flick over the man. Boring, navy blue suit, white dress shirt, blue tie and tan trench coat. He looked like a pencilpusher, not even remotely like what Dean would think an angel looked like, if they even existed. Without breaking his gaze, Dean got to his feet. "Get the hell out of here. There's no such thing." The man turned to face Dean and Dean unknowingly sized him up, like a fighter in the ring, taking on an instinctive stance, ready to fight. The man looked at him with his blue eyes and said: "This is your problem, Dean, you have no faith." Suddenly a thunderclap sounded and lightning flashed. In the bright light Dean saw the shape of two huge black wings unfold behind the man's back. Then it was gone and he saw just the man. Another flash of lightning and again the wings showed, unfurling even further, until full width. ' _Holy HELL._ ' was all Dean could think of. The thunder ceased, and Dean looked at Castiël, not knowing what to do or think. The angel looked as if he expected Dean to do or say something. Dean nodded silently. ' _Best accept this, Winchester... Looks like Sammy was right on this one._ ' Taking his refuge in sarcasm, Dean said: "Well, some angel you are, you burned out that poor woman's eyes." Castiël hung his head. ' _Well, at least he looks like he's sorry about that.'_

Cas felt regret when Dean scolded him about the psychic's eyes. This had not panned out like he'd thought it would. He felt like a fledgeling, being scolded like that, and the fact that the one scolding him was the very soul he would die for, made it so much worse. Dean still didn't remember Cas, didn't remember what they had built in Limbo, and Cas was worried about that. It hurt him, which was a first for him, and it made Cas feel desperate to have Dean remember. He wanted to hold him and kiss his forehead, tell him it was all ok. Even after telling Dean he was the one to get him out of Hell, even after he used the exact same words to him, that he had used when he first met Dean, not a glimmer of recognition flared in those jade green eyes. ' _It will come. He will remember. Maybe if I look him straight in the eyes, he'll remember me. He said he thought my eyes were beautiful._ ' Cas decided to try again. "I warned her not to spy on my true form. It can be... Overwhelming to humans. So can my real voice, but you already knew that." Dean slightly narrowed his amazingly green eyes. "You mean the gasstation and the motel... That was you talking?" Cas kept his wide eyes on Dean, still hoping that he would remember something, and nodded slowly. "Buddy, next time, lower the volume..." Cas lowered his eyes, not wanting to show the pain that caused. ' _He still remembers nothing. I already told him this..._ ' Cas felt he could cry, but he also knew Dean had to know more about him, his brethren, and his own Fate. "It was my mistake. Certain people, special people, can perceive my true visage. I thought you would be.. One of them. I was wrong." Even admitting this hurt. Especially since Dean narrowed his eyes in suspicion. "And what visage are you in now, huh?" The disdain in his voice made Castiël's heart squeeze painfully. "What, Holy taxaccountant?" Cas glanced down at Jimmy's body, the bloodstain on his lapel, the trenchcoat. "This.. This is... A vessel." Dean looked appalled. "You're posessing some poor bastard?!" Cas was slightly taken aback by the emotion in Dean's voice. ' _Of course. He only knows demon posession, which is involuntairy._ ' "He's a.. Devout man. He actually prayed for this." Cas explained. "Look pal, I'm not buying what you're selling, so who are you really?" Cas narrowed his eyes a bit and tilted his head in confusion. ' _I showed him my wings, he has heard my true voice. Why does he still not believe me?_ ' He frowned a bit. "I told you." Dean nodded, unconvinced. "Right. And why would an angel..." He ladled the word with sarcasm. "... rescue me from Hell?" Not believing his ears, Cas stepped closer to Dean, looking him straight in the eyes. "Good things do happen, Dean." Dean squared his shoulders, almost infentissimally. "Not in my experience." he said with clenched teeth. Worried, Cas looked deeper into Dean's beautiful eyes. "What's the matter?" he asked, but then he could feel it, rising up from Dean's very soul. An almost crushing feeling of worthlessness. Cas' eyes widened, when he understood, and his whole being ached in empathy. "You don't think you deserve to be safed..." Dean steeled himself, clearly not at ease that Cas could read him like that. Bitterly he asked: "Why'd you do it?" ' _My Father... If I answer him truthfully, he'll bolt! As long as Dean doesn't remember us, he'll never be able to handle the truth: because I love him... Best stick to the reason I was sent in the first place._ ' Castiël licked his lips. "Because God commanded it." Dean clenched his jaws, making muscles move along his cheeks. "Because we have work for you."

Dean felt ill at ease when the selfproclaimed angel stepped closer. "Good things do happen, Dean." Dean felt his muscles tense up as the guy stepped closer still, right into his personal space. ' _Oh my... How Hallmark can you get, even as an angel._ ' He barely opened his jaws when he answered. ' _Why can't I look away from those eyes? It's like I'm caught._ ' he thought. "You don't think you deserve to be saved..." Dean felt his defenses start to crack at the honest concern in the angel's voice. ' _How can he know that? Am I that bad at hiding stuff like that?_ ' Annoyed with himself, Dean asked again. The angel seemed a bit hesitant to tell, but, his cerulean eyes still locked onto Dean's, it told him: "Because God commanded it." Dean clenched his jaws. ' _Son of a bitch... He's being dead serious!_ ' The angel kept staring straight into his eyes, as if conveying a message, other than the one his mouth was giving. "Because we have work for you." Dean was taken aback. ' _Wait, what?!_ _God_ _has work for_ _me_ _?_ ' Speechless, he just gaped at the angel. It stared back, his blue eyes still boring into him, and then, suddenly, he was gone.


	6. Chapter 6

Castiël sat on a park bench, facing a lake. He rubbed his face with both his hands, ruffling his already unruly hair even more. ' _Why? Why can't Dean remember us? I had to leave... I almost messed up and kissed him. He looked so confused, even a bit scared._ ' Cas hugged himself with both arms and wings, trying to make the gaping emptiness inside hurt less. A late jogger passed him and looked back, clearly wondering if he should help. Cas managed a weak smile and a wave, and the guy shrugged and jogged along. ' _I'll go back home and watch over Dean and his companions there. Maybe I should try and keep my distance, until Dean does remember. I'm not sure I am equipped to handle this level of emotions and hurt._ ' When he was sure there was no-one near enough to see, Castiël flew off to Heaven.

' _My Father! That was close! Those boys know their work, but still. I could have lost Dean there, or his fatherfigure, or his brother... And they didn't even know why the witnesses rose. They are treading water, hoping not to drown. I must advise them of what is really going on, even if Michael doesn't approve. I must make sure Dean knows the truth, so he can survive._ ' Cas flew down into Bobby's kitchen. He leaned against the counter, watching Dean sleep. ' _He deserves his rest, but I don't want to face his brother or old friend yet. Besides... He looks sweet._ ' Dean suddenly opened his eyes. Castiël was certain he had been absolutely silent, but still Dean looked around, and unerringly his gaze found Cas at the counter. ' _Keep a level head, Castiël..._ ' he told himself. ' _Remember... Distance.'_ Dean got to his feet very quietly and without waking even his brother, he walked over. Cas felt a wave of pride for his hunter. "Excellent job with the witnesses." he complimented. Dean looked a bit shocked. "You were hip to all this?" he asked incredulously. ' _Oh boy... Don't let on you were watching. I think he might not appreciate that. Keep your distance._ ' Cas thought franticly. "I was ehm.. Made aware of it." he complied. Dean looked livid. "Well, thanks a lot for the Angelic assistance." he sneered. "You know, I almost got my heart ripped out of my chest!" Inwardly, Castiël cringed at the memory, outwardly he simply replied: "But you didn't." Cas was impressed how Dean could tell him off, without actually raising his voice above an audible whisper. "I thought angels were supposed to be guardians, fluffy wings, halos." Cas felt amused at the stereotypes, and listened with a tilted head and a faint smile to Dean. "You know, Michael Landon, not dicks." ' _How legends change..._ ' Cas thought amused. "Read the Bible." he advised, and almost burst out laughing at Dean's 'are-you-kidding-me' face. "Angels are warriors of God. I'm a soldier." he continued, as if he hadn't noticed. "Yeah, well why didn't ya fight?" Dean demanded. Cas was getting a little annoyed with Dean's attitude. "I'm not here to perch on your shoulder. We had larger concerns." Dean's eyes shot green fire. "Concerns. Hell, people getting torn to shreds down here! By the way, while all of this is going on, where the Hell is you boss, huh? If there even is a God." All the while Dean still kept his voice low, even though he was angry enough to spit fire. Cas felt he had to defend his Father. "There is a God." he interjected. Dean looked disbelieving. "I'm not convinced." Cas merely sighed. Dean's lack of believe was not the issue here, but Dean wasn't done yet. "Cause if there's a God, what the Hell is he waiting for, huh? Genocide, monsters roaming the Earth, the freaking Apocalypse... At what point does he lift a damn finger and help the poor bastards that are stuck down here?"

Cas couldn't answer him truthfully, and that bugged him. All he could think of saying was an old platitude. "The Lord works..." He started, but Dean snarled: "If you say 'mysterious ways' so help me, I will kick your ass!" Cas threw up his hands, not knowing how to respond. He wasn't used to this level of sass and disrespect, but at the same time he was amused. Even Dean himself seemed shocked at his outburst. Quickly he changed course. "So, Bobby was right? About the witnesses? This is some kind of a sign of the Apocalypse?" Cas' amusement vanished. This was not something he wanted to discuss, but he had to, so Dean and Sam and Bobby would at least understand the situation better. "That's why we're here. Big things afoot." Dean looked doubtful. "Do I wanna know what kinda things?" Cas felt sorry, but he had to tell Dean. He was involved up to his eyebrows. ' _This does help me to keep an aloof perspective. To not get too involved... And I don't like it._ ' he mused. "I sincerely doubt it, but you need to know..." Cas watched Dean's face as he explained about the seals. He saw understanding dawn when he mentioned Lilith. Then Dean followed his story with such astute assumptions and quick wits, that Cas was very impressed. In spite of his resolve not to get involved, he found himself stepping ever neared to this beautiful soul, willing him to remember, hoping that he could break the amnesia. When Dean denied the existence of Lucifer, saying: "There's no such thing.", his eyes pleading Cas to agree, Cas smirked a little. "Three days ago you thought there was no such thing as me." He saw that Dean realised he wasn't kidding. "Why do you think we're here, walking among you now, for the first time in two thousand years?" A minute trace of fear showed in the emerald eyes. "To stop Lucifer." Dean whispered. Proud of him, Cas nodded. "That's why we've arrived." Then, in an instant, Dean's whole attitude changed, as if he was determined not to show Cas he was scared. He licked his lips, distracting Cas in the proces, and mocked: "Well, bang up job so far. Stellar work with the witnesses. That's nice." Cas tried to keep his patience, explaining that this was bad, but the war wasn't lost, but Dean rolled his eyes, even snorted. Highly annoyed, Cas stepped even closer to Dean, who was eyeing him nervously. "Our numbers are not unlimited. Six of my brothers died in the field this week. You think the armies of Heaven should just follow you around?" He stared hard into the green orbs, making it extra hard on himself to stay focussed, aloof. "There's a bigger picture here." The hint of fear that Dean's face showed, made Cas lean in closer. Dean got even uneasier, his eyes nervously flicking from left to right. "You should show me some respect." Dean looked a bit abashed, his eyes cast down. "I dragged you out of Hell, I can throw you back in."

Dean didn't know why he woke up, but he felt a presence. He raised himself off the floor a bit and turned to look into the kitchen. In the blueish light through the window, he saw the form of the angel Castiël, leaning against the counter. He turned to look at Sam, but his baby brother was fast asleep, meaning the angel couldn't have made a sound to wake Dean up, because Sam slept as light as he did. Quietly he got to his feet and walked up to the guy at the counter. "Excellent job with the witnesses." he said softly in that gravelly voice. Dean felt a pleasant chill at the sound of the angel's voice, but overruling that, was annoyance. ' _That winged jerk could have helped!_ ' He couldn't quite believe it. "You were hip to all this?" he snapped. "I was ehm.. Made aware of it." the angel answered his question, not quite meeting his eye. Anger flooded Dean and he went into a rage, whilst keeping his voice down, so he wouldn't wake Sammy or Bobby. They'd want explainations, and Dean was too pissed to allow for them. Castiël just stood there, a mild smile on his face, and then: "Read the Bible." Dean was taken aback at his calm tone as well as the actual words. ' _Is he freaking kidding me?_ ' he thought, before the anger flared up again at being dismissed as a 'lesser concern'. ' _Why would God, if he even exists, sit back and let his angels just rip apart the freaking planet?_ ' He was waiting for the angel to magically poof some hard evidence in existence, but he just mouthed the same platitudes Pastor Jim often used. Dean snapped. "If you say 'mysterious ways' so help me, I will kick your ass!" he snarled, and as he watched the angel throw his hands up and look away, he realised that he could have gone too far. That Castiël could smite him right there and then. ' _Did I really just sass a freaking angel? Geez Winchester, suicidal much?_ ' But Castiël looked somewhat amused, and Dean decided to change the subject, before he really put his foot in it. The change affected Castiël too. He suddenly got serious, and the cute smile around his mouth vanished. Dean made a crack about the seals not being a show at Seaworld, but it didn't bring back the smile or lighten the mood. Then the angel mentioned Lilith and Dean nodded. ' _Now we're in familiar territory! This I can handle._ ' Dean thought, and he felt more confident to contribute to the discussion. He liked bantering with Castiël, it was like working a case with Sam, only without being outshined every now and then. Not that he minded when Sam did that. He was outragously proud of his smart little brother. Dean could see that opening the final seal could mean trouble, since Castiël seemed reluctantly to tell him what would happen. When the angel told him that Lucifer would walk free, Dean felt a chill of apprehension. ' _Lucifer_ _? That stuff is real too? The actual_ _Devil_ _roaming the Earth freely? But that can't be real... I'm not fit to take on the Devil! I can't believe it, I won't!'_ Dean panicked. When Castiël pointed out that until three days ago, Dean didn't believe in angels either, Dean realised they were screwed, and he was scared. His survival instincts kicked in and the biting sarcasm, that came with that, did it's usual job of burying the fear deep down. He expected the angel to get mad, even yell at him, but it went into some sort of lecture. Old habits die hard, and Dean rolled his eyes at the 'loose a battle, win the war' speech. ' _We still lost twenty hunters. Ripped to ribbons!_ ' he thought annoyed, and snorted. Quietly, yet threateningly, Castiël moved closer, telling Dean about the angels that died. ' _Oh God... I've pissed him off._ ' Dean thought, but he couldn't deny a certain tension, exitement if you will, at having the angel standing so close. ' _He has amazing eyes... Like looking into the sky just before sunrise._ ' Castiël leaned in closer, and Dean could sense the annoyance of the angel. Castiël demanded respect and Dean felt ashamed of his adolescent attitude. The angel was right, he had been a jerk. Castiël delivered his threat, "I dragged you out of Hell, I can throw you back in." and Dean felt true fear. But before he could wonder if Castiël would actually do it, he was alone. And then he woke up again, wondering if it had been but a dream.

Cas stalked around some wood or other around Sioux Falls. ' _That man!_ ' he fumed. ' _How can he be so annoying and disrespectful, and still make me want to kiss his soft mouth?_ ' He sat down in a huff, not noticing the pineneedles sticking through his trenchcoat and suit pants. ' _So much for not getting involved. I had to leave again, or I might have done something quite inapropriate..._ ' Cas sighed and remembered the kisses he had shared with Dean in Limbo. ' _Hopefully next time he will remember..._ ' Cas thought, longing for more.


	7. Chapter 7

"Castiël, you need to make Dean Winchester aware of what his brother is doing. It is getting out of hand." Cas' heart jumped when he heard the name. His mouth ran away before his brain kicked in and he blatantly asked: "Why me, Michael?" His brother and commander raised an eyebrow. "Excuse you? Because I gave you an order, Castiël." Cas bowed his head under the rebuke. "Yes, sir. How do I make him aware, without telling him outright? He would get very upset, and maybe do something drastic, damaging to the future." Michael nodded appreciativly. "We have an idea. It will give Dean all the information we have, safely, but you need to be absolutely on full capacity. Are you? Is your Grace all charged and ready?" Cas took a deep breath and checked his Grace. Since Limbo, no, since Dean, it had never been quiet. It was almost bouncing off the walls. "Yes, sir." "Then come, let me explain."

Sam snuck out in the middle of the night, getting in the car with a pretty brunette. Castiël frowned at her. One look at her, and he knew Sam was in deeper trouble than he thought. ' _Michael is right. This has to stop. That demon looked dangerous!_ ' Cas popped into the motelroom Sam just left. Dean was sleeping fitfully, wincing and moaning. Cas wanted to touch him, to see what he was dreaming about, but he was scared to. Suddenly Dean's eyes flew open and he breathed heavily. "Hello Dean." Cas felt a thrill as he watched Dean's amazingly beautiful eyes look at him over his shoulder. "What were you dreaming about?" Cas felt his heart thump. ' _Please remember. Please, dream about us._ ' Dean 's eyes flicked over his figure, then he turned away and sat up. "You get your freak on watching other people sleep?" Cas looked away. He did like to watch Dean sleep. Most of the time he looked so peacefully, and Cas could believe that when he woke up, he would be happy to see him. "What do you want?" Cas sighed internally. Dean was most certainly not happy to see him. "Listen to me... You have to stop it." Dean looked confused, and Cas hated that he was the cause of it. "Stop what?" Dean asked. Wishing there was another way, any other way, Cas simply put his fingers on Dean's forehead and put him to sleep. Then he waited a bit for his Grace to recharge. Once that was done, he scooped up Dean in a gentle embrace and focussed on their destination. When they arrived in Lawrence, Kansas on April 30th, 1973, Cas, while being invisible, hugged his sleeping love. He kissed his forehead and inhaled his scent, before laying him down on a bench. He stood back and looked at Dean's peaceful face. He remembered Dean's leather jacket, and lay it over him, just before the cop, walking his beat, turned around the corner.

Dean dreamt. Flashes of Hell made him feel scared and alone. Yet somehow he was wanting to see more, see a specific moment. Whenever he dreamt of Hell, Dean always wanted to see if he could remember Castiël, coming to get him out. Yet he never seemed to get to that part. Tonight was no different. He saw the rack, he saw Allistair, an he saw the soul he was about to torture. Something felt different though, and he was hopeful that tonight he would remember the angel coming in to get him. Just before he was about to cut into he soul on the rack, he felt a presence, just like that night at Bobby's, after they had faced the witnesses. He opened his eyes: nothing but the motel room. Disappointed he breathed heavily in and out. "Hello Dean." he heard Castiël's gruff voice. He whipped his head around, and there sat the very person he wanted to see. "What were you dreaming about?" the angel asked, his blue eyes locking onto Dean's. ' _I can't tell him that, or that I'm actually glad to see him..._ _He might get the wrong idea._ ' He quickly took in the angel's appearance, liking the ruffled look of his hair and loose tie. Not wanting Cas to see anything in his face, Dean turned away, sat up and threw his jacket off. His defenses sprang up. Confident that he got his face under control, he looked at the angel again. "You get your freak on watching other people sleep?" Castiël looked away. This annoyed Dean. ' _What's he uncomfortable about? Is he hiding something?_ ' he thought and he grumpily asked: "What do you want?" The angel cast his eyes down. "Listen to me.." Those amazing, cerulean eyes looked at him sideways, and Dean thought he could see something like pity in them. "You have to stop it." Castiël said. ' _What? Stop what? The Apocalypse? Can't be it. Then what?_ ' Dean's thoughts went haywire. "Stop what?" he asked. When Castiël didn't answer, but brought his index and middlefinger up, Dean felt apprehension churn his stomach. That was how he had knocked out Bobby that time in the barn. He felt his eyes cross, as he tried to keep the fingers in focus. Then all went blissfully blank.

Cas watched the cop wake Dean. He looked so adorably confused, trying to get celphone reception. Cas nudged Dean's awareness and directed him towards the diner. Cas knew he would meet John there and he really wanted to warn Dean, so he wouldn't be caught off guard, but that might cause more trouble than just letting Dean find out for himself. Cas followed Dean inside. ' _Great Father in Heaven! I can see where Dean got his looks from! The Winchester line is blessed indeed!_ ' How handsome John might look, he missed that special glow, that made Dean so attractive. Cas watched as Dean slowly came to realise his situation. The look on Dean's face when he found out who the guy next to him was, made Cas almost forget his orders, forget that he had promised himself to keep his distance. He quickly left the diner when Dean followed his Dad. ' _I'll try and explain Dean as much as I can._ '

When John rounded the corner, Dean lost him for just a bit. Keeping an eye out for anything, Dean followed, almost bumping into Castiël. ' _For the love of... Can't he cough or something? This scares the crap out of me._ ' The blue eyes of the angel were filled with sympathy, if not empathy, and it took Dean's breath away. He panted a bit. "What is this?" he demanded gruffly, hiding the fact that he secretly was glad to see Castiël. He felt less lost now. "What does it look like?" came the stoïc answer. ' _Oh come_ _on_ _! Is a straight answer so hard to give?_ ' Dean thought, exasperated. "Is it real?" he asked, remembering the last time he had a longer talk with Cas, it turned out to be a dream. "Very." So much for getting clarity. ' _Is it against the law to elaborate?_ ' Dean was getting annoyed with the single sentence answers the angel gave. "Ok, so what? Angels got their hands on some DeLoreans? How did I get here?" Castiël looked away, almost reluctantly answering. "Time is fluïd, Dean. It's not easy, but we can bend it, on occasion." Dean felt anger rising up. ' _What the Hell? If it's so hard, why do it in the first place? To yank my chain?_ ' He just wanted to go home and have a beer. "Well, bend it back! Or tell me what the Hell I'm doing here..." The stoïc face seemed to mellow a bit, become compassionate. "I told you. You have to stop it." Castiël answered. Dean got more and more confused. ' _Are the demons trying to get Dad, before he meets mom, so me and Sammy won't get born?_ ' The angel had once again locked his eyes onto Dean's as if he was trying to convey a deeper message than he could with his mouth. "Stop what? Huh? Is there something nasty after my Dad?" The blue, piercing eyes in front of him unnerved Dean, and when carbreaks screamed and a horn blared, he looked around, to see if it was John that had caused the disruption. Satisfied his Dad was safe, he turned back to Castiël, only to find him gone.

Cas hated leaving Dean hanging to dry, as the saying goes, but he couldn't do it any more. He couldn't keep his mouth shut. He wanted so much to tell Dean every single thing, just so he could take him home and not have him live through this. He felt his heart break when Dean realised his mother, his mother of all people, had been a hunter. It must have crushed Dean, who always thought his mom was blissfully unaware of the Supernatural. He had wanted to soothe Dean's mind when it went racing after the farmboy had told him the yellow eyed demon had been there. Dean needed someone. All through Dean's day, Cas could feel a need growing within his charge's soul. It kept getting stronger and stronger. He even spoke it aloud when he saw his mom for the first time. Cas heard him say it. "Sammy, wherever you are..." And now Cas sat shotgun to Dean, invisible as he had been for most of the day, and he could almost hear Dean's thoughts, wishing for his brother to be there, so he could talk to him. Exchange ideas and theories with his smart, knowing little brother. Coming to conclusions together. Cas sighed. He should try and make clear to Dean, that going after the demon might not pan out the way Dean might have thought. He popped his invisibility bubble and waited. Dean checked his mirrors routinely and gasped as his eyes found Cas. When he had caught his breath, he sarcastically remarked: "So what? God is my copilot, is that it?" Cas was starting to dislike this defense mechanism Dean had. He glanced at him, not saying anything yet. Dean turned those applegreen eyes on him and Cas had to remind himself of his intent not to get too involved. Dean looked back to the road. "Well, you're a regular Chatty Cathy... Tell me something, Sam would've wanted in on this. Why not bring him back?" Cas checked Dean's face again. ' _I was right. He wants his brother... Oh my... I never thought this could hurt me._ ' Cas looked at the road again, afraid his feelings might be seen in his eyes. "You had to do this alone, Dean." Dean nodded. "And you don't care that he is tearing up the future, looking for me right now?" Inside, Cas cringed. ' _I'm sorry, Dean. I don't want to tell you this, but you leave me no choice._ ' He kept his eyes on the road, so he wouldn't see Dean's face when he told him. "Sam's not looking for you." A shocked silence. "Allright, if I do this, then the family curse breaks, right?" Dean looked at Cas hopefully. ' _Oh no... Sweetheart! Don't go there. It's not going to happen.._.' Cas cried in the silence of his mind. His training in Heaven made sure that his deadpan didn't break. "Mom and Dad live happily ever after and Sam and I grow up playing Little League and chasing tail?" Cas steeled his heart. "You realise, if you do alter the future, your Father, you, Sam, you'll never become hunters. And all those people you saved... They'll die." Cas could tell Dean hadn't thought of it, and this fact hit Dean hard. Pain, responsibility, resolve. They all came and went in those startling eyes. "I realise..." Dean finally said, low. "And you don't care.." Cas concluded. "Oh I care..." Dean said, his eyes overflowing with pain. "...I care a lot!" He licked his lips nervously. "But these are my parents..." His voice broke, and Cas had to fight himself, not to reach out in comfort. "I'm not gonna let them die again. I can't." The profound pain in Dean's voice and the tears brimming in his eyes nearly broke Cas' heart and he fled. He could just hear Dean say: " Well, not if I can stop it."

Dean tore up the asphalt to get to his parents, hoping against all hopes that the demon wearing his grandfather's body wouldn't beat him there. ' _This is not going the way I planned. Please mom,_ ' he pleaded silently ' _please... Don't do anything stupid._ ' The beams from his headlights cut through the night and when he turned to get to the bridge, gravel spat from under the tires. Another turn and the lightbeams shone on the one scene Dean didn't want to see. His mother, kissing the demon over his father's body. He sprang from the car. "NO!" The demon turned it's ugly, pale yellow eyes on him and smirked. Then it left Samuel's body like billowing smoke, dropping it like a puppet on the floor. Mary looked at Dean with a tear streaked face, but when John stirred she turned to him, crying and hugging him. ' _No... ..no... This can't be happening! I didn't stop it... Mom... Dad... I'm sorry..._ ' Dean felt a hand on his shoulder and turned. Castiël stood there, eyes full of sorrow on his behalf. Dean wanted to throw himself into the angel's arms, hugging him for comfort like his Mom did with his Dad, but he couldn't. He felt his eyes sting with tears and he swallowed. Then all went dark again.

Cas put Dean back in his motel bed, just the way he had been lying when Cas had entered the room the first time. ' _Oh, my sweet love. Please don't hate me._ ' he thought. ' _And don't hate yourself. This was destined to happen. Only God himself could have altered this._ ' He felt tears roll down his cheeks. He just couldn't forget Dean's face when he came to get him. For a split second, Cas had thought Dean would throw himself in his arms and weep. Those lovely green eyes had been filled with such sorrow and guilt... ' _I mustn't show I care. I mustn't get too close.'_ Those words repeated through his mind like a mantra, and after a few minutes, Cas felt his face grow impassive. His heart and mind were in turmoil, but at least Dean wouldn't know. He sat down, waiting for Dean to wake up. He did so breathing heavily, like the last time. Cas forced himself not to react, not to hurry over and offer his love the comfort he obviously needed. Dean wearily sat up on the bed. In defeated tones he said: "I couldn't stop any of it." Cas deadpanned and made his heart of steel. " She still made the deal." Dean continued. "She still died in the nursery, didn't she?" Cas didn't dare look at him, afraid he might break down. Staring straight at the wall, he replied. "Don't be too hard on yourself. You couldn't have stopped it." Disbelieving, Dean rose from the bed. "What?" he asked. Cas felt his defenses crumble. "Destiny can't be changed, Dean." He slowly turned towards Dean, his eyes sad. "All roads lead to the same destination." Dean looked hurt, ready to break down. "Then why did you send me back?" Cas felt his heart fill with sorrow again. ' _Why don't you remember us! I could help you, support you in so many ways, if you only remembered._ ' He looked straight into Dean's eyes, trying to force the memory on him, but to no avail. He answered Dean's question with a bleeding heart. "For the truth. Now you know everything we do." Dean looked lost. "What the Hell are you talking about?" Cas had to say it, but he couldn't. He litterally could not get the words out of his mouth. With infinite sadness he turned to look at the made bed where Sam should have been sleeping. Dean whipped his head around. "Where's Sam?" he demanded. Cas still couldn't tell Dean. It would hurt the hunter too much. "We know what Azazel did to your brother, what we don't know is why. What his endgame is. He went to great lengths to cover that up." Dean closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, Cas could see anger flaring in them. "Where's Sam?" he repeated, impatient. The address, Cas felt, he could safely say. "425, Waterman." Dean hurried past him and glared at the angel. Cas could feel the worry radiate off him as he put on his shirt and jacket. ' _I_ _should warn him. Michael and the others will not be lenient towards Sam, if he keeps on going like this._ ' Not daring to look at Dean, Cas spoke. "Your brother is headed down a dangerous road, Dean, and we're not sure where it leads." Dean merely checked the chamber of his gun. "So stop it." Cas warned, finally turning to look at his hunter. "Or we will." Dean finally got the warning. He looked at Cas, appalled and a bit scared. Scared for Sam. Cas said nothing and watched Dean go, while his whole being wanted to go with him.


	8. Chapter 8

Cas was waiting, ill at ease. The brothers should return any time now. His heart fluttered at the mere thought of seeing Dean again, but he looked ahead stoïcly. He mustn't let on how much he loved Dean, especially not in his present company. Uriël was less than fond of the humans, often calling them 'mudmonkey', and he was adamantly against interspecies relations. He'd lose all respect he ever had for Castiël, and he would not obey any order he'd receive from Castiël. The door opened, and the voice he heard calling out "Who are you?" was not the one he hoped, but soon after his heart went into frantic palpatations when he heard the deep voice of his beloved call out. "Sam! Sam, wait. It's Castiël..." Cas thought he heard a bit of a joyous undertone when Dean pronounced his name, and he felt his stomach grow warm with hope and love. Dean continued "... The angel... Him I don't know." ' _Ah, they saw Uriël. I hope Dean doesn't get too sassy with him._ ' Cas sighed internally and decided to bite the bullet. He turned to Sam, who was wearing an awed expression. "Hello, Sam." Cas said, determined to stay polite, even though the boy had dabbled with the demonblood, which wasn't really his fault either. Sam stuttered and fumbled his words, finally getting out the phrase: "It's an honour. Really, I... I've heard a lot about you." Cas actually felt sorry for the boy, now that he saw that open and honest face. Even though his eyes weren't the jade green colour of his brother's, he did resemble Dean in other ways, and Cas felt that he couldn't dislike the tall boy. Sam held out his hand expectantly, shaking it, to indicate that he wanted Cas to shake it. Cas snapped from his thoughts and took the hand. It was calloussed, but the grip was firm and honest. He placed his other hand over Sam's and replied. "And I you. Sam Winchester, the boy with the demonblood." Sam looked offended at that. ' _Oh. That must not be polite... I must set him at ease._ ' Cas looked up into Sam's face and hoped his eyes could convey the message he didn't want Uriël to hear. ' _I'm sorry. I don't judge you for that. I know how hard resisting temptation can be._ ' Sam's face looked puzzled. "I'm glad to hear you've ceased your extra curricular activities." It didn't look like Sam understood Cas' meaning. His face stayed in that puzzled look. From the window, Uriël piped up. When Dean sassed the Angel of the Devine Flame, Cas inwardly rolled his eyes. He kept looking at Sam when he asked if they had stopped the rising of Samhain, because he didn't trust himself enough to look at Dean yet. He might blush, and that would be a dead give away. When Dean asked him why, he had to fight to keep his face impassive. When he showed them the hexbag, and he uttered the words "...surely one or both of you could be dead." he just couldn't face them. He felt that his eyes might betray his feelings to them, so he looked away. ' _Keep a level head, Cas... Don't get close._ ' When Uriël finally decided to join the conversation, Dean instantly ruffled his feathers by being rude. Cas stepped in before things got ugly and reluctantly introduced his brother. Of course his quickwitted love had to ask that one question Cas really didn't want to answer: "What kind of specialist?" Uriël just looked at Cas, his whole stance saying "You're in charge. You tell the mudmonkey." Dean caught it, of course, and he demanded to know what they were going to do. Cas turned towards the boys, and told them to leave town. As was to be expected from his curious beloved, the next thing that beautiful voice said was "why?" ' _You have to do this, don't you, my Dean? You have to make me say it. Make me seem heartless in your eyes._ ' Inwardly, Cas sighed and wished he could find a way to obey orders, but keep from saying the next sentence. "Because we're about to destroy it." Instantly the look in Dean's eyes turned from wary to unbelieving with a hint of disappointment. Disappointment in Cas. Cas looked away. It felt like an Angelblade had been stabbed into his heart. It hurt to see that look in Dean's green eyes, and knowing he put it there.

Dean couldn't believe it. He thought that Castiël was one of the good guys, and now this... Sarcasm biting in his words, Dean gave the angel a piece of his mind. Oddly, it seemed that Castiël somehow didn't fully back Heaven's plans. When the angel stared into his eyes, Dean felt some sort of connection. Some kind of bond. It felt as if Castiël was telling him volumes when those beautiful blue eyes locked onto Dean's own. ' _Good god... I sound like a schoolgirl, fawning over the football captain. Holy... No. Way. I don't swing that way... Do I?'_ Dean felt doubt rise, but he stubbornly pushed it down, with all other feelings towards that beautiful angel with the adorable bedhead and pink lips. When said angel stepped into Dean's personal space, his blue eyes drilling into Dean's, and told him that if Lucifer rose, Hell would too, Dean felt a chill. Picturing Hell on Earth turned his stomach, yet, as he looked at the angel in front of him, he could imagine kissing that pink mouth. He could almost feel the preassure of those lips on his own, as if he already had done it. Dean swallowed hard and licked his lips. He heard Sam protest vehemently, trying to convince Castiël that they could stop the witch. Dean shot his brother a glance, distantly noticing that Sammy looked hurt. He must be. His firm believe in angels and the goodness of Heaven had just been crushed. Dean turned his gaze back to Castiël, wanting to tell him he agreed with his baby brother, but he couldn't speak. The intense gaze of the angel made him mutely open and close his mouth. The other angel disdainfully said: "We're wasting time with these mudmonkies." Dean saw Castiël glance at Sam, before tuning away from them all. For a second there, Dean had felt Castiël wanted to kiss him too. ' _Get real Winchester. He's an angel, and a dude. He'd never,_ _ever_ _think of that, certainly not with the likes of me._ ' Sam's frantic voice broke through his musings and anger rose inside Dean. Those selfrighteous bastards, taking one of the last straws of hope Sam clinged to, and breaking it in pieces.

Cas buried his feelings deep and kept going, explaining that they didn't have much time, because the seal had to be saved. Sam stepped in, wanting to know if they were really willing to kill over a thousand people. Cas felt so proud of him, as if he was a father, hearing his son make a decission beyond his age. Yet he knew his orders, and he felt torn. His loyalty wavering between Heaven and this boy and his brother. He didn't like Uriël. Uriël was so overly convinced that he was better than these people, and yet this boy, merely a baby in their eyes, was simply doing what God had told the angels to do: love humanity. Besides, what Uriël called 'purifying' was plain and simple murder. And Cas couldn't see how that was just. Still the orders came from Heaven, so they must be just. "Look. I understand." Cas said, turning to look Dean in the eyes. "This is regrettable." Dean snorted softly. "Regrettable?" Cas really started to dislike Dean's sarcastic side. ' _How can I make you see how bad this could become?_ ' Cas wondered, as he stared into Dean's veridian eyes while they bantered. After a third sarcastic remark, it hit Cas. 'I _know how, but, oh my love, this will hurt you._ ' Steeling his heart, Cas stepped closer to Dean, willing his beloved to see into his eyes, his being and remember him, to know that he didn't want to hurt him. "Lucifer cannot rise. He does, and Hell rises with him..." Keeping his cerulean eyes locked onto the veridian ones, he could see the shock of his words hitting. "Is that something you're willing to risk?" Dean opened his mouth, but didn't say anything. Cas could see him picturing actual Hell on Earth. It seemed Dean understood and his tongue licked his pink lips. Cas remembered how soft those lips were, how good Dean tasted, and he wanted to kiss him right there and then. Sam babbled something, but only when Uriël insultingly said "We're wasting time with these mudmonkies." did Cas snap out of it. He glanced at Sam, who looked indignant. "I'm sorry, but we have our orders." Cas said, turning away from Dean, before he did grab his face and kiss those tempting lips. "No, you can't do this... You're... You're Angels!" Sam pleaded. Cas felt his heart break for the younger Winchester. Another innocent believe, trust in Heaven's soldiers, destroyed. ' _I'm sorry Sam... But we have to do this... We have no choice._ ' He voiced that last bit of his thought, and Dean pounced on it. "Of course you have a choice..." Cas felt the tear in his being widen. How could he not be loyal to Heaven? He had to make Dean and Sam see that Heaven's plan would pan out. He defended his home, but all it did was anger Dean. So Cas tried a new tactic. He dragged John into it. It was below the belt, but Cas felt that that comparison would surely help Dean trust the 'plan'. Dean almost licked his lips again and Cas felt sure he had understood, but all of a sudden Dean said: "Well, I'm sorry boys, but the plans have changed."

Dean heard himself lashing out, trying to make these stubborn, holier-than-thou wingnuts see that there was another way. Any other way than simply slaughtering twelvehundred innocent civillians. Castiël tried to convince them to have faith, that the plan was just, since it came from Heaven. Inwardly, Dean rolled his eyes. ' _Please!_ _That's_ _your excuse?_ ' Then Castiël did the unimaginable. "When your father gave you an order, Dean, did you not obey?" Dean's anger evaporated and a certainty took it's place. His father might have been an asshat, but he would never, ever order Dean to commit murder like this. He looked the angel in the eyes, seeing hope in those ocean blue orbs, and then, with a certain degree of satisfaction, Dean crushed that hope. He then stepped up to that bioused bastard Uriël, and tore him up too. Then, for good meassure, and because he felt that Castiël was somehow in charge, he stepped back to the blue eyed angel. Castiël looked him straight in the eyes, and Dean thought he could see pride in them. Pride for him? When Uriël spoke up, impatience colouring his voice, Castiël cut off his unintelligeble mutterings with a decisive "Enough!" Castiël's deep blue eyes never left Dean's face as he suggested they should get a move on. ' _We're not done yet, angel_.' Dean thought as he nodded.

Cas couldn't believe it... Dean was willing to stay and die? He felt scared and yet so very, very proud of his beloved hunter. Dean stepped by him, right up to Uriël and he laid the line with the seraph, occasionally sassing him beyond Cas' belief. The proud feeling in Cas' chest grew ten times bigger. Dean stepped back towards Cas and he adamantly told him what's what. ' _Oh, Dean, I am so proud of you. You are one in a million! I just wish you would remember... Us. That way you would know you can trust me, always!_ ' He tried to let those thoughts show in his eyes while he stared into veridian pools of determination. Uriël started to protest. His dark voice rang out warningly. "Castiëeeel..." Cas held out his hand, shushing the other angel. "Enough!" Cas barked, still keeping his eyes locked with Dean's. "I suggest you move quickly." he merely stated. Dean looked right back and nodded infinitely small. Then Cas watched them leave. His Dean and Dean's little brother, who was starting to make Cas feel that he couldn't be that bad.

Dean sat in his Baby, silently going over the whole scene in the motelroom. Sam was unusually quiet too. ' _Those asshats... How am I going to heal this hurt? I couldn't help him. I had to stand there and watch that buffoon Uriël take Sammy's faith and rip it up._ ' Dean tried to console Sam, even reverting to light sarcasm, but Sam still looked hurt beyond help. Dean sighed inwardly. Nothing to be done about it now. They had a witch to gank. He started Baby up, and they drove off.

Cas was irked. Uriël's attitude towards the humans was disrespectful, and now Cas was learning more about them, about what they are, he felt they were equals. The ease with which Uriël was willing to sacrifice a whole town, made Cas angry. Humans deserved to live, as much as any other living thing. Besides Uriël knew their true orders, and still he suggested the destruction. Cas hoped he would soon be rid of the other angel.

Dean stared at Sam. He had a bleeding nose and obviously a splitting headache. ' _Oh Sammy... Why? Why didn't those angels step in? They smite, don't they? If they had come in, you wouldn't have had to do this._ ' Sam appologeticly stared back at Dean. Dean knew he had to, to survive, but still, watching his baby brother use such dark powers, made his blood turn to ice. Not able to handle his emotions, Dean lashed out at the wrong person. He knew it, but he couldn't stop himself.

Cas found Dean watching kids running around in a park. Before he made himself visible, he enjoyed a moment to admire his love. He had been through so much, and yet, he looked like he was just your every day Joe. Relaxed, on his lunchbreak or something, just watching the children. They couldn't know how thankfull they should be, and Dean... Dean didn't think much of it. Those people mattered, not him. That Dean felt this way was unbelievable for Cas. ' _I have got to tell him. Make him see that he matters._ ' With a sigh, Cas made himself visible while Dean faced the other way.

Dean didn't turn his head, never even glanced at the bench where Cas sat, but still he knew Cas was there. ' _That flying, selfrighteous tool of Heaven. UGH. Probably here to rub my nose in it. Asshat._ ' Dean didn't know why, but the idea of Castiël being such a brave little soldier, blindly obeying every command, without doubt, made him angry. He felt that Castiël should be an individual, making his own choises. He sighed. "Lemme guess. You're here for the 'I-told-you-so'?" The angel didn't even look at him. "No." it simply stated. "Well, good because I'm not really interested." Dean thought Castiël looked tired somehow. ' _Not here to judge, huh? Could've fooled me. The way that other wingnut acted..._ ' When Castiël brought up his orders, Dean got fed up. "Yeah, you know, I've had about enough of these orders of yours." he snapped. Castiël turned his blue eyes on Dean, making him feel a twinge of fear. "Our orders..." he resumed. "... were not to stop the summoning of Samhain. They were to do, whatever you told us to do." That took Dean by surprise. ' _Wait... What? Suddenly I'm outranking an angel?!_ ' He put his lower arms on his knees, looking at Castiël. "Your orders were to follow my orders?" That sounded so off. Castiël kept his eyes on Dean, as if to see how he would take it. "It was a test. To see how you'd preform under... battlefield conditions, you might say." His gaze wandered off towards the playing children. "It was a witch..." Dean said. Castiël turned his head back towards him. "I find that a tad offensive." The angel smiled and sniggered. ' _Oh wow! He looks gorgeous when he smiles._ ' Dean thought absentmindedly. To hide his feelings, not only from Castiël, but formost from himself, Dean snorted and said: "So, I failed your test, huh? I get it. But you know what?" He licked his lips a bit nervously. Sassing Uriël came naturally, but sassing Castiël... Not so much. "If you were to wave that magic timetravelling wand of yours, and we had to do it all over again, I'd make the same call."

Castiël just looked at him, not saying anything, so Dean decided to give him a piece of his mind. ' _If I'm sassing him, might as well do it right. I'm proud that Sam and I saved these people, wether that means I failed or not._ ' So when Castiël confessed that he had been praying that Dean would save the town, Dean was taken aback. And when he called the people works of art, Dean had to wrap his mind around that. That was a whole new way of looking at life. Next on the rollercoaster ride that the angel was taking him on was a simple little comment. "We're one step closer to Hell on Earth for all creation." Dean felt his heart squeeze in fear and he swallowed hard. "Now that is not an expression, Dean. It's litteral. You of all people should appreciate what that means." The angel kept his blue eyes trained on his face, as if he wanted to see if Dean indeed got that. Suddenly it changed. Castiël looked a little uneasy. He rubbed his hands. "Can I tell you something, if you promise not to tell another soul?" Dean was a bit taken aback by the sudden change. ' _Now I'm a priest to this angel? Taking his confession. Seriously, my life just got superweird._ ' But he couldn't deny the angel. That would be unfair. So he just said : "Okay." and waited. The angel confessed that he doubted, that he didn't know right from wrong, and Dean felt sorry for him. ' _I know what that's like, Cas. To have all your certainties ripped away. You feel alone and scared, even if you don't want to admit it to yourself. I'm sorry._ ' The angel looked at Dean with something of pity in his blue eyes. "But... In the coming months you will have more decissions to make. I don't envy the weight that is on your shoulders, Dean. I truely don't." Dean swallowed again. They kept eyecontact and Dean felt like he was falling into those cerulean depths. ' _He couldn't care. Why would he? He only got me out on orders, but still... It's almost as if he wants to tell me something. God, his eyes... They are mesmerising..._ ' Afraid the angel might read his thoughts, Dean looked away and swallowed, nervously, again. When he looked back, Castiël was gone.


	9. Chapter 9

"Castiël, I need for you and Uriël to go back to Earth and find a girl." Cas snapped out of his reverie of kissing Dean. "A girl, Michael? What girl? Why?" Uriël looked at him. "What does it matter why? Michael says we have to find the mudmonkey, we find it." Cas closed his eyes, hating his brain for telling him, in Dean's voice, ' _That was uncalled for. She has rights like everyone else._ ' Biting his cheek, not to sass his brother, Cas turned to Michael. "Why should we find her, and what shall we do with her?" His commander and older brother looked surprised at the question, but he answered. "It seems that we have found our lost sister, Anabiel. Anna has been born a human baby, and ever since you raised Dean Winchester, vestiges of her angelic being resurfaced." Cas felt his stomach flip at the mention of Dean, but Michael nor Uriël seemed to notice his tiny intake of breath. "After you made the public announcement, Castiël, she has awoken. She can hear us talk again, and I am sure some memories will resurface." Cas felt anger flare up. "You can't be blaming me. I only made that announcement on your orders. I didn't want to shout from the rooftops "Dean Winchester has been saved!" That was your idea. To boost morale." Cas had to be honest, his heart had shouted along, but he still hadn't wanted to do it. He had wanted to go back, and help Dean get out. ' _Maybe, if I had refused to do it, I would have been there when he got out, and he wouldn't have forgotten our time in Limbo, our kisses or our feelings for eachother._ ' He mentally shook himself. Michael and Uriël looked at him, as if he had done something odd. "Anna is a liability, Castiël. She needs to be either brought to justice here, or killed." Michael answered. "As long as she has no Grace, kill her." Uriël looked as if he had gotten an unexpected gift. Not daring to be any more insubordinate, Cas locked away his doubts and steeled his heart. "Ok. Let us retrieve her."

Uriël bit off a few choice cusses and Cas shushed him. "Remember that we are not supposed to be here. The girl got away. That much is obvious. The orderly she maltreated does not even recall going in here. I overheard his superior telling someone. Let us try and find her." Secretly, Cas was delighted that Anna was gone. He knew that choosing to fall was bad, but he also knew that if Anna had started feeling, as he was, he could understand why his former captain had chosen this painful path. "Well, we are not going to get any wiser standing around, that's for sure. Where to now, Castiël?" Uriël got restless. Cas thought. "I think she might want to go to her parents. I sense no Grace, so she is still human." Uriël smirked. Cas didn't get what was funny, but then again Uriël had a sense of humour Cas didn't get often. "She still will feel attached to them." Uriël spread his wings. "Let's go."

Cas regarded the lifeless corpses of Anna's caretakers with a smidge of sadness. These people, they only birthed and raised a child. Loved and cherished it. They did not deserve this demise. "She isn't here either, Castiël. Now what?" Cas got distracted by the colourful arangement of family pictures. One was placed back sloppilly. He picked it up and a hint of a familiar smell hit his nostrils. ' _Dean..._ ' He cherished the woodsy smell, with a hint of gunpowder and Holywater. It made his head reel and blood rushed to his cheeks. Looking away from his companion, he determinately pushed his feelings down and examined the picture. It was a family picture, taken in front of the church where the man had been deacon. "Let us try here. It is a house of God. The religious side of her will think demons will not be able to go there." He didn't dare mention that her angelic side might just want to go home. Uriël smiled grimly. "Good. I'm through wasting time on this."

When they got tho the church, Cas sniffed the air alarmed. "Sulfur! I hope we are not too late! The demons must not get their hands on her!" He flew to the other side, where he found a shattered window, broken glass all around and the smell of blood mixed with the sulfur and Dean's typical odor. Uriël stood in the frame of the broken window, looking down at him. "No-one. There is evidence of quite a fight here. I smell demonblood as well as human." Cas' heart froze in his chest. ' _Dean! Oh, please, be allright. Please, don't be hurt. I would take my blade to my heart if you were gone._ ' He picked up a shard of stained glass and carefully sniffed the blood on it. A weight dropped off his shoulders. It wasn't Dean's. Similar in smell, yet different. Not woodsy, but fresher, like the ocean. Still the gunpowder and Holywater though. It must be Sam's. Not a lot of blood, and two sets of footprints left the scene, close together. Cas could just picture the Winchester brothers, supporting eachother, while making their exit. Uriël appeared next to him. "I think we can forget about finding our sister quickly now. It appears she is under the protection of one or more hunters." Cas showed him the shard of glass. "I smelled a similar smell at the house. It could be that Anna has somehow drawn the attention of the Winchesters." Uriël smirked again. "Now why would you say that, Castiël? It could have been any other hunter. Why would the Winchesters pop to your mind?" Cas bit his lip, trying not to blush. "The smell at the house, and of this blood, are similar, not the same. Meaning they came from two people, who are very close. Blood related. I do not know of any other sibling hunters. Do you?" Uriël glanced at him. "No." Cas tried to ignore the smugness radiating of his companion. "Since you pulled the monkey out of it's cage.. Can you sense him?" Trying not to snap at Uriël for the continueing disrespect, Cas considered this. "I think I can. But we might want to take care. Anna might still have found her Grace by now." Again that smug smirk flashed across Uriël's face. Almost like he knew a secret...


	10. Chapter 10

Cas landed a bit off outside a rundown house on the outskirts of town. He sensed Dean inside, along with another man, probably Sam, and a woman, and... Oh no... A demon! They weren't fighting, that was good. The people inside huddled together, and he could hear the buzz of their voices, Dean's gruff, low timbre, Sam's higher pitched one. A woman, squealing in distress. "They're coming". Uriel landed next to him. "Why the hurry, Castiël? Need to see your pets?" Cas threw him a withering look, but Uriël seemed unimpressed. "Well. Let's get our sister out, so we can kill her." Disgusted with Uriël, Cas threw his Grace agains the locked door, rattling it a bit before blowing it wide open. He stepped up, going inside before Uriël. As soon as he did, his blue eyes found Dean's green ones. Was it imagination, or did those beautiful green orbs radiate relief? Cas didn't dare believe it. Tearing his eyes loose, he noticed the demon to Dean's right. It was the same one he had seen in Sam's presence when he had left Dean at the motel, that night Cas had to take Dean back in time. This puzzled him. Why would she be here?

As soon as Anna shouted that they were coming, Dean felt his blood turn to ice. He did not feel ready to face Alastair again. Taking control, he directed Anna to the relative safety of the backroom, and grabbed a gun from his duffel. Once Sammy, Ruby and him were done bickering about the missing demon killing knife, he steeled himself for the confrontation. The door rattled, then blew wide open, making him, Sam and Ruby shy away from the cold gust of wind. Apprehensive, they all stared at the open door, waiting for Hell to waltz in. When he thought he could hear wings, Dean didn't dare believe it, but next thing he knew, a familiar figure in a trenchcoat stepped through the door. Dean felt a bit of weight lifted of his shoulders. His eyes found Castiël's cerulean ones, and he just couldn't believe how his heart felt lighter. It also felt like it grew two sizes and thumped noticably loud. ' _Castiël. Oh god, am I ever glad to see you. You're a much better sight than Alastair. Wait? What? Shut up Winchester. Let's just hope he can help._ ' When Uriël came trudging in, some of that hope got dashed. "Please tell me you are here to help. We've been having demon issues all day." Uriël huffed slightly. "I can see that. Care to explain why you have that stain in the room?" he sneered, putting emphasis on 'stain'. Dean was taken aback by the venom in his dark voice. Quickly he looked from Ruby to Sam, not sure how and if he could explain. "We're here for Anna," Castiël explained, his gravelly voice making a shiver run up Dean's spine. His eyes seemed to once again talk to Dean, who couldn't understand the message. "Here fore her like... Here for her?" Dean felt compelled to ask, his own eyes trying to beg Castiël to say yes. "Stop talking." Uriël snapped rudely. "Give her to us." Uncomfortable silence followed these words. Dean was fighting to stay put, his every fiber screaming: "Get out! Run with Sammy and the girls." Finally Sam broke the silence. "Are you gonna help her?" he asked, his voice hoarse with emotion. To Deans utter surprise it was Castiël who spoke. Who simply said "No." His voice betraying no emotions. "She has to die." Dean couldn't believe that those words could tumble from those pink lips without emotion. Knowing Castiël often spoke to him with his eyes, Dean tried to see if he could see anything in those beautiful, blue eyes, but all he saw was a blue wall, void of emotions, like he had locked his emotions away.

Cas felt his heart thump painfully when he heard the plea for help in Dean's voice, saw it in those veridian eyes. When Uriël looked at the demon, she flicked her eyes black, but Cas felt that she wasn't there to cause trouble. Yet Uriël seemed out to fight, his venomous words trying to get a reaction from the humans, or the demon. Thankfully, they were so shocked by his agressive tone, they seemed uninclined to. To defuse the situation, before Uriël got his fight, Cas decided to tell them why they were there. Dean's green eyes begged him to be there for the rescue, when he asked them if they were there for her, as in help her. ' _Oh my love... I wish I could tell you yes, we are here to help her. We could say that, but I will not lie to you. You, of all people, deserve my honesty._ ' Cas felt his heart bleed for the beautiful man, who silently begged him for help, and for his old captain. She only wanted to be free. Uriël was less empathic, and he snapped orders at the group, as if they were mere fledgelings, fresh in bootcamp. Cas pushed all feeling away, making him an autamaton, devoid of any feeling. Sam had the guts to stand up to Uriël and ask him if they would help. Before Uriël could get nasty about it, Cas decided to step in and answer. He could see Dean gasp, his eyes flicking to Cas', but Cas had put on his mask of emotionless angelic purpose, and he didn't want to break his role.

Dean stared at the angel in the trenchcoat, not believing that he could be so cold. He heard Sam ask, incredulously: "You want Anna? Why?" When Uriël stepped forward threateningly, grumbling "Out of the way." Dean felt his protective side flare up. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. I know she's wiretapping your Angelchat or something, but that's no reason to gank her." He tried turning it into a joke, his mouth curling up into half a smile. Uriël smiled uncincerely. "Don't worry... I'll kill her gentle." That did it. Any respect he might have had, was gone. "You're some heartless son's of bitches, you know that?" Again Castiël surprised him by answering. "As a matter of fact, we are. And?" Dean felt his heart freeze at those words, but Sam answered in his place. "And?! Anna is an innocent girl..." Castiël shook his head slightly, a smidgen of feeling creeping into his cerulean eyes. "She is far from innocent." Dean looked at Sam uncertainly. Had they read the girl so wrong? Somehow, Dean couldn't find his voice to challenge the darkhaired angel. Luckily Sam didn't have that problem. "What's that supposed to mean?" he asked, less agressively than Dean normally would have. Uriël took up the challenge. "It means... She is even worse than this abomination you've been screwing. Now give. Us. The girl" he almost growled the last sentence. Dean felt his rebellious Nature wake up. Castiël seemed to disagree with the tone Uriël used, and that stiffened Dean's back. His jaw hardend and his eyes narrowed ever so slightly. He looked at his brother, seeing his own thoughts flicker over Sam's cute face. No way in Hell they would they hand her over. Sam slightly tilted his head, indicating Dean was cleared to tell them. He nodded ever so lightly, sass mode already on. "Sorry. Get yourselves another. Try J-date." he said, lips curling sarcasticly. "Who's gonna stop us?" Uriël asked depreciatingly. "You two? Or this demon whore?" He suddenly grasped Ruby and threw her around, right into a glass panel door. Within seconds he was at her, lifting her up by the chin, hand cupped and posed to grab her face. Sam looked at Castiël imploringly, to let him stop it, but Castiël glared at him, as if he was weighing his options how to get past Sam. Dean couldn't let this heartless dick angel just smite Ruby for being there. She hadn't posed a threat, wasn't doing anything but help out. He grabbed a crowbar and tried to hit the angel over the head with it. Uriël somehow noticed him, and turned around to grab the crowbar. Dean tried to punch him, but he grabbed Dean's fist. He wrestled it away from him and he hit Dean. Dean felt his head swim. From the corner of his eye, he saw Castiël advance on Sam, who pleaded with the angel. "Cas, stop, please..." Dean vaguely wondered if the angel would notice the abbreviation. He had started doing that when he discussed the angel with Sam. It seemed to fit him better than his full name. Cas raised his two fingers towards Sam's head. ' _Awe no. That's how he knocked Bobby out in the barn that first time._ ' And sure enough, Sam's 6'4" body just crumpled and hit the floor like a tree, while Cas kept going towards the door of the backroom. Uriël hit Dean again with relish. "I've been waiting for this." he gloatingly told him, as he hit him again and again. Dean felt desperate. He couldn't get up, Ruby was out for the count and Sam wasn't much better. He couldn't safe Anna. She was going to die. Castiël had reached the door, his hand stretched for the handle, when suddenly a white light cracked, like lightning. The angels both arched their backs, as if they were in agony, the flashing light illuminating the scene, throwing sharp shadows of their bodies, wings and all. Then the angels were gone, blown away.

Cas had so much trouble keeping his emotions in check. He wanted to joint Dean and his little brother in the protection of Anna, but he couldn't be disobedient to Michael. He shoved the feelings down more. ' _Distance, Castiël... Don't get involved. Be cold, calculating. Emotions are not allowed._ ' When Uriël stepped up to the brothers threateningly, Cas forced himself to stay in his place, to keep his distance. When Dean challanged Uriël, turning the threat on himself, Cas felt proud and apprehensive. _'Don't... Don't... Heartless if need be._ ' His treacherous heart defied him and thumped painfully, as Dean's face hardened and he said that exact word: heartless. It was the chance Cas had needed. If he acted on that cue, he might be able to keep that distance, to not get lost in emotions. The hurt in Dean's eyes at his remark, made Cas' heart hurt, but he had to continue. If anyone in Heaven would know how much Cas was actually feeling already, he would be in more trouble than Anna was. Sam seemed to notice that Dean was speechless, and intervened. "... Anna's an innocent girl." Cas heard him say. ' _Poor boy, you do not know the half of it. Girl indeed..._ ' Cas couldn't help it. A trace of pity surfaced. They deserved to know. Not sure he was allowed to tell them the truth, Cas decided to treat lightly, but Uriël stomped on even that tiny hint. The brothers used that wordless communication, that Cas had noticed before, and he admired it. They knew eachother to the bone. Sam tilted his head, and Dean nodded. His eyes flickered maliciously, a mood Cas had not yet seen in them, and he got worried. Who knew what reckless thing Dean might do. When Dean delivered his answer, Cas inwardly closed his eyes. This was going to go wrong, fast. He kept his eyes locked on Dean's face and his stomach flipped when Dean's mouth curled sarcasticly. _'Oh myyyy. Why did he do that? Now I won't be able to forget that..._ ' Cas groaned to himself. Uriël clearly had enough, and Cas took his cue from him. As he was trying to smite the demon, Cas decided to get this whole mess over with, and stepped up to Sam, who was pleading him to stop. ' _I can't, Sam. I'm sorry. I just need Anna, and then we'll be gone and you and Dean will be safe form both Heaven and Hell._ ' He tapped Sam on the head, and put him to sleep. Stretching his hand towards the doorhandle, Cas tried to ignore Uriël, who was hitting his love. Half his being was fighting to get control, to go and safe Dean. The other half scolded him that Dean was used to injuries, and to get a move on. Cas grabbed the doorhandle and felt a sudden tugging sensation. ' _A banishing spell. Bloodsigil!_ ' his brain screamed at him, just before the spell cast him to his corner.


	11. Chapter 11

Cas found himself in his favorite part of Heaven, the beautiful Tuesday afternoon of an autistic man, who drowned in the bathtub at age 40. ' _How? How did they know that sigil? It's not in any lorebooks. We took care that it didn't get in._ ' He started going through the scene in his head, bit by bit. Mostly to find if there were any clues as to how the brothers had gotten their hands on the knowledge of the bloodsigil, but also to revisit every look on Dean's face. He couldn't resist. That sarcastic curl to his mouth had made Cas almost moan out loud, and he really wanted to go back and kiss those pink lips until Dean remembered him, and their time in Limbo. It already seemed so long ago. Cas felt his heart ache for those stolen moments as he watched the autistic man fly his kite, not really seeing him. Cas remembered every moment with Dean, relishing in the sweet bond they built in Limbo. He remembered Dean just after he had crawled out of his grave, how he had ducked from the noise Cas' real voice made to his fragile ears. How he had inspected himself in the mirror. For some reason Cas couldn't let go of the image of him lifting up his shirt to see if he had any other marks on him. It made Cas want to go back and do unspeakably human things to Dean. Like kiss that sexy chest... ' _Whoa! Castiël! What are you thinking? Have you lost your senses?_ ' Yet, Cas couldn't help wanting to go back, make Dean remember everything, so they could do such things. He remembered the last kiss they shared in Limbo, how it had been so much more than a kiss. It was almost an invitation to do those things. It had made Cas feel such a need to put his hands under Dean's shirt and... Cas halted his thoughts again. ' _This is not helping, Cas. Get your... Hang on... Cas... Sam called me Cas... Is that a human thing to do? Shorten one's name like that? I must find out!_ ' He spread his black wings and flew back to Earth, to find answers. First stop: the Winchesters. He'd stay invisible and just listen for a bit.

Dean sat on his motelbed, beer in hand. "Ya know, Sam, I really don't like angels. And I really wanna know what they meant by "she is far from innocent." That dick Uriël was way too happy to end her. Calling her worse than demons..." Sam sat on his own bed and pulled his slender fingers through his hair. "Yeah, me too. What bothers me most is the way Cas said she has to die... So casual, heartless." Dean felt his own heart squeeze together at the mention of the blue eyed angel. It also reminded him of something. "Why did you call him Cas?" Sam looked surprised. "You do." He thought about that. "Yeah, not to his face... I'm not sure angels appreciate having their name shortened." Sam looked a bit shocked. "Then why do you do it?" Dean shrugged. "I don't know, really. It just seems to suit him." Sam raised an eyebrow. "Really? Huh... Well, I'm just glad he either didn't notice, or didn't care. I'm turning in. Night!" He kicked off his boots and crawled under the sheets. Dean watched him, pondering his last remark on the angel's name. ' _Why do I do it? I just never think of him as Castiël. He's Cas._ ' As if bidden by the thought of his name, the image of the blue eyed angel popped up in Dean's mind. Dean lay back on his bed, letting those moments with the angel pass through his head. His thoughts kept going to that one moment, with the rising of Samhain, that Cas had stepped into his personal space. His oceanblue eyes looking deep into his own, those pink lips mere inches from his. He still felt that if he had just leaned in, kissed him, Cas would have kissed him back. The thought disturbingly wasn't as repulsive as Dean thought it would be. He found his thoughts wandering, going to places he never thought he would go. Like how it would be to kiss Cas, put his hands under that trenchcoat and shuck it off, kissing that slender neck... Dean abruplty stopped his thinking. ' _Geez Dean! What, you're gay now?_ ' He huffed and resolutely turned on his side to sleep. In his dreams he kissed Cas, holding him desperately, as if he would disappear when he'd let him go. Cas kissed him back just as desperately.

Cas watched as Dean popped his beer and sat down on his bed. He didn't like the pondering look in those green eyes. Not sure if he should read Dean's mind, Cas hovered at the door. Dean looked at his brother. "Ya know, Sam, I really don't like angels." Cas felt as if his heart was ripped out, yet he thought he deserved it. His remarks had been cruel and uncaring, and to a certain degree uncalled for. He heard his name, and woke from his reverie. "Why did you call him Cas?" Cas felt his heart skip as Dean said it. ' _He used_ _his_ _name for me! Does that mean..._ ' Hope filled Cas. "You do." "Yeah, not to his face... I'm not sure angels appreciate having their name shortened." Cas smiled. Dean had pretty good instincts. Most angels wouldn't, but then again, most angels didn't fall in love. "Then why do you do it?" Sam worded the burning question for Cas, and Cas was aching to hear the answer to it. "I don't know, really. It just seems to suit him." Cas felt crestfallen. Dean didn't remember... But some vestige of those memories was there... Otherwise Dean wouldn't think it suited Cas. He had to think that! Detatched, Cas watched Sam crawl into bed. He looked at Dean, silently wondering what Dean was thinking now. The discussion about his name had quenched all reserves on eavesdropping in his thoughts, and Cas tuned in to Dean's thought frequency. Cas heard Dean's thoughts in the gruff voice of Dean. ' _Why do I do it? I just never think of him as Castiël. He's Cas.'_ An image floated up. Cas recognised it. It was him, very close up. Dean's thoughts rang out again. _'Why is this moment so hot? I really,_ _really_ _wanted to kiss him. All I had to do was lean in... He might have kissed me back. It sure looked like he would kiss me back. God, how deranged am I, thinking about kissing an angel... And what an angel. He just looks adorable, with that ruffled dark hair... Those cute, pink lips. I bet they taste great... And whenever he says a word starting with an 'h', the righthand corner turns up, ever so slightly. I'd kiss that corner. And then put my hands under that silly trenchcoat, see if he is lanky, or muscular. I think a bit of both. He looks in shape... Wonder what it would be like to shuck that coat off, see him in just his dress shirt. Open a button or two. His tie is loose enough. I could kiss his neck. I'd_ _love_ _to kiss that neck..._ ' The thoughts halted abruplty. An abashed anger flooded Dean's awareness. Cas felt like he was spying, but the thoughts were so close to his own, that he couldn't stop. The anger surprised him though. The next thought snapped, like a cornered animal. ' _Geez Dean! What, you're gay now?_ ' The wandering thoughts were decidedly pushed down, and Dean didn't allow them out again. ' _Sleep, Winchester. Tomorrow you're picking up Pamela. You'll need your wits about you, with that flirt!_ ' A fond feeling rose with that thought. Cas was surprised. ' _He_ _likes_ _this Pamela._ ' Drowsy thoughts started forming, and sleep overtook Dean. Cas smiled fondly. He looked so cute with his long lashes painting cresents on his freckles cheeks. A naughty thought popped up in Cas' head. He could dreamwalk in his love's sleep. His judgement clouded by his feelings after those arousing thoughts he'd heard, Cas gave in. He found Dean standing in that dingy motelroom, looking around. "Dean..." he called out. Relief poured off Dean in waves. "Cas..." Dean crossed the room in two strides and grabbed him by the shoulders. "Don't leave, Cas, please." His plea was desperate, and it hit Cas right in the heart. "Never, love. Never." Dean let out a strangled noise and pulled him into a kiss, holding him tightly, scared he might vanish. Cas clung on just as desperately, knowing this would end as soon as Dean woke up.


	12. Chapter 12

Dean woke to the sound of chuckling. "Morning, Dean! Who were you dreaming about? Those were some happy noises..." Dean wiped at his mouth and grumbled. "Do you mind?" He felt a bit ashamed that he had semi erotic dreams about a guy, an angel at that. Sam chuckled more. "No, I don't mind. I'm happy that you didn't have another nightmare. I really prefer hearing you moan in lust than in terror." Dean felt his face burn like the Fires of Hell. "Shuddup." He swung his legs down and quickly made his way to the bathroom. Once in there, he sank to the floor. ' _Geez... I don't know how it happened, but I haven't stopped dreaming about Cas all night. And in each dream, we ended up making out. I'm definitely going to Hell... Again._ ' To his shame, he kept revisiting those dreams. It had felt so good. Especially the one where they stood in a dark place, where the only light seemed to come from Cas. It was blueish and it was most intense around the hand on Dean's right shoulder. Cas said something about leaving, and Dean felt he couldn't let him go. As if Cas would disappear forever, if he left. Cas had looked at him with those cerulean eyes and promised he'd be back. Dean had grabbed him and they had kissed, passionately. The dream had dissolved and turned into a other, but this one had left an impression. Just like the one he had just woken up from. Somehow he and Cas were lying in a field, and they had been kissing. For whatever reason, the moans of the angel when Dean had bitten his lower lip, had stuck in Dean's head. Dean grabbed his hair, when he felt what those memories did to him. ' _I'm so screwed!_ ' He got up and splashed his burning cheeks with icy water. He had a psychic to get, he couldn't dwell on dreams, not even on hot dreams about cute angels.

Cas noticed Dean was waking up. The sound of chuckling permeated the hazy dream where he and Dean were lying in a field, just kissing. Dean had his hand under the trenchcoat and lazily rubbed Cas' back. His fingers accidently grazed the point where Cas' wings protruded from his shoulders. ' _My word... That feels so nice._ ' Cas nearly purred. Dean caught his lip between his teeth. "Ah... D- Dean." Dean hummed against his mouth. Cas felt his face grow hot. He wanted this to go on forever. "Dean... I...I.. Mmmm!" Dean caught his mouth and hummed more. "Cas... This feels sooo good. Hmmm." The chuckling grew louder, and Cas recognised Sam's voice. "Dean... Deeeeaaaannn. Wake up. God, man... You are knocked out... Wonder what foxy lady you're having fun with." More chuckles. Cas felt an unknown anger rise in his chest. He wanted to yell at Sam that he wasn't a 'foxy lady'. He caught himself just in time and slipped out of the dream, before Dean really woke up. With regret Cas flew up to Heaven, to talk with Uriël. They needed to concentrate on their mission, not fawn over a beautiful guy with green eyes... No. He needed to concentrate...

Dean had driven Pamela home. After the bombshell that Anna had dropped, he wasn't surprised she had wanted to get the Hell out of Dodge. ' _Sooo, Anna's an angel too. I wonder if the other angels know. She's their sister... Surely they won't gank her now..._ ' Dean drummed his fingers on the steeringwheel. ' _On the other hand... That dick, Uriël, said she was worse than Ruby... What has she done? Is it just that she chose to fall? Seriously? Is that such a crime?_ ' Dean shook his head. ' _Freaking angels... If they take those rules so seriously, I'm royally screwed. I'm 100% sure that a human, wanting to make out with an angel is right against their moral code. Thank god that it was just in my dreams._ ' The image of Cas, lying in his arms, pink lips swollen, eyes half hooded and dark blue with lust, popped into his mind. He cursed. He didn't need that distraction! What he needed was a battleplan. His foot pressed harder on the accelerator. He needed Sam, to help make it.

Cas sighed. He needed to confer with Uriël and he didn't want to. Lately, Uriël's presence had begun to annoy him. He knew that the human race wasn't very popular amongst the angels, but the blatant disrespect and disdain Uriël showed, was making Cas feel unnerved. It bordered on hatred. Uriël was very close to becoming the next Lucifer... "Castiël... Could you spare time away from your pets?" the dark voice of Uriël interupted Cas' thoughts. Narrowing his eyes, Cas turned towards his sibling. "Uriël. I tried to get information about the whereabouts of our sister. And if she might have found her Grace yet." Uriël chuckled without real mirth. "She hasn't. I'm sure of that. Now, I take it your favorite pets haven't told you where they are stowing Anna." Cas turned his head away from Uriël. He just couldn't look at the other angel without wanting to punch him. "If you mean the Winchesters, no, they have not. And time is starting to run out. If they find out about who she really is, they will aid her in her search for her Grace. I just know they will." Uriël made a non-committal noise in the back of his throat. "I have an idea, but I need your permission to dreamwalk in the eldest Winchester's dreams." Cas felt the same irrational anger rise in his chest again. He didn't want Uriël doing that, but he also knew that if he declined, Uriël would want to know why. He couldn't explain it, except that he felt that Dean was his, and no-one should be dreamwalking in the dreams of his Dean... "Very well, but remember that we are not to harm either Winchester." It surprised him that he could say it without emotion.


	13. Chapter 13

Dean walked slowly through the rundown room. He felt something was wrong, but couldn't quite put his finger on it. He shucked his coat on better and a dark voice sarcastically said: "Look at that. So cute when monkies wear clothes." Dean stopped dead in front of the darkskinned angel and looked around. Not another soul in sight, thing were just dead quiet. That explained his uneasy feeling. "I'm dreaming, aren't I?" he asked. ' _Well, at least sleeping with Anna cured my dreaming of Cas. I really hope I'm not going to make out with_ _him_ _..._ ' Dean bitterly thought. "It's the only way we can chat." Uriël said. "Since you're hiding like.. cowards." Dean's dislike of this angel grew with every word he uttered. "Don't normally see you off leash. Where's your boss?" he asked, relaying the sarcasm. "Castiël?" Uriël turned his eyes up in a mocking way and tipped his tongue against his pearly white teeth. "He's ah... He's not here. You see... He has this weakness..." Uriël locked his eyes onto Dean's. "He likes you." Dean felt his heart stop for a second, then thump loudly. ' _Why would I care?_ ' Uriël had a smug little smile on his face and the tone of his voice was mocking. Dean felt his anger at the angel rise and his face hardened. This jerk was really starting to get on his nerves. Uriël seemed to sense he shouldn't push his luck. "Time's up boy. We want the girl." he said, with a hint of steel behind his demand. Dean's thoughts raced. ' _Mustn't let on that we failed in finding her Grace. Better bluf. Keep your poker-face on, Winchester._ ' He was sure his face didn't move a muscle. "Wouldn't try that if I were you. See, she got her Grace back. Fullblown angel now." He made sure he looked smug while saying that. ' _It's all in the delivery.'_ he thought, only to see Uriël smirk. The angel fished around under his shirt. "That would be a neat trick, considering..." He pulled out a chain with a small phial on it. The phial glowed blueish light, like the light in his dream about him and Cas, in the darkened room. "... I have her Grace right here." Uriël grinned.

Dean's eyes widened. ' _That son of a bitch! Why wouldn't he just give that back? Now I know why he doesn't have Cas with him. I'm sure Cas doesn't know he has that. He would order Uriël to give it back._ ' The content of the phial swirled restless. "We can't have Hell get their hooks into her." Uriël said, still that note of sarcasm in his voice. "Well, why don't you give her back her angeljuice?" Dean asked, trying to contain his anger. "She committed a serious crime." the angel said, all humour gone. "What? Thinking for herself?" Dean snapped, his temper getting the better of him. "This is our business, not yours. She's not even human, not technically." Uriël obviously thought that that would shut him up. Dean really wanted to hit him, but instead he sarcastically hinted that he really liked to thwart the angels. When Uriël stepped up real close, circling him, he fought to stand still, not to let on how much he detested the darkskinned angel. It was almost as if Uriël sniffed at him, like a dog. "...You cut yourself a slice of angelfood cake! Didn't ya?" Uriël chuckled. "Huh? You did!" Dean worried his lower lip with his teeth, while the angel chuckled louder. Somehow he seemed to enjoy this too much. ' _I thought he'd be pissed.'_ Dean thought, and he felt his defenses spring up. "What do you care?" he asked, sarcasm colouring his voice. "You're junkless down there, right? Like a Kendoll?" Instead of getting angry, Uriël just chuckled and walked away from him. "Well, it's your last chance." he offered. "Give us the girl or..." "Or what?" Dean interjected. "Oh, you're gonna toss me back in the hole?" He cocked his head. "You're bluffing." Uriël bit his lips. "Try me." Dean and Uriël just stared at eachother, as if the first to speak would lose. "It's a whole lot bigger than the plans we got for you, Dean." the angel said. "You can be replaced." Dean didn't believe a word he said. ' _They wouldn't have sent Cas to get me out of the pit, if there were other options. This round of poker just got very interesting._ ' He licked his lips and pretended to weigh his options. "What the hell..." he said, spreading his arms in a 'let's-do-this' gesture. "Go ahead and do it." He braced himself a little as Uriël stepped closer again, just on the off chance he had been wrong. "You're just crazy enough to go, aren't you?" Uriël softly said. Dean didn't look at him at first, afraid his triumph would show in his eyes. "What can I say? I don't break easy." Uriël started walking again, and Dean kept his eyes on him until he walked behind him, out of his sight. "Oh yes... You do... You just gotta know where to apply the right preassure." Uriël softly said, his words as much a threat as his tone. Dean swallowed hard. He did not like where this was going. "You see, Dean... Either you give us the girl, or... we take your brother. We shall see if you are still going to defend her, when we disintegrate your sibling." The angel had dropped his voice to a barely audible whisper. "Your choice, Dean... I suggest you choose swiftly." Dean closed his eyes in pain. ' _Those winged dicks! They know I can't let Sammy die. Shit... Well, glad we thought up a battleplan. I just hope it works._ ' He opened his eyes. "You asshat. We'll be in this barn tomorrow at noon. Just... Just promise me you won't kill her." Uriël chuckled, obviously happy with his win. "Sorry, Dean. We have our orders." Dean bit his lip and closed his eyes. When he opened them again, he was in his bed. He sat up and let out a shaky sigh. "Sam..."


	14. Chapter 14

Cas pulled the doors open with his Grace, and stepped in with Uriël on his tail. Sam looked surprised, stepping in front of Anna defensively. Dean however looked guarded and didn't look at them directly. Cas felt sorry for them. He wished this could have ended differently. "Hello, Anna. It's good to see you." he said, trying to show his regret. "How? How'd you find us?" Sam demanded. Cas felt his heart ache. Apparently Dean had not told him about his dream. He looked at Dean with pity. He felt regret that he wasn't the one that had invaded Dean's dream to get this information, but he hadn't been sure he could stay focussed. The last dreamwalk had been very different, and Cas didn't want to end up there. It was distracting and counterproductive. Dean understood his look for once and he cast his green eyes down in shame. Sam and Anna followed Cas' gaze towards Dean. They looked shocked and Cas felt his regret double and he lowered his eyes too. This was definitely not what he had wanted. When he heard Dean say a soft "I'm sorry..." he had to fight not to grab them all and fly off. But he had his orders, and disobeying them was verging on suïcide. "Why?" Sam demanded, utterly baffled at his brother's conduct. Dean didn't say anything, his eyes staring at Anna. Anna turned to glare at Cas and Uriël, gathering all she needed to know from that one look. "Because they gave him a choice..." she said, turning to Sam. "...They either kill me, or kill you." Her voice dripped venom, and Cas couldn't look up at her, utterly ashamed that they had stooped this low. "I know how their minds work." That stung even more. ' _She doesn't count herself as one of us anymore..._ ' Cas thought miserably and he looked up at her, his eyes full of regret. She looked back, venom seeping out of her stance, her eyes, and then she turned towards Dean, putting a gentle hand on his arm. She brought her head closer to his and kissed him, regret pouring off the both of them. Cas felt the anger rise up again,and suddenly he understood. ' _I am jealous!'_ He couldn't tear his eyes off the two. When the actuall kiss ended, they kept standing with their foreheads and noses touching. "You did the best you could." Anna said, slowly backing away. "I forgive you..." Cas just couldn't watch any longer. The jealousy and shame fought for control within him, and he lowered his eyes again. Anna turned towards them and took a few steps, her stance broadening with each one. "Okay, no more tricks..." Cas pushed down his feelings and looked up at her. "... No more running." Behind her, Dean looked more miserable with each word she said. She took a deep breath. "... I'm ready." Keeping his jealousy in check, Cas found he should express his regret.. "I'm sorry." He said it, but it came out all wrong. Repressing his shame and jealousy, also kept all other emotions from showing on his face, or sounding in his voice. He genually was sorry. Anna looked doubtful. "No. You're not. Not really. You don't know the feeling." she said with certainty. ' _Feelings? I have had nothing but those, since I met Dean. I_ _am_ _sorry, Anna. I wish you could believe me._ ' Cas knew he couldn't voice those thoughts, so he tried a different approach. "Still we have a history. It's just..." "Orders are orders." Anna interjected. "I know. Just make it quick."

Inside Cas, his feelings tumbled around eachother. He wanted to get out. Take Anna, Sam and especially Dean, and fly off, run someplace safe. Yet he knew there was no such place. Heaven would track them down. Besides Anna did break the law, she should be punished... But so harshly? He saw Dean behind Anna, closing his eyes in misery. It stung Cas to know that he was partially responsible for that. Sam glared at them, his disappointment obvious. Suddenly demons appeared behind the little group of friends. "Don't you touch a hair on that poor girl's head." one said. The humans and Anna swivvled around in shock. The demon that had been there last time Cas had met the Winchesters, was barely standing, blood soaking her clothes around her belly. It was obvious that she wasn't there voluntairily. ' _Oh my. This just got ugly real fast. We can't let them get Anna. Especially without her Grace. She's defenseless!_ ' Dean, Sam and Anna stepped away real fast, eager to not stand between the forces of Heaven and Hell. The female demon was shoved aside too, and she crawled away, seeking shelter behind some bales of hay. Uriël stepped up to the demons, asking them how they dared to show up. The leader looked unimpressed and answered Uriël's insult with one of his own. Cas felt he should step in. After all, he outranked Uriël. His threats didn't do much better than Uriël's insult and before long Uriël lunged at a demon, who made a move towards the humans. In a glance Cas saw a glowing light pop out of Uriël's shirt. It swung to and fro as Uriël fought. Cas didn't get much time to wonder at it. He got caught in a fight with the demon leader. Hitting the thing didn't do much good, so he put his hand on the demon's head and tried to smite him. Much to Cas' surprise, it didn't even make it flinch. "Sorry kiddo.." it hissed. "... Why don't you go run to Daddy." Fear gripped Cas as the demon broke his hold and hit him hard on the jaw. It stradled on top of him and growled an incantation. And again. ' _This is it. I am going to die... I'm sorry, Dean. I wish we could have been together more, longer. I shouldn't have let you crawl out alone... I'm sorry. I'm sorry I can't protect you anymore._ ' As the demon triumphantly yelled out the incantation once more, Dean hit it over the head with a crowbar. The demon dropped Cas and turned on him. "Dean, Dean, Dean... I am so disappointed in you. You showed so much promise!" Cas lay on the floor, gasping for air, when he suddenly recognised the demon. It was the one that had stood leaning against the wall in Hell. The thing made a gesture with it's hand and Sam and Dean sank to their knees, struggling to breathe. ' _NO! I'm not strong enough to stop him, Dean... Dean! I'm sorry!_ ' Suddenly, Anna ripped the chain off Uriël's neck and smashed it on the floor. The contents formed a cloud that any angel would recognise. Grace. Stunned, Cas looked on. It rose up and slid into Anna's mouth. ' _That was_ _her_ _Grace? Why would Uriël carry that around with him?_ ' Suddenly Cas remembered the times Uriël had smiled when Cas hinted that Anna might find her Grace, and he felt his disgust at the angel grow even more. The Grace glowed inside Anna's body and she yelled: "Shut your eyes! Shut your eeeeeeyyeessss!" The force of the Grace reconnecting with Anna obliterated the demons, except the one cowering behind the bales of hay, and the humans rolled themselves into a ball, not to get hurt. Cas looked at the wonder of a fallen angel being restored and couldn't help but feel grateful. Now they couldn't kill her. They had to take her alive to Heaven, so she could be tried in court. Anna disappeared, probably halfway around the globe, and only Uriël, Cas and the Winchesters remained.


	15. Chapter 15

**A. N. First of all: I'm soooooo sorry for being absent. I got stuck, not sure wether to totally follow Canon, or start veering off. You'll see what I decided! Secondly: I got word that the chapters were a bit blocky, so I'm trying to adapt my writing style a bit. I hope this will work on y'all. Hugs from Holland.**

Dean paced the barn. He threw Sam a look, and his baby brother smiled reassuringly. "We know our parts, De. Don't worry. We'll make it." Dean smiled sweetly at Sam's use of his old nickname. He only used that when he was either worn out, or scared silly. Anna looked scared too, but nodded at Sam's words. "He's right, Dean. I'm glad you told us everything." Dean grimaced. "Yeah, I just wanna know why that prick, Uriël, kept your Grace with him like that." Anna huffed. "Knowing him? Probably to keep me from getting it. That way the hunt would be easy, and he would get to kill me. If I have my Grace, they have to take me to court in Heaven. If I don't have it, I'm fair game." Dean felt nauseous. "You angels have some screwed-up rules." Sam threw him a halfhearted bitchface for the sass, but Anna smiled ruefully. "I know. More reason not to want to be one. Frankly I'm surprised that Uriël was so mild about our... being together. He is quite the hardcore traditionalist." Sam blinked. Dean had told him about sleeping with Anna last night, but he was still a bit thrown by it. "Maybe..." he offered. "Maybe he thought you less than an angel. Not human, technically, but no angel either." Dean smiled at his smart little brother. "You could be right, Sammy. But who cares. The dick is still going to show, with or without Castiël, and I hope Ruby will hold up her end of the deal." He still felt uneasy about that part. She could just as easy turn on them. "Don't worry, she will. She kept Anna safe, didn't she?" Dean gave a non-committal grunt. Suddenly Anna straightened. "They're here. I can feel them. Castiël and Uriël." she whispered. "Okay, let's play our roles." Dean whispered back.

The doors to the barn swung open and Cas and Uriël stepped in. ' _Oh shit. I can't look at Cas. He'll read me, like he did when we first met._ ' Dean thought desperately, and looked away from those alluring, cerulean depths. When Cas spoke to Anna in that gravelly voice, Dean felt his stomach lurge. ' _Geez. I thought I was done with this. I thought sleeping with Anna had gotten rid of these urges. Why am I still feeling like a schoolgirl?_ ' Sam played his part beautifully. The right amount of anger and wonder in his voice. Dean looked at the angels and saw pity in Cas' eyes. Quickly, before his eyes gave away too much, Dean looked down, his stance lying that he was ashamed. "Dean?!" he heard Sam ask, and he felt so proud of him. It was almost as if Sam was accusing him. "I'm sorry." Dean said low, looking at Sam, then Anna. "Why?" Sam demanded. Dean looked at him and then turned away. Time for Anna to step in. ' _Well, look at us. We should be on Broadway, or in a movie. Perfect little thespians._ ' Dean thought ironically.

He felt Anna's regret as she kissed him, and he felt regret too, but not about Anna. He felt regret that it wasn't another angel he was kissing. ' _For the love of... Keep your head on straight, Winchester!_ ' he scolded himself. Ruby should pop up with her 'friends' any minute now, and Dean really didn't want to stand between those guys and the angels. He glanced at Sam, worried that Ruby had stood them up. Sam wasn't looking much more confident. Their time was running out. He heard Cas say that he was sorry, but his voice was devoid of any emotions. Anna bantered with Cas, to stall for time. Cas's oceanblue eyes looked empty. Nothing there. Dean closed his eyes in pain, remembering how that voice had sounded husky with longing, how those eyes had been dark blue and hooded with lust. If they were going to kill Anna, because Ruby had bailed, he would keep those dream memories to remind him of Cas, because he would never, ever want to deal with the real one again. When the voice of Alastair sounded through the barn, Dean felt a wave of relief. They might still make it. He turned to see how much back up that son of a bitch had brought.


	16. Chapter 16

Only two,and Ruby, who looked distinctly worse for wear. A large bloodstain coloured her shirt on the abdomen, and she could barely stand. ' _Holy Hell! Alastair tortured her! We hadn't counted on that._ ' When Uriël moved, Dean pulled Sam and Anna out of the way. This was one that he wanted to sit out. When Cas delivered his threat to Alastair, Dean felt genuine fear. ' _Lay them to waste? Would that mean the entire barn gets reduced to ashes? Would Cas care about the collateral damage? I know Uriël won't..._ ' Alastair glared at Cas and Dean felt apprehensive. If the demon bailed, they were screwed, if he won, likewise. ' _Come on, Cas. We're counting on you to pull through._ ' One of the demons moved towards Anna, and Uriël gladly took his cue. He slammed the demon into a post. His companion ran to his aid, and got thrown down. Dean glanced at Cas and Alastair. Cas punched the demon, left, right and an uppercut. Dean was impressed. Alastair was one of the toughest in Hell. He could take a punch like it was a butterfly sitting on his cheek, but Cas could have him. Cas placed his hand on top of Alastair's head. ' _Cas, what are you doing? He'll clock you one!_ ' Dean thought alarmed, but Alastair seemed to wait for something .

When it didn't come, Cas looked confused and alarmed, Alastair smug. "Sorry kiddo... Why don't you go run to Daddy." he sneered at the angel, and broke Cas' hold on him. He punched him hard on the chin, sending Cas flying backwards. In a blink Alastair was at him, grabbing his lapels and saying: "Potestas inferna, mi confirma." Dean saw the angel's blue eyes widen at the incantation. He was scared. Dean heard Sam translate the Latin in a whisper : "the power of Hell strengthens me..." and Dean felt fear grab him. That spelt trouble for Cas. Alastair said it again, grabbing Cas' throat and shaking him slightly. Dean looked at the angel, his ruffled hair, his scared blue eyes and the slightly opened pink lips, and he knew he had to do something. He couldn't let Alastair kill Cas. Not just for their plans, but Dean knew that he couldn't live with himself if he didn't at least try and save Cas. He grabbed a crowbar and swung it at Alastair, just before he finished the incantation for the third time. It hit it's mark and Alastair let go of Cas, who fell flat on the floor. "Dean, Dean, Dean..." Alastair said, and Dean gulped. He remembered that tone of voice.

Sam looked confused. ' _Shut up, Alastair, shut up. I don't want Sam to know. He shouldn't know..._ ' Dean thought desperately. "I am so disappointed in you. You showed so much promise!" Alastair spat. ' _Thats it, we're done for. He's gonna kill us all._ ' Sam looked even more confused. Alastair stretched his hand at Dean and he felt his breath get cut off. From the corner of his eye, he saw Sam struggle for breath too, and sag down to his knees. _'I'm sorry, Sammy. I hope you go to Heaven. Maybe you can meet up with mom and Jess. And tell them I'm sorry._ ' Black spots were forming in his vision, when he suddenly heard Anna yell at them to shut their eyes. He struggled to comply, as did Sam. Alastair's hold on them was broken, and Dean instinctively rolled up for protection. He saw Sam do the same. A shockwave cascaded over them and when he looked up, only they, Ruby and the two angels remained. Anna was gone, the demons obliterated, it seemed. Dean picked up the demon killing knife. "What are you guys waiting for? You should go get Anna" he sneered. "Unless, of course, you're scared." As Uriël hissed him that it wasn't over, and Cas held him back, Dean saw something in the cerulean eyes. Was that... Pride? Hope? What ever it was, Dean wasn't sure he wanted anything to do with Cas anymore. "Oh it's over for me, Junkless." he bitched, hoping the angel in the trenchcoat got the message. The blue eyes snap to his face for a moment, filled with exasperation at his continued bickering with Uriël. Dean just couldn't make himself care and left as soon as he could.


	17. Chapter 17

Cas sat on the bank of a stream. Outwardly, he looked calm and at ease, but inside there was a storm rageing. Two voices were warring inside his head. ' _This is not happening. Dean... He_ _slept_ _with her. Uriël confirmed it. How could he_ _do_ _that? Was he lying in his dreams?_ ' one of them said. The other was more logical, analytic. ' _He is a fine example of a man. With all the insecureties that go with that. He was raised by a strickt Father, who was probably even slightly homophobic. Of course he would want to prove he is straight._ ' Cas started pacing along the stream. He couldn't forget the regretfull looks between Dean and Anna and finally he gave up. Telling his inner voices to shut up, he combed a hand through his dark hair. Only one way to solve this. Heaving a deep sigh, he flew off to see the Winchesters.

Dean was lying on the hood of his Baby with his back against the windshield and a beer in his hand, just staring at the dusky sky. ' _It's the colour of Cas' eyes..._ ' he thought dreamily and sighed. ' _Shut_ _up_ _, Winchester! He's a dude. An angel_ _and_ _a dude. No freaking way that he'd... Even if I... Am I? UGH!_ ' He sat up and rubbed his eyes furiously with his thumb and forefinger. The motelroom door opened. "Dude, you coming in, or not?" Dean smiled and looked over his shoulder at his brother. "Yeah... In a bit, Sam. Just trying to get my ducks in a row." Sam shrugged. "Alright then, don't let Daffy get to you." he quibbed and went back inside. Dean smiled and settled back on the hood. He ignored the colour of the sky, instead settling for searching the evening star. His mind blissfully blank, Dean emptied his beer. ' _Time to hit the sack._ '

Dean opened his eyes and frowned. Hadn't he gone to bed? How in the world did he end up on Baby's hood again? And the sky was still dusky. Darker than just before Sam came out to ask him in, but when Dean had finished his beer, it had been fully dark. Dean stared at the sky and was uncomfortably aware that the colour was eerily like Cas' eyes when they were wideblown with lust, in Dean's dream. Remembering the slight sounds Cas had made, Dean felt a warmth building in his stomach. He sighed, resolved that somehow, tonight his brain wanted to linger on the subject of one very sexy angel in a trenchcoat. Wait... Sexy? ' _Shut up, brain. I never said that._ ' Still, if he was honest with himself, Cas was, to a certain amount, really, very cute and... Yes, sexy. Weary, Dean shut his eyes again, trying to ignore the tighteness in his jeans. "Hello, Dean." Dean shot up, almost falling off the Impala's hood.


	18. Chapter 18

"What the Hell, Cas?" Dean snapped, getting off Baby safely. To his total bewilderment the angel looked out of sorts. "I'm sorry to bother you. I know you need your rest, and dreams help you process your day, but I... I..." The angel stuttered, and Dean looked sharply at him. Was he... Blushing? "Cas..." Cas blinked and turned his cerulean eyes to Dean. Dean felt the warmth in his belly churn as he took in the dark bedhead, the incredibly blue eyes, the pink tinged cheeks, and the slightly chapped, pink lips. Cas let his tongue slip over this lower lip and Dean nearly moaned. ' _Wait... Didn't he say I'm dreaming again? Well then... Screw this_!' Dean stepped up to Cas and cupped his face between his hands. "Cas..." Wonder crept in the blue eyes and Cas tried to tilt his head. ' _Perfect_.' Dean thought. "Shut up." he mumbled and pulled Cas in for a longing kiss.

Dean felt Cas melt into the kiss and he tangled his fingers in the dark hair, revelling in the softness. Cas moaned softly and slipped his arms around Dean's waist, pulling him closer. ' _Oh my god. I don't care that I'm going to Hell... Again. This feel so good!_ ' Dean thought, as he felt Cas rub his hands up Dean's back. Regretfull, he broke off the kiss, gasping. Cas looked disappointed, and Dean felt a smile curl his lips at the sight. "Human, Cas. Need air." As Cas relaxed, his mouth curled up in a little smile, and Dean kissed the corner of it. "Dean... I have to ask." Cas' gravelly voice schot straight through Dean, making him want to shut Cas up again, but he waited. He could tell this was important for Cas. Important enough to pop up in his dream. "Why..." Cas broke off, looking down uncomfortably. ' _Cas looks adorable when flustered. Wonder what has his wings in a twist._ ' Dean combed a hand across Cas' temple. "What, hotwings? Tell me."

Cas unhappilly looked up from under his dark lashes and Dean felt his heart melt. ' _Adorable... God I sound like a chick again... But he looks good enough to eat._ ' Cas sighed. "Dean... Why did you sleep with Anna? You seem happy enough to kiss me like this, but..." Dean bit his lower lip. ' _Are you freaking kidding me? He's_ _jealous_ _! It's so cute! Oh god! Shut up brain..._ ' He let his eyes wander over Cas' face, noticing how utterly unhappy the angel looked. "Well... I think it was a combination of pity for her and me, trying to proof that this..." He placed a soft kiss on Cas' forehead. "... was just me trying to get to an angel." That didn't go down well, Dean could tell. Cas tensed up and Dean quickly put his hands on Cas' shoulders. "But I was wrong, ok? As much as I wanted to proof to myself that I'm as straight as a ruler, every time I see you, my heart stutters and I'm starting to realise that maybe I'm just as straight as a slinky." Hope rose in the blue depths of Cas' eyes and Dean knew that for once, he had said the right thing. "I make your heart stutter?"

The childish wonder in that gravelly voice made Dean smile. "Yeah... You do. And you know what, angel? I'm starting to like it." Cas smiled and Dean decided that now was the time to get back to kissing. He leaned in again and caught those pink lips under his own. Cas kissed him back and Dean just wanted to crawl in the embrace and never let go. He felt some disappointment when the angel pulled back and he actually whined softly. This made Cas chuckle. "You're human, Dean. You need air." Dean sighed. "True." he conceded and once again pulled his fingers through the hair on Cas' temple. "But that doesn't mean I don't want to keep kissing you." Cas tilted his head back when Dean carded his fingers across his temple again, and Dean took his chance. He lowered his head and kissed the lean neck in front of him, his lips cool against Cas' flushed skin. "Ah! D- Dean." Cas managed, making Dean all kinds of crazy. "Yeah, Cas?" he asked, lips still on the soft skin of his neck, searching the pulsepoint. "Dean... I..." Dean felt the words rumble in Cas' throat and he licked a strip from his collarbone up to the soft spot under Cas' ear. "Dean!" Cas moaned. Grinning like the Chesshire cat, Dean pulled back. "Yes Cas?" He nearly laughed when Cas was glaring at him, but his eyes were that wonderful darkblue hue and his cheeks were flushed. "You're not playing fair, Dean." His fingers stroking the same soft spot where his tongue had been, Dean licked his lips. "I know... Isn't it fun?"


	19. Chapter 19

Cas watched as Dean told his brother goodnight and crawled in bed. He waited until Dean's breathing got deep and slow with sleep and then he slipped into Dean's dream. He loved to see Dean stretched out across his beloved car, totally relaxed. The little worried frown that appeared when Dean opened his eyes made Cas want to listen in on his thoughts, but the fact that he was invading Dean's dream was intimate enough. Dean settled down again, but Cas felt his throat go dry at the sight of the slight bulge in Dean's jeans. ' _Oh my Dad... I'd better get myself together and do what I came here for, before I do something inapropriate._ ' He swallowed hard, trying to get his throat to work. "Hello, Dean." Dean shot up, almost guiltily, and nearly fell off the hood. "What the Hell, Cas?" Dean's deep voice sounded irritated, and Cas started talking, no, rambling. "I'm sorry to bother you. I know you need your rest, and dreams help you process your day, but I... I..." His courage failed him, and Cas felt a blush creep up his neck and cheeks. Dean's jade eyes looked at him sharply and when Dean said his name, Cas nearly fled, but that would be counterproductive. He watched as Dean got closer and licked his dry lips nervously. Dean took his head between his hands ever so tenderly and said his name again. Wondering what was going on, Cas tilted his head as much as Dean's hold on him allowed. "Shut up." Dean said and pressed his lips on Cas' mouth.

' _Oh my word! I missed this!_ ' Cas thought and felt himself melt into the kiss as Dean weaved his fingers in his hair. His hands seemed to have a life of their own and crept up Dean's back, feeling the muscles under the shirt move. The warmth of Dean's lips and body made Cas simply stop thinking. When Dean pulled out, Cas felt empty and cold. "Human, Cas. Need air." Dean explained and relieved, Cas smiled. The soft kiss Dean placed on the corner of his mouth made Cas' stomach flutter. ' _Come on, Cas. You came here with a reason. Get to it._ ' he chided himself. "Dean... I have to ask. Why..." His courage failed him again and his question bled out. Feeling Dean brush his fingers across his temple was oddly comforting. Cas looked up through his lashes, when Dean asked "What, hotwings? Tell me." The sweet tone made Cas heart stutter and strange enough, it gave him back some courage. "Dean... Why did you sleep with Anna? You seem happy enough to kiss me like this, but..." Dean was biting his lip and Cas felt all words slip away from him.

When Dean told him that he had slept with Anna to justify his kissing Cas, Cas wanted to run, but Dean put his hands on his shoulders and that kept him there, wondering what other torture would come from those lucious lips. Dean's eyes locked onto his and Cas felt utterly unhappy. "But I was wrong, ok? As much as I wanted to proof to myself that I'm as straight as a ruler, every time I see you, my heart stutters and I'm starting to realise that maybe I'm just as straight as a slinky." Cas didn't get it. ' _Wait... What? Slinky? What is a..._ ' All thought stopped as Cas realised the bit just before the slinky thing. Joy leapt through him and he felt light as a feather. "I make your heart stutter?" The smile on Dean's lips and his wonderful answer made Cas smile right back. When Dean pressed his lips onto his again, Cas responded gladly. When he thought Dean might need air, he pulled back. Apparently Dean didn't agree, because he whined softly. Cas chuckled and explained himself in the same wording as Dean had before, hoping to get another one of those beautiful smiles.

Instead Dean sighed and agreed, pulling his hand across Cas' temple once again. Pleasure shot through Cas and he nearly moaned. "But that doesn't mean I don't want to keep kissing you." Dean said softly, repeating the motion. Cas couldn't help it, he let his head follow Dean's hand and exposed his neck. When Dean quickly pressed his lips to it, Cas felt his heart stop. He moaned and gasped Dean's name. Dean never took his lips off his neck and the vibrations of his "Yeah, Cas?" and the searching lips made Cas want to all kinds of wrong things. He tried forming a sentence, but Dean brought his mouth to his collarbone, distracting him. When Dean licked up the indent in his throat to the soft spot under his ear, Cas could only moan out his name. "Yes Cas?" Dean asked, and he sounded thouroughly amused. Cas tried to glare at him, but he could feel he was failing. "You're not playing fair, Dean." Cas tried, but the hunter's stroking fingers melted all steel he had wanted to put into the statement. Grinning maliciously, Dean licked his lips and said: "I know... Isn't it fun?" Cas could only agree when Dean brought his mouth back to his neck and softly let his teeth graze the sensitive skin.


	20. Chapter 20

"D- Dean... Please..." Cas' moan as he felt Dean's teeth, shot straight to Dean's loins. Letting his nose run up to the same sensitive spot under his ear, Dean groaned too. "Cas... Oh god, I could sleep all day, if it meant I could keep dreaming like this." he hoarsly whispered. He felt Cas shiver in his arms and he mouthed at Cas' earlobe, catching it between his teeth. On his back, Cas' hands were franticly running up and down, rubbing, kneading and basically driving Dean nuts. His own hands decided to get under that trenchcoat and suit jacket and ran up Cas' sides. "Mmmmm..." Dean crooned. "Lanky with some muscle... Totally called it." Somewhere way in the back of his mind, Dean was shocked at his own hoarse voice, the lustful sounds he produced and the fact that he had a full on boner for a guy. More to the front, all his thoughts were about trying to get Cas to strip, without offending the angel.

Imagine his surprise when the slender fingers abandoned his back, to favour the front of his plaid shirt. Smoothly, they unbuttoned three buttons, before Dean caught on. He swallowed hard. "Cas..." The fingers stopped unbuttoning, but the hands now slid under the plaid shirt and ran over the plain black T-shirt underneath. Dean felt his breath hitch when Cas' fingers grazed his nipple. "Cas..." This time the angel's name was a loud moan. "What is it, Dean? Aren't I allowed to play dirty too?" The hushed, gravelly voice in his ear made Dean close his eyes and he gasped at the warm breath tickling his jaw. "I find I like playing dirty with you, Dean." That comment bypassed everything else and Dean grabbed Cas, pushed him against Baby and kissed him passionately. He pressed his whole body against the angel and pushed his leg up between the black slacks. "Dean..." the angel moaned. "Cas... Oh god, Cas!" Dean felt his boner press against the muscled thigh and he nearly lost it when he felt something similar against his own jeans. Was he really turning on this stoïc, pokerfaced Angel of the Lord? "Dean..." Cas moaned. "Dean, I think we should... Ah!" he gasped as Dean pressed his leg up slightly. "What's that, Cas? What should we... Mmm!" Cas had just returned the favour and Dean felt he couldn't take much more.

"Holy smokes, Dean! Wake up and take care of yourself! I need some sleep here!" Sam's voice cut through the lustful haze and Dean's head snapped up, the dream breaking up already. "It's ok, Dean. Wake up. I'll be back." Cas assured him, before disappearing. Dean shot upright in his bed and glared over to his brother. Sam was looking pissed off and very messy. It seemed he had put his head under the pillow, before caving and waking up his brother. "Nice timing, bitch." Dean snapped, regardless of the fuzzy feeling at his brother's caring. Sam's bitchface intensified. "Yeah, I tried, jerk. But after five minutes, those moans get disturbing." Memories of the dream pushed forward, and Dean was glad the room was dark, because he suddenly realised what Sam might have heard. Blushing beetroot, Dean threw off the covers. "Right. Well, you get your prescious sleep, Aurora. I'm going to take your advice." Sam groaned. "Gross." Dean huffed, trying to ignore the tightness of his boxers. "You brought it on yourself." he snapped, getting to his feet. Sam turned to his side, back to his brother. "Just keep it down, ok?"


	21. Chapter 21

After settling back in bed, Dean couldn't relax. Unlike most dreams, this one stayed clear in his mind and did nothing to coax Dean back to sleep. The fact that Cas was a dude, made Dean question his whole lovelife. He turned his thoughts to Carmelita, his favorite Casa Erotica actress, and noted that yes, she still did it for him too. Back to Dream Cas, lots of hotness under the belt. Thouroughly confused and annoyed, Dean got up and opened Sam's laptop. He was going to find out if he was just nuts, sick or somewhat normal, even if it meant he had to use Sam's laptop to go on more sordid sites. Pretty soon, he blew out a relieved breath. His time in Hell hadn't turned him into a sick bastard after all. He was bi-sexual. He smirked to himself in the pre-dawn light. Actually just like him. Throw convention to the wind and don't discriminate. When you're a monster, you're a monster, and when you're hot, you're hot, no matter if you're a guy or a girl. He withstood the temptation of finding some gay erotica, just to test his theory. It was still Sammy's computer, and that wizzkid could easily track what he had been doing with it. He opened up some local news website and scanned for a job. He was up anyways, why not make good use of it?

"That better not be on some Asian cartoon porn, Dean." Sam's voice came from the mountain of blankets. "It's way too early for me to try and stomach that. Especially after last night. I'd have thought you had enough." Dean felt a blush creep up as he remembered how that dream had helped him get his release. "Shut up, Sam. I'm scanning for a job. Preferably one without angels and demons. I'm fed up with either side." Sam wrestled himself upright. "Yeah... Honestly, meeting that creep Alastair and that asshat Uriël, it quenched my likings too. Got anything non apocalyptic there, Dean?" Dean sighed. "Just what I think is a poltergeist, somewhere in Utah. But hey, no angels, no demons, and just an hour and a half away." Sam stretched his large form and yawned. "I'm game, Dean. Just a quick shower and breakfast, ok?" Dean nodded and closed the laptop. "Ok."

Dean was riding shotgun... A rarety, but his broken night, the emotional backlash the day before, it all resulted in a foggy head and an unquenchable desire to nap. "Sammy, I'm bushed. You take her. Drive safe though." he had said, tossing the keys at his baby brother. A bit surprised, but internally very pleased, Sam had caught the keys in one hand and with a radiant smile had opened the drivers door. "Sure thing, Dean. Going back to dreaming about Carmelita?" Dean glared at him. "Shut up, bitch. I can still get your laptop frozen on a pornsite." Sam chuckled. "Oh, you can try, jerk. Now get some sleep. I'll be nice. As long as you keep the happy noises down." Dean gave a non-committal grunt and made himself comfortable on the seat. ' _At least Sammy doesn't know I'm dreaming about Cas._ ' was his last coherent thought, before sleep overtook him.

Dean was dreaming about Hell again. The taunting remarks from Alastair, the screams from the souls on the rack, the stench, the heat. It was all there. "Come on, Dean... We're not getting any younger, are we?" Dean swallowed. The lazy drawl of Alastair always made his stomach churn in misery. "If you don't want to, I could take over today..." Alastair offered, dragging the back of his hand over Dean's cheek. Dean pulled back, instinctively. ' _Oh Hell no! I know his imagination is far worse than mine._ ' Dean closed his eyes. ' _I'm so sorry... But if it isn't me, it'll be him, and believe me that's a hundred times worse..._ ' He hoped the soul could somehow get this before he picked up the knife. A way down the hall leading up to the private torture chamber of Alastair, there was a ruckus, but in Hell there was always some kind of background noise. Dean didn't pay it much attention. That was, until he got swept off his feet by something or someone cloaked in a bright, blueish light. His heart leapt and he actually felt tears brimming his eyes. Cas! It had to be him! He was actually remembering Cas coming for him.


	22. Chapter 22

Cas landed in Alaska and let himself stand outside, in the snow, until he could form coherent thoughts again. ' _Darn it, Sam! Just five more minutes..._ ' He raised his trembling hands to his head and cradled it. ' _I am in such trouble! He is the Righteous Man... And Michael's true vessel._ ' A stray thought flashed through his mind, and he shivered involuntairily. If Michael was ever to take his true vessel... That would mean Dean would be... Gone... Dispair clawed at Castiël's insides and he whimpered. Resolutely pushing his feelings down, Cas started to pace in the snow. ' _Those thoughts are not of import now. If the Winchesters can manage to prevent all 66 seals to be broken, even if it stops at the last seal, it will never need to happen. Michael will never need his vessel and Dean will remain himself. I must make sure we can keep the last seal from breaking_.' Cas felt something wet at his toes and he glanced down. His shoes were soaked from the snow and the hems of his slacks were getting drenched too. A sarcastic smirk curled Cas' mouth. ' _Well. At least I have cooled down enough. I think I need to check on the brothers. Who knows what trouble they will find themselves in.'_ He took flight and set his mind to finding the Winchesters.

In the back of the Impala, Cas had enough space to get comfortable. To his initial surprise, Sam was behind the steeringwheel, and Dean sat, nodding, in the shotgun position. Some soft rock number played quietly, not quite breaking the silence. When Dean started twitching his nose and tossing his head, Sam quickly threw him a worried look. "Damn it, De. I'd give anything if this dream could be one of your lustful ones. All this dreaming of Hell... It can't be good." A worried hand ghosted over Dean's face, but he recoiled from the touch. Sam sighed and put his hand back on the wheel. ' _You may be helpless, Sam, but I'm not._ ' Cas thought. He put Dean in a much deeper sleep, akin to a coma, and slipped into the dream.

He recognised the hallway, the screams and the heat. Dean was indeed dreaming about Hell again. Quickly Cas decided that today, he would help Dean remember. This couldn't go on very much longer. He cloaked himself in his Grace and flew directly to where he knew Dean was. Grabbing his precious love around the chest once again made his heart leap. He fought down the urge to do a joyous loop, and instead sped to Limbo, where he knew he was supposed to go. Once there, he carefully set Dean down and wrapped up his Grace again. "Cas!" Dean called, his voice full of joy. Cas smiled. "Hello, Dean." Dean pulled him into a hug and muttered "Shut up." into his hair. "Cas..." Dean pulled back from the hug and took Cas' head between his hands. "Cas..." Cas tilted his head in confusion. "What is it, Dean?" Dean just shook his head and kissed Cas roughly. Cas moaned and brought his hands up to ruffle through the short hair in Dean's neck. He gasped when Dean bit his lower lip softly and Dean took advantage of that by slipping his tongue in Cas' mouth. ' _Oh my... That's new..._ ' Cas thought, before his own tongue started twirling around Dean's, as if it remembered something Cas didn't. Dean pulled back, gasping. "Cas... Why can't I stop doing this? Even when I'm dreaming of Hell, I end up making out with you." Cas blinked dazedly. "I think that to answer that, you would have to remember." he said softly. "Remember? Remember what?" Cas looked at the veridian eyes, so beautiful and full of confusion. "Come... I'll show you." He took Dean's hand and pressed two fingers to his head.


	23. Chapter 23

Feeling Cas lift him up, and fly off with him, made Dean feel light and happy. As soon as Cas had set him down, he turned to see him. There he was, still the 'Holy taxaccountant', but Dean felt so much more now. How Cas was an amazingly sexy and sweet guy, and how much he wanted to hold him. He let his heart speak and a joyous "Cas!" burst from his lips, while he felt his heart grow two sizes. When Cas said his signature greeting to him, he pulled him close and just muttered "Shut up." Dean didn't want Cas to talk. He just wanted to hold him tight and feel that warm body mold to his. He had to say something. Something other than the angel's name. He broke the hug and took that beautiful face in his hands. Still all he could say was Cas' name. The confused question and head tilt broke his vocal chords. He leaned in and desperately kissed Cas. Dean felt the angel pull his fingers though his hair and it turned him on, big time. He sank his teeth teasingly in that pink lower lip and Cas gasped. Dean let his tongue slip out and into that wet warmth, that simply made all thoughts come to a screaching halt. For a moment, Cas didn't do anything, but when Dean felt Cas slip his tongue over, under around his own, Dean felt it go straight through him. ' _Holy Hell... I just can't get enough, can I?_ ' A stray thought wandered across Dean's mind and broke the mindless kissing session. Dean pulled back and he could see the pink flush over Cas' cheeks, his swollen lips and his darkblue, hooded eyes. "Cas... Why can't I stop doing this? Even when I'm dreaming of Hell, I end up making out with you."

Dean almost missed Cas' soft answer, because his nasty mind suddenly placed Cas on the rack, and Dean felt his cock twitch at the thought. "Remember? Remember what?" Cas brought up his two fingers, and Dean just knew he'd hate what was coming. He closed his eyes firmly and squeezed Cas' hand. When he opened his eyes again, they were in the same place, but Cas had stopped glowing. Yet there still was some blueish glow illuminating the chamber. Cas tapped Dean's shoulder. "Look." he said low in his ear, and pointed a bit down the cave. Dean saw two figures. One outlined in the glow, one emitting the glow. "That's... Is that... us?" he whispered. Cas pulled him along towards the figures. "Yes." he simply said. "Now be quiet. You need to hear this." Rebuked, Dean fell silent and strained his ears to catch what was being said. He saw the stance of both figures, and his hand crept up his own arm, to the point where the handprint scar was. That was Cas' handprint? He felt dizzy.

"So... You said your name is Castiël?" he heard his memory self say. ' _Really, Winchester? How original..._ ' "Yes, I did." Well, a least Cas didn't think him cheesy... "I'm Dean. Dean Winchester." Memory Cas smiled. "Pleased to meet you, Dean. Why are you troubled by my presence?" Dean smirked. For a socially awkward angel, Cas did get such signals pretty well. "Who said I was?" Memory Cas tilted his head. "There is no-one here but us, Dean." "Shit, Cas. Don't take that litterally. What are you doing anyway? I am feeling more like myself than before." Dean turned his head to his Cas. "Yeah, I'd like to know that too." Cas glared at him and shushed. "Like I said, I'm reconstructing you. Soul now and, later on, body too. I am using my Grace to heal and rebuild you." Dean blinked. Cas had done all that for him? That was a damn sight more than just 'gripping him tight and raising him from perdition'. "It feels nice. Almost like a good buzz." Dean shook his head. That would be what he said, wouldn't it? Dean had a hard time not wincing at the conversation. Some bits were bordering gay. ' _Then again, Winchester. You've been kissing and making out with the guy in almost every dream you've had for weeks! I think you might have passed bordering gay by now._ ' His thoughts halted when he heard memory Cas softly say "Sweet Father in Heaven! Those eyes are the most beautiful mirrors of the soul I have ever seen!" He redirected his attention towards the memory. "I am sorry. Did that make you uncomfortable?" Dean shook his head. ' _That's my awkward angel._ ' he thought, smiling. "Hmhm. Well, yeah, a little. But... I think I can say the same for you. Your eyes are extraordinarily beautiful." With a low, gravelly voice his Cas whispered into his ear. "Do you still think that, Dean?" Dean felt the timbre of the voice right down in his groin. "Yes..." he gasped. "Good... Now pay attention."


	24. Chapter 24

Dean watched his memory self place his right hand on Castiël's left upper arm, in a mirror image of the angel's hold on him, and just close the gap between them, crashing their lips together. A shock cascaded through both of them. A wave of energy mingled with memory Cas' Grace. It shot through his right hand, into memory Dean's soul and out memory Dean's right hand back into memory Cas. It circled like that while their lips were locked together. The mix of energy and Grace swirled around them, through them, but they were standing still. Suddenly memory Dean broke the connection with memory Cas' lips. "You love me too?" They said it in unison. Dean sat down, hard. "This is real?" he whispered. Cas crouched next to him. "Yes. This is what happened before you crawled out of your grave. But shush... There's more." Dean gulped and his eyes sought Cas'. "Cas..." Cas just pressed a light kiss on his head and put a finger to his lips. Dean turned his attention back to the memory.

Memory Cas and -Dean were speaking softly, and Dean crawled a bit closer to hear. "I am going to let you go, Dean. I'll start repairs on your body now. Your soul is healed." Memory Dean pouted a bit, making Dean roll his eyes. He was such a spoiled princess! "Come back soon, ok? Now I've found you, I don't want to lose you." Memory Cas planted a soft kiss on his forehead. "I feel the same. Once your body is restored too, I will reunite you with it and then help you out of the grave. It's not far, but we are currently in another dimension. Otherwise we couldn't stand here. I'll be right back." With a quick wingbeat, he was gone. On the arm of memory Dean's soul, a handprint glowed blue. "I went to your grave, and I rebuilt your flesh too, Dean." Cas said to him in a low voice. Dean felt his breath tickle along his earlobe. In the light of all he had seen there, the shiver of lust that cascaded though him, was very understandable. "Cas..." he groaned, but his angel kissed his cheek and pointed ahead.

Memory Dean was impatiently pacing the dark room. Just the glow of the angel's handprint gave some light. Memory Dean caressed the glowing spot and Dean found himself coping the motion subconsiously. Suddenly a blue glow showed up, coming close fast. As it neared, Dean could see the outline of wings in it. Somehow, what he felt was what the memory felt and his heart leapt up. Cas was coming! The angel landed next to his memory him and pulled him near . Memory Cas claimed memory Dean's mouth and Dean lost all thought. "I really like how you greet me." his memory said hoarsly, once their mouths had parted again. "Come, love. Let's get your parts together. I wonder how you kiss when in your body." Dean felt a surge of longing. Memory Dean grabbed memory Cas by his head and kissed him with fire, rougher and more passionate than before."Let's go." memory Dean growled. Memory Cas grabbed him around the chest again, slipped out his Angelblade for insurance, and took off, leaving Dean and Cas behind.


	25. Chapter 25

Dean looked up at Cas, his throat constricted. "Cas..." Cas blinked his cerulean eyes at him and smiled. "I know, Dean..." Dean shook his head and grabbed it in both hands. "No... You don't... I'm sorry.. I'm so sorry! How could I forget?!" Cas pulled him up into a hug. "It's ok, Dean..." Dean hugged him tightly and sighed. "Cas... Right at the end there... I felt it... Like I remembered it... This really happened, didn't it?" Cas nodded. Dean felt a sudden hunger inside him. He grabbed his angel and pressed him against the rough wall, kissing him like his life depended on it. Cas moaned. "Dean..." Dean pressed hot kisses to his jawline. "Cas." he growled, his speach interspaced with more kisses. "I'm sorry. We... could have had... so much more...time together..." Cas threw his head back. "Ah... D- Dean... Please... This is..." Dean shut him up the only way he knew how and Cas' protests were smothered in his passionate kiss. Dean flicked his tongue along that sexy mouth and Cas happily granted him access. Dean felt his jeans get tighter and the thought that this time he might get to see some more of Cas helped that along nicely. Dean pulled back from Cas' mouth. "Cas..." he growled, his voice rougher and even lower. "...Cas, please... May I?" Cas was panting, his lips swollen, pink and wet. His eyes were lust blown and dark blue and he looked like a freaking pornstar, with his bedhead and that slightly opened mouth. Dean cursed under his breath and pulled Cas in again. Cas melted against him and Dean could feel Cas' cock press against his thigh. "Oh, Geez Cas... You're so hot." Cas blinked, still breathing heavily. "Yes... I am a bit warm. Odd that.'

Dean smiled, despite his throbbing cock. "Lemme help you then." he breathed into Cas' ear, sending pleasant shivers down Cas' spine. Cas gasped and mutely nodded. Dean growled and kissed Cas on his pulsepoint. "Some day, I will mark you, Cas. I'll make wonderful bruises all over that gorgeous neck of yours." Cas whimpered as Dean dragged his lips full length over the side of his neck. Dean slid his hands under the trenchcoat and suit jacket, and let his fingers ghost over Cas' back. When he reached the point of his shoulderblade, Cas arched his back. "Dean!" the angel cried out, bucking his hips. Dean smiled like a cat that ate the canary. "Hmmmm. You like that, huh angel?" he growled low into Cas' ear. In one swift move he shucked off the trenchcoat and jacket, and stepped back a bit. ""Mmmm. Caaaas." Dean moaned as his eyes drank in how delicious his angel looked in just his dress shirt and tie, a tent forming in his slacks. Cas looked down right dirty, and yet deliciously innocent. Dean grabbed the blue tie and roughly pulled Cas back into his reach. "Mine." he growled and his hands were already unbuttoning the white shirt.

Dean hummed happily when he noticed Cas wasn't wearing an undershirt. Cas had been letting his hands run around Dean's back again and now they were undoing Deans shirt, but they fumbled. "Hang on, angel." Dean said, breathing erratic. He swiftly unbuttoned his shirt, and dropped it to the floor, followed by his t-shirt. Cas had undone the tie and dropped his dress shirt on top of the trenchcoat. Dean growled and set his teeth right into Cas' neck. Cas moaned his name and bucked his hips again, rubbing his erection against Deans jeans. "Dean..." Dean softly kissed the spot he had bitten. "I know, angel... Me too." Cas shook his head. "No, Dean... I... I'm inexperienced.. I... I'm not sure what I'm doing." Dean stopped dead. "What?" Cas ran his fingers through Dean's hair again, trying to pull him in a kiss once more, but Dean stayed frozen. "Shit, Cas... Are you freaking serious? You're a virgin?!" He ran his hands though the jet black tresses of Cas' hair. "Shit, shit, SHIT! I should have been more gentle... I'm so sorry, Cas. C'mere." He gently pulled the half naked angel in his arms and pressed soft kisses in his neck. "I'm so sorry... Did I come on too strong? Have I scared you?" He could feel Cas smile against his shoulder. "No. I'm fine, Dean. I actually enjoyed that very much. I'm just afraid that I don't meet your expectations. I know you've had more experienced partners before." Dean chuckled and pulled away a bit. "You're doing just great, angel... Here." He took Cas' hand and guided it to the front of his jeans. "You feel that? I haven't been this hard in ages." Cas blushed as his hand touched the bulge in Dean's jeans and Dean made a keening sound in his throat. Just like that, Cas was kissing him again, roughly.


	26. Chapter 26

Cas was glad that he had taken the precaution of knocking Dean unconsious, before dreamwalking. That meant Sam would be blissfully unaware of his brother's dreams, unless Dean would tell him. Dean was making all kinds of lustful noises, as Cas was kissing him again. The warm bulge, that Dean had made him touch, throbbed and Cas could feel his own cock respond.

"Cas..." Dean broke free. "...are you sure?" Cas didn't even think about it and his hands were busy undoing Dean's fly. "Oh god... Cas!" Dean crooned when Cas slid his hands in his jeans and tugged them down. "Dean..." Cas responded, not sure why the mossgreen boxers made him want to kneel down and press kisses along the elastic. A wet spot was showing on the fabric and Cas wanted to pull the boxers down and see why it was there.

"Cas..." Dean pulled him closer, his own hands tugging Cas' belt loose, unhooking the slacks and pulling them down. Cas moaned as Dean's knuckles skidded along his cock when he pulled his slacks down. His hips bucked once more and Dean grinned. "I think I'm going to like teaching you..." he teased, making his hands drag upwards along Cas' spine. Little shivers ran all along there and Cas heard a low keening coming from his own mouth. Dean found it again, and drowned the sounds out in a deep kiss. Cas could feel the warm hands running up and down his back. When Dean found the spot at his shoulderblades, Cas threw back his head and uttered a moan, so lustful, it even caught him off guard.

Dean pushed his leg between Cas' and pulled it up a bit. Cas gasped and moaned, making Dean shiver. "Shit, Cas. Keep that up, and I'm in trouble." Cas breathed heavily and rutted against Dean's leg. "Dean... I... I'm feeling so warm... It's tight..." Cas whimpered. Dean slipped his hands under the elastic of Cas' boxers, grabbing his ass in one fluïd motion. "That's it, angel." Dean cooed in a raw voice, when Cas moaned and bucked his hips again. Dean responded and they were rocking their hips together. Cas felt a warm, burning heat build in his abdomen and he wanted release. "Cas..." Dean moaned. "... You make me want to do all kinds of wrong stuff to you. Like grabbing you like this..." He grabbed Cas' ass again, pulling it up." Cas moaned. "Or rub you like this..." He rolled his hips tantalisingly slow against Cas' cock. Cas shivered and the warmth turned into a white heat. "D- Deaaaaannnn..." he moaned and felt pleassurable jolts wreck his body, while his boxers suddenly got warm and wet. He felt Dean tremble and he heard him gasp. "Oh god, C- Cas, Caaaassss ..." Then Dean jerked his head back and more warm wetness spread over Cas' thigh. Dean slumped against him, but kept himself propped up, so he wouldn't crush Cas. "Holy Hell, Cas... That was some of the hottest sex ever." Cas felt tired, but satisfied and he smiled up at the wrecked and beautiful man he had pulled from Hell and rebuilt. "I thought so... We've built up quite the sweat." Dean threw his head back and laughed.


	27. Chapter 27

Dean opened his eyes, smiling. He was in his Baby, and Sam drove. Some stupid soft rock played on the radio. "Damn it, Sam. Again with the soft rock... We're lucky you didn't doze off too." Next to him, Sam huffed. "Driver picks the music..." Grumpily Dean sat up straighter. "Shotgun shuts his cakehole, I know, I know." Dean arched his back a bit, and then he felt something. ' _Oh god! I've soiled myself... That was one Hell of a dream!_ ' He rubbed his face. "It wasn't a dream, Dean..." Dean whipped his head around, but the backseat was empty, and Sam didn't even blink. ' _What the Hell?_ ' Sam looked at him sideways. "You ok there, brother? You look a little spooked." Dean blinked, surreptiously glancing at the backseat. It was and remained empty. "Yeah... 'M okay. Just... Ehm.. Trouble getting back to the waking world, I guess." Sam chuckled. "I bet you have. You were almost comatose. It was kinda freaky. You were asleep, starting to dream. And it was a bad one, I could tell. Then you just relax and not another peep out of you for almost an hour. You didn't flinch, toss or move anything. I was glad to see you smile when you woke though. Means you had happy dreams, right?" Awkwardly aware of the drying cum in his pants, Dean flashed a tight smile. "Yeah, must have." He shifted in his seat a bit. "You do realise that I can't keep putting you under like that, Dean... It's not healthy on the long run." There was no mistaking that gravelly voice, or where it seemed to come from, but still Sam didn't even raise an eyebrow. He just steered the Impala onto a motel parkinglot and turned off the engine.

Dean stood under the scalding hot spray of the motel shower. He lucked out for once and the waterpreassure was amazing. ' _I'm losing it. Cas wasn't there, was he? Sam couldn't hear him, I couldn't see him... But I sure as Hell heard him. Maybe it was the aftermath of that dream..._ ' The room was steamy, and Dean still kept standing with his hands pressed against the wall, water cascading down his back. "I already told you it wasn't a dream, Dean." Dean nearly slipped when he turned around. "Cas?" Through the tendrils of steam he could make out a silhouet, standing just outside his reach. "Yes, Dean, it's me. May... May I join you?" A bit panicked, Dean glanced towards where he knew the door was the only thing between them and Sam. "I took the liberty of putting Sam asleep. I think we need to have this conversation alone." The timbre of Cas' voice, the implication of a sleeping Sam and the fact that showering usually meant nakedness, had Dean trying to swallow a dry throat. "Yeah... I guess so..." he finally managed. "Good." Cas said and he stepped forward. Dean felt his jaw drop, then he laughed. "Buddy, you're getting soaked." Cas tilted his head, making Dean succomb to uncontrolable giggles. Cas was still fully dressed, his trenchcoat dripping, his shoes shining with moisture. "You're ruining your clothes, Cas. Usually, when showering, people undress." Suddenly, the angel was right in front of him, his cerulean eyes intense and locked onto Dean's green ones. "Well then... Why don't you help me out?"

The darkening blue eyes, the wet sexhair and the wet, pink lips caused a myriad of reactions in Dean, most of them in the region of either his loins, or his heart. "Cas..." Dean breathed. A minute tilt of the head. "Yes, Dean? Can I help you?" Dean groaned and pulled the angel roughly in for a kiss. His hands shucked off the coat and jacket, while Cas let his hands slide over Dean's pects, trailing the tattoo with his slender fingers. When he grazed the nipple, Dean gasped into his mouth. "Sensitive area, Dean?" Cas growled, making Dean shiver. Dean ripped the dress shirt open and it landed with a wet slap on the tiles. Cas moaned at the roughness and Dean bent his head towards the newly exposed skin. He lapped at a drop of water near the nipple, and Cas moaned again. "You were saying, angel?" Dean teased, while his hands were exploring the lean, yet muscular body in front of him. The blue tie clung limply to the wet skin and Dean pushed it aside with his nose. His hands were too busy at the back. "So, that wasn't a dream... Was it?" Cas murmured something, then cleared his throat. "No... It...Ah... It wasn't..." Grinning devilishly, Dean growled. "Good."


	28. Chapter 28

Dean let his hands skirt upwards over Cas' back and when he reached the points of his shoulderblades, Cas arched his back and threw his head back with a moan. "That's a very sweet spot there, angel." Dean lewdly cooed. "Y..yes... It... It's where my... Oh! My wings start..." Dean raised his eyebrows. That information got stored for later. Now he wanted to drink in every inch of those miles of skin, Cas was showing. "No body art... This Jimmy was pretty vanilla, wasn't he?" Cas shook his head. "I... I don't understand... that reference." he gasped, because Dean was letting his hands run free over Cas' torso and he had pinched a nipple. "Meaning he was not very rebellious." Dean chuckled."You only have the one tattoo... Does that make you 'vanilla' too?" Cas asked, tracing the pentagram lines. "Not really. It's a form of preservation. If Sam or I were to be covered in body art, we could be easily recognised, couldn't we? Personally, I'd love some more ink..." Cas kept tracing the tattoo lines and the heated atmosphere slowly dissipitated. Dean turned off the water, since it was starting to get cold. He kept tracing his hand up and down Cas' spine, while Cas kept his attention on the tattoo. "Where did you get the design? It's not a common sigil." Dean pulled his fingers through the wet, jet black hair. "Bobby. He gave us some amulets with this sigil on it. When Sammy lost his during a simple hunt, we decided to get inked up. Permanent, and impossible to lose." Cas sighed. "It becomes you." he said and placed a chaste kiss right on top. Dean sighed contently. "This is nice, Cas." he said and combed through Cas' hair again. Cas hummed in assent and they stood like that for a few minutes. Cas tracing the tattoo, and Dean running his one hand up and down Cas' back whilst combing the other through the wet, black tresses of Cas' hair. "We have to talk, Dean." Cas said eventually. Dean sighed, and grabbed a towel to wrap around his waist.

"Then we'll talk." He handed Cas the bathrobe, since his clothes were all soaked. "Ehm... You.. You should get your... Ehm... pants off, Cas. They're soaked." Cas sighed. "It is quite uncomfortable. Thank you." He took the robe and simply dropped his pants, and boxers, where he stood. Dean felt a blush rise up his cheeks, seeing those long, muscular legs, the hipbones and... Nope. Not looking further. "You oughta hang those out to dry. I don't think you've got any spare clothes, do you?" Cas blinked. "I never needed them." Dean smiled and shook his head. "C'mon then. I'll lend you some of mine. Then we can talk." He put on his old, shaggy sweatpants, and a faded Metallica t-shirt. "Stay in here, I'll be back with clothes." Cas nodded and Dean turned to go. "Dean..." He turned his head. "Yeah?" Cas was grinning mischeivously. "I like your glutes in those pants." Dean gasped. "You... You're the one who said we needed to talk." Cas blinked innocently, but the grin remained. "I did say that, didn't I? Then we probably should." Dean threw the wet towel at him. "Tease." He quickly ducked out the door and, seeing Sam in a blissfull slumber on his bed, snatched some old things from his duffel.

They were sitting against the headboard on Dean's bed, Cas snuggled under the hunter's arm. "So... We should talk, right?" Cas sighed. "Yes. It is imperrative we do." Dean snuggled down a bit more, backing in the warmth the angel provided. "Right... About?" Cas picked at the hem of the old Metallica t-shirt. "I think you should know that it is of the utmost importance that we prevent the last seal from being broken." Dean huffed. "Well, dûh, Einstein... What were we trying to do again?" Cas turned his amazingly blue eyes on him, and Dean could see tears forming. They tore at his very soul. "Cas... Whoa buddy, what's wrong?" Cas blinked furiously. "I...if the last seal breaks... Then Lucifer wil... Walk the...the Earth, and... and then..." He burrowed his face into Dean's shoulder. Gently pulling him up, Dean softly stroked the ruffled, dark hair. "Heyheyhey. It's ok... I'm here... C'mon angel... I'm not gonna bail on you. Now I've got you, I really wanna keep you." Cas snuffled. ' _Great pie in the sky! That's adorable! He wrinkled his nose... Ok shut up, Winchester. Comforting time. Sexy time, later._ ' Planting a soft kiss on the tip of Cas' nose, Dean pulled the distraught angel closer. "I.. I know, D... Dean.. I.. It's just that M... Michael will... Will want to...take his...his vessel." Dean arched an eyebrow. "So? As long as the guy consents, that won't be a problem, will it?"


	29. Chapter 29

**A. N. Thanks for all the favorites and follows, guys! As a treat: an extra chapter posted! ENot! Hectate**

Cas looked up into his eyes and the cerulean pools radiated pure dispair. "But, Dean... It's you... You're the vessel." Taken a bit aback, Dean thought about it a bit. "Ok then... No problem." Cas whimpered. "You're wrong, Dean. Big... Big problem." Seeing tears roll down the angel's cheeks, Dean frowned. "Why? I'd be glad to help end the Devil. And maybe we can find a way to not destr.." Cas grabbed his shirt and fiercly gazed at him. "Two reasons... Two big, fucking reasons, Dean. One: when an Archangel leaves his vessel again, it will be spent. A burnt out shell. And two... Oh my Dad! I can't..." Totally flabbergasted, Dean watched Cas dissolve in tears again. "Hey... Cas... Angel.. Come on, babe... Don't. Dont cry..." Cas hiccupped, triggering Dean's protective mode even more. He scooped up all 6' worth of sexy, trembling angel and put him into his lap like a six year old with a scraped knee. "Come on, angel... What's number two?" Cas rubbed his head against Dean's cheek like a kitten. "Wh..while you're Michael's vessel... Guess who...who Lu...Lucifer would.." Dean blinked as Cas burrowed into his shoulder again. ' _Who_ _would_ _Lucifer take as his vessel? If it makes Cas this upset, he must know the gu...Oh my freaking god!_ ' He quickly looked over to Sam, still out cold on his bed. "You mean... Sammy?" Miserably, Cas nodded. "No. Way! No fucking way in Hell, or Heaven for that matter! No-one is wearing my baby brother!" Cas rubbed his head against Dean's cheek like a kitten. "Wo..worst p..part is y..yet to c...come." he stuttered. Dean felt cold dread clutch his heart. What could be worse than Sammy being the Devil's prom suit?

"Rem..remember wha..what Mi..Michael a...and Lu...lucife...Lucifer a..are sup...supposed to do to...to eachother?" Dean gaped at him. "No... No way. They wouldn't make us do that, would they?" Even as he asked the question, he knew that yeah, they would. Cas curled up even more miserably. "Don't answer that, Cas... I know they would." Cas let out a shuddering sigh, and Dean cuddled him close, mumbling sweet nothings and combing his fingers through the dark hair. "Is it usual to feel so empty?" Cas asked after a bit, his voice even rougher than usual. Dean kissed his head. "Yeah... Most of the time." Cas cuddled closer. Now the crisis was over, Dean felt his warmth creep through the thin layers of clothing. "It must be because when you have used all the feelings, they are gone." Dean chuckled a bit. "You would think so, wouldn't you?" Cas nuzzled Dean's neck, making all kinds of sensations shoot through Dean. "Dean..." he mumbled, his gravelly, cried out voice jumping straight downwards. "...this is very nice." Dean swallowed. "Yeah... I like it too." He felt Cas' nose slide up to the bolt of his jaw, and his lips tickle the soft skin stretched under his chin. That felt more than nice. "Do you know why?" Cas rumbled against his jaw, his warm breath inetensifying the little bolts of pleassure, shooting through Dean. "Ehm.. No. Not why you like it..." Dean managed. ' _Holy crap, Winchester, keep yout freaking libido under control, will you? The guy just had a meltdown. He doesn't want to do anything but cuddle._ ' He could feel Cas smile against his skin. "Because, Dean Winchester, it's easy for me to do... This." He suddenly sank his teeth in Dean's neck. Pleassure shot through Dean like whitehot lightning. "Ah! Cas..." More smiling. "Yes, Dean?"

Dean cleared his throat. "Do you even realise what you're doing to me right now?" he asked, his voice even more gruff than usual. Cas licked a strip along his jawline, making him moan. "I'm hoping I was turning you on." Dean felt his cock jump at that. "Oh.. Well... You are." Cas closed his lips briefly around Dean's earlobe. "Good." he whispered in Dean's ear. Dean closed his eyes and swallowed around a dry throat. "Oh god, Cas... Your voice... It should be illegal." Cas chuckled, letting his hands drift up underneath the thin fabric of Dean's shirt. "Your eyes should be..." he murmured. "You can make me do anything, if you look at me right. Just don't ever look at me like you looked at Uriël." Dean felt every touch of those wandering hands. "Yeah.. Well Uriël was a dick. You're not." He let his own hands go explore, and he slipped his right hand under the shirt Cas was borrowing. He let it wander around to Cas' back and up to that sweet spot he had discovered in the shower. Cas moaned into his hair. "Dean..." Dean grinned. "I like that spot. It always makes you say my name like a freaking pornstar." Cas turned his head to look at him. "My appologies." Dean smiled. "I like it... It's so hot." Cas pulled that little confused frown. "That's a figure of speach, angel. Means it turns me on big time." Cas' eyes darkened. "Dean..." Dean almost felt his pupils blow out. "Just like that, angel." He kissed those soft lips and Cas moaned into it, making Dean feel that even his sweatpants were getting tight. "Geez, Cas..." he groaned, but Cas claimed his mouth again.


	30. Chapter 30

Cas thought that he was empty of all feelings, after he had calmed down a bit. But Dean's warm body and the feeling of his chuckles rumbling under Cas' cheek, made all those warm, fuzzy and needy feelings Cas had felt after they had seen the memory, return full tilt. Dean's neck was so temptingly close... He nuzzled it and he could hear Dean's breath hitch, ever so slightly. A little, mischeivous plan started to form. Cas wanted more, way more. There was so much more to this than what they had done so far. Cas kept his face pressed against Dean's neck. "Dean, this is very nice." Dean's adamsapple bobbed up and down and Cas smiled secretly. On with his plan... He slid his nose upward to the bolt of Dean's jaw, consiously keeping his lips on the verge of touching. Dean's answer to his question was slightly breathless, and that was just as planned. A mischeivous smile played around Cas' mouth. "Because, Dean Winchester, it's easy for me to do... This." he said and lightly sank his teeth in that beautiful neck. The gasp, the gruff voice breathing his name... Cas felt tingly all over. "Yes, Dean?" The question Dean asked was almost lost to Cas, since the timbre of Dean's voice was setting things alight in Cas. He wanted to taste Dean's skin, since it was so tantalisingly near. Cas gave in and licked the jawline. "I'm hoping I was turning you on." he said, deliberately keeping his voice low. He felt something move against his thigh and he had a very good inkling what that was. Dean's somewhat surprised answer made Cas' own cock react. He was! Sweet! He nibbled on Dean's earlobe, since it was so readily available on his way to whisper in Dean's ear. When he delivered his hoarse "Good", Cas could feel Dean tense up, in a good way. His hands slipped under that soft T-shirt, feeling the even softer skin under his fingers.

When Dean's hands crawled to his wings again, Cas felt anticipation and pleassure mount and he pressed his face into the nape of Dean's neck. Then those skilled fingers found the spot where Cas' wings sprouted and Cas moaned out his name. When Dean commented on it, Cas felt a little selfconcious and apologised. Dean's confession that it turned him on, made Cas feel like his insides had turned into molten lava. He moaned the hunter's name again and the resulting whisper and kiss had that lava churning and bubbling. He felt the loss when Dean pulled back for air and a groaned "Geez, Cas..." Not wanting to miss those delicious lips, he pulled them back on his own. Feeling daring, Cas slid his tongue out and over that plump lower lip, making Dean moan and his mouth opened slightly. Cas pushed his tongue in and tried to taste every nook and cranny in that wonderful, warm place. Dean's hands roamed more freely, and kept revisiting that sweet spot where Cas' wings began. Hot spears coursed through Cas and he felt the loose pants that Dean had given him, were too tight. Dean tugged on the t-shirt Cas had on, and Cas knew that this time he wanted to pay more attention to the rest of Dean's body. So he pulled his t-shirt off, and in one swift move, Dean's too. Dean gasped, then growled. "Oh, god, Cas... You are so beautiful..."

Dean gasped in surprise when Cas suddenly pulled the borrowed shirt and in succession Dean's. The swift movement had messed up the dark bedhead even worse and the kissing had left Cas with swollen, pink lips and darkblue, lustblown eyes. Further more, Cas had a flush covering his chest and neck, which enhanced the natural paleness of his skin. Dean felt his stomach lurch and his cock harden even more. He didn't even recognise his own voice as he growled how beautiful he thought Cas was. The borrowed sweatpants were slightly too big, and rode low on his hips, letting the sharp bones show just above the waistband. His hands dropped down to those enticing little bumps, barely touching them, but Cas bucked his hips none the less. "Dean..." The angel pushed him down, not roughly, but determined. "Let's make this one longer." he growled low. "I want to explore every inch of you, Dean." The determined forcefullness, the low growling, Dean thought it very exciting. "Whatever you want, Cas... I'm yours." he breathed, while he shivered with delight. Cas started kissing his shoulder, making a trail right down, licking Deans nipple on the way. "Mmmmm Cas..." Dean moaned and bucked. His breath got more laboured as Cas let his tongue circle around Deans bellybutton and then slipped it lightly along the very edge.


	31. Chapter 31

Dean felt his insides melt and his brain stopped functioning. "Cas!" He felt Cas smile against his belly and he let his hands card through the dark hair. "D-don't stop, Cas... Please..." Dean would never, ever have thought that he would plead like that during sex. Cas ghosted the tip of his tongue right along the board of Deans boxers. Dean threw his arms over his head, closed his eyes and moaned lewdly. That moist, warm bit of skin and sinew slid along his side, making him squirm, right up to his other shoulder, where it stopped. "Are you enjoying this, Dean?" Cas asked, his voice more gravelly than ever. It shot right down to Deans cock. "Yes..." he breathed. He opened his eyes, drinking in the sight of Cas with his hair ruffled, ruffled by his hands, his lips swollen and pink by his kisses and his eyes wide and lustblown. "Here, let me return the favour." Dean said and smoothly flipped them. Cas' eyes widened even more and Dean could see it turned him on. He grabbed the slim wrists in one hand, knowing full well Cas could easily break free, and pressed his nose under Cas' right ear. "You like that, huh Cas? A little roughhousing..." Cas' breath hitched. "D-Dean..." Dean nibbled the earlobe, making Cas gasp and arch of the bed. Then he kissed a line down the side of that slender neck and sucked briefly at the pulsepoint, which made Cas moan loudly and squirm under him.

Dean let go of Cas' wrists to let his hands ghost along his sides. "Dean..." Dean smiled into his shoulder, sucking a mark there. "I told you I would mark you, Cas. Now give me that neck..." Cas moaned and tilted his head back. Dean bit and sucked and made several marks down that stretch of pale skin. "Mine." Dean growled again, and Cas just gasped and pulled him close. "Dean..." he whispered hoarsly. "...Dean, I want..." Dean smiled and nipped Cas' shoulder softly. "I know, sweetheart, I know... C'mere... I'll help." He pushed his hands under the elastic of the sweatpants and slowly shoved them down. ' _Oh god! I forgot to give him boxers... He's gone commando._ ' Dean felt like he would explode. He let his hands ghost upward again and Cas bucked against his touch. "Shhhh, it's okay, angel. I got you." Cas tossed his head from side to side. "Deaaaannn." Dean quickly pulled his own pants and boxers off and aligned his cock with Cas'. Using the precome from them both, he slicked up his hand. When he softly grabbed both their cocks in his one hand, Cas bucked and the friction almost drove Dean mad. "Oh, Cas..." Slowly he began rubbing his fist up and down in a slow rythm. When Cas was trying to match it by rolling his hips, Dean picked up the pace. "Oh, Cas... So good." Cas moaned. "Dean... More... Please..." Gladly, Dean obliged and that warm, liquid feeling started building in his belly. "C- Cas... I'm... I'm gonna..." Cas gasped. "Dean... Me... Me...ooooohhhhh!" Feeling Cas come all over their joined cocks and his hand was too much, and Dean lost it.

Panting, human and angel cuddled together. "Cas..." Snuggling down in his arms, Cas opened his eyes. He looked absolutely blissed out. "Yes, Dean?" Dean kissed his forehead. "That was amazing." Cas smiled. "I thought so. Is it common to get aroused by manhandling?" Dean chuckled. "It's not uncommon. Sometimes a little roughhousing can help build the mood." Cas nodded. "I liked it." He shifted a bit. "However, I don't like that this is starting to feel sticky." Dean laughed and picked up a towel. "Here, I'll clean us up. I'm just glad Sammy didn't wake." Cas tilted his head. "I told you. I put him to sleep. Much like the one I put you in, when you started to dream about Hell. It's near comatose, and he won't wake until I tell him to." Feeling a bit awkward, Dean finished cleaning up. "Right... Well, I think we will have to get dressed, and then wake the sasquatch up. He might have an idea how we can prevent Lilith breaking the last seal." He tossed Cas his pants and T-shirt and pulled on his own clothes.

Dean sat at the table, and Cas walked up to Sam to wake him. Just as he was about to put his fingers on Sam's head, Dean called him. Slightly annoyed, Cas looked at him. "I like your glutes in sweatpants too." Dean whispered while he threw him a saucy wink. Smiling, Cas shook his head, and woke Sam. "Wha? Cas? What are you doing here? And why are you wearing Deans clothes?" Dean rolled his eyes. Observant wise-ass. "Because, nosy nerdboy, Cas got caught in a storm and was soaked to the bone. He got an interesting little tidbit to share, so shut up and get your lazy ass up here." Sam grumbled something about "annoying, bossy, short brothers" and swung his legs out of the bed.


	32. Chapter 32

"So, get this," Sam said from his bed across the room, peering at his laptop. Dean had taken the opportunity of his distraction to play little footsie with his angel. Cas kept throwing him questioning looks, and he thouroughly enjoyed it. "What?" he asked, trying not to sound annoyed or interupted. "It looks like Lilith might be in an old convent, not too far from here. We could try and kill her there." Cas fidgeted. "What is it, Cas?" Dean asked, just managing to swallow back a loving 'angel'. "I am not wholy comfortable when you say 'kill her'. Please, allow me to investigate, before you do something so permanent and irreversible." Sam nodded understandingly. "We can wait a bit, right, Dean?" Dean was struggling not to pout. He didn't want Cas to leave, but he knew was being silly. "Yeah... Be better prepared, if we can kill her." He looked at Cas. "Don't be long." he said, earning him a raised eyebrow from Sam and soft smile from his angel. "I will try to come back swiftly. Don't worry, Dean. I will be perfectly alright." Sam wrinkled his nose in confusion, making Dean want to either hit him, or explain. "I know, Cas, I know. Just..." He waved his hand a bit. Cas smiled at him again and with a flutter of wings, he was off. Dean heaved a sigh.

"Soooo..." Dean threw him a look. "Shut it, Sammy. I'm not in the mood. I'm going to get breakfast. I just hope Cas can find anything solid on Lilith. I don't want to ignore angel intuition. Somehow I think that might be a bit more powerful than ours." Sam made a nice 'I-know-you're-up-to-something' face, but let it slide. "Just coffee and a salmon bagel, please." he said, turning back to his laptop. Dean smiled. Sam was so easy to shut up sometimes. "Ok, you stay put." He grabbed his coat and left the room. Once inside his precious Baby, he just sat, staring at the shrubs in front of him. ' _So... Now I'm with Cas..._ ' he thought, a warm and happy feeling spreading through him. ' _Geez... That should raise a few eyebrows around the plains of existence. Although... I think maybe Uriël was on to us even before we were, well, before I was. Cas knew all along... I feel like such a shit about forgetting._ ' Sighing, Dean started the car and drove off, his mind full with wonder at this thing with Cas.

When he got back, the door to the motel room was ajar. 'Shit! Sam!' Dean let the take out sit on the seat, and drew his gun. Carefully, he snuck up to the door and slid in. The room looked fine. Sam's laptop lay on the bed, where he had last used it. "Sam?!" Dean called, but no answer. ' _Crap... Sammy what are you up to?_ ' Dean cased the room, but nothing. No signs of any struggle or anything. "Sammy!" Dean called, louder this time. Still no answer an Dean was getting both worried and pissed off. He opened the laptop, to find a note taped on it's screen.

'Dean, don't freak out, but I've gone with Ruby. She's got a lead on Lilith. I'll let you know more asap. Sam' Dean withstood the urge to fling the laptop through the room. Instead he punched the wall. "Damn it Sammy! What part of 'stay put' don't you get?" Dean started up the laptop, hoping to find a clue on where that demon bitch had taken his brother, but no luck. He peered angrily at the screen, as if he could force it to answer him. "Dean? What has the computer done to offend you?" Cas asked, his gravelly voice full of concern. Dean jumped, his heart racing a mile a minute. "Cas! Thank god you're here. Sam has gone with that demon bitch, Ruby. Here." He handed Cas the note, who took it, read it and frowned displeased. "I don't like this, Dean. According to my information, Ruby is very trusted in hell. A lieutenant of Lilith herself."


	33. Chapter 33

"What?! That bitch! That two timing, belly to the ground bitch! I'm gonna gut her with her own knife!" Dean yelled, pulling the knife out of his waistband. "May I see that, please?" Cas calmly said. Taken aback, and instantly calmed, Dean handed it over to Cas, who examined it carefully. "Where did you get this?" he asked, his blue eyes curious. "Ruby lent it to us. It kills demons." Cas smiled. "I should hope so. This is an ancient, demon killing knife, made by the old Kurds. Very powerful, very rare." Dean smiled grimly. "Good. Then it's ours now, and she can only have it back point first." Cas stroked his temple. "I don't like it when you're upset, Dean. Please calm down. You're being irrational." Dean leaned into the touch. "I don't like it, Cas. Who knows where Sam is now." Cas kissed his head. "I can track him, if you like. Then I will fly us there. See if we can spoke her wheel." Dean set his jaw. "That's a plan, angel. Let's do this." Cas concentrated, and then he touched Deans forehead.

Next thing Dean knew, they were outside, next to a rundown house in a wooded area. "They are inside, but they have used angelwarding. I cannot enter." Cas waved his hand and sigils glowed where it passed. Dean gripped his knife tight. "Do that again, angel, when I'm right next to the wall." Cas obliged and Dean quickly scraped some of the glowing line away. Cas smiled. "That will work just fine. Come. Just two more, and I can enter." He waved his hand over a different piece of wall, and Dean scratched away. "So, what's the plan here, Cas? Sammy isn't just gonna take our word for it that Ruby is a two timing bitch, and he has to stand down." Dean whispered. "I learned a trick or two from my older brother, Gabriel. He's one for pranking people. He used this one on Hannah once... watch." He snuck into the abandoned house, Dean hot on his tail. ' _Holy smokes... he had such a malicious twinkle in those blue eyes... if this wasn't such a serious situation, I'd kiss him silly. Hell, even in this situation, I'm half turned on..._ ' Dean decided that, if, no when, they got Sammy out, and all was back to normal, he'd start a prankwar with his brother and team up with Cas. See what other tricks his big brother had taught Cas.

Down the hallway, Cas signaled Dean to stop and he pressed his back against the wall. ' _Dean..._ ' Dean gasped when he heard his angel's voice in his head. ' _Shhh. I'm going to go invisible. I need to be for this to work. Just keep your eyes and ears open._ ' And before Deans wide open eyes, Cas just disappeared. Inside the room, he could hear Sam and Ruby having a discussion. "Ruby... Dean and Cas said to wait... I know she's very nearby, but..." Sam spluttered, and Dean could hear in his voice that he was trying his damndest to convince the bitch. ' _Hell, I just_ _know_ _he has those puppyeyes on, full force.'_ Dean thought and he felt kinda sorry for Ruby. Those things should be outlawed! "Come  on, Sam! This is your chance! Why waste it on some stupid angel and his gut feeling?" Dean felt anger flare up. No-one called Cas stupid! "Besides, this is your chance to prove your brother that you can make your own decissions. When you kill Lilith, he'll be proud of you, I can tell you that." Dean nearly snorted. He was proud of Sam, always. Yes, the kid had made a mistake in trusting that bitch, but Hell, even Dean had been led around by the nose. She had done her best to mislead them both. "I don't know, Ruby. I still think we should wait a bit longer. Just until Cas gets back with more intel."


	34. Chapter 34

Dean could hear Ruby pace impatiently. "Really? You really trust an angel? You saw that those jerks don't care... all they care about is their stupid rules. Man up! Geez... how much longer must I keep leading you around?" Dean peeked around the corner of the doorframe, and he saw Ruby, throwing up her hands, while Sam gaped at her. "This is so stupid! I was having fun when this all started. Hell, the sex with you was great, but for the love of Lucifer... I'll be glad when you kill Lilith. With her Death being the last seal, my Lord will rise and..." Dean saw Sams face cloud over with anger, betrayal and hatred. Ruby's back was turned and he winked at Sam. Sams eyes grew wide for a moment, but Dean pressed his finger to his lips to keep him quiet. Ruby kept on pacing and ranting about how great things would be once Lucifer was topside. Swiftly, Dean slid Sam the Kurd knife. Sam picked it up and held it behind his back.

"You know, Sam... I think, once I am my Lord's next lieutenant, I will enjoy ending you, your stupid brother and that prettyboy angel myself!" Sam narrowed his eyes at her. "Really? I think my stupid brother, the prettyboy angel, and I might not like that." Ruby shut her mouth with an audible click. She looked shocked and confused. Dean snuck up behind her and grabbed her tight. Cas appeared and smiled smugly. "I used your boredom and irritation at the discussion, and let those boil over. Then I turned off your verbal filter. You dug your own grave, als they say." Ruby struggled. "Sam... I... I didn't mean that... I... I..." Sam wrinkled his nose in angry disgust. "I think that was the most honest you have ever been with me..." He glanced at Dean, who nodded, and Cas who inclined his head in a motion to indicate that Sam had the floor. Without waisting further time or words, he slid the Kurd knife in her gut, twisting it upwards. Ruby lit up from the inside and sagged in Deans grip.

Letting the corps drop, Dean stepped up to his brother. "Sam..." Sam turned away. "Don't, Dean... I... I'm just not worth it." Dean felt as if Sam had plunged the knife in his gut and he looked at Cas with pleading eyes. Cas nodded and took Sam by the shoulder. "You're not to blame, Sam. She has tricked both you and Dean into trusting her. And with her feeding your addiction, it wasn't hard for her to drive a wedge between you two. I think you are being too hard on yourself." Sam smiled ruefully. "When you put it like that... Thanks, Cas, for showing me her real plans." Dean sighed. At least Sam accepted Cas' explaination. Sam turned to him. "De... I... I'm sorry." Uncharacteristicly, Dean pulled his brother into a tight hug. "Shuddup, Sammy... I'm sorry for leaving you alone. I shouldn't..." Cas rolled his eyes exasperated. "Dean... don't you start blaming yourself now. Neither of you is to blame. Come, we will return to the motel." He pulled the brothers towards him, and as the world faded out, Dean felt a kiss on his cheek. He just hoped that Sam didn't see...


	35. Chapter 35

Cas had gone up to Heaven, to try and find a way to bind Lilith, so she couldn't raise Lucifer. Sam and Dean were just packing up at the motel. "So..." Sam said, his hazel eyes twinkling. "What's this with you and the angel, huh?" Dean choked. "What do you mean?" Sam flashed him a full on grin, dimples in place and everything. "I saw you... he kissed you!" Dean felt a blush creep up his face. "On the cheek." he spluttered. Sam chuckled. "And?" Dean sighed and flopped on his bed, rubbing his face. "Geez, Sammy, give it a rest, willya?" A cocky toss of his head was all the answer Dean got. He groaned. "Not the way I wanted to do this..." Still not a word from Sam, just a curious, hazel look. "Look, Sam... I... god... I'm..." Dean heaved a sigh. "I think I'm bi-sexual. There. I said it." That earned him a huff. "What?" Sam grinned and shook his head. "I could have told you that. I've seen you look at handsome guys before." That made Dean blink. "Excuse me?"

Sam showed his dimples again. "Yeah, some waiters, that one guy at the bikerbar in Talahassee, oh, and let's not forget your Dr. Sexy thing..." Dean threw his pillow at him. "Shut up! It's a compelling show." Another huff. "Yeah, right. Anyway... why come to this conclusion now?" Dean rubbed his neck. "Well, me and Cas... ehm... we kinda hit it off... in Limbo." Now it was Sam's turn to be gobsmacked. "You... what?!" Dean flashed him his own, somewhat shy, grin. "Yeah... when he ehm 'gripped me tight and raised me from perdition'? He had to restore me first. Like fix my body and my soul. That stuff is kinda intense contact and... well... we just sorta... clicked..." He scratched the back of his head in an embarrased way. Sam's cute face lit up in a happy grin. "Yeah? Wow... that must have been weird once you... wait... you said you didn't know who pulled you out... you accused me! Was that all an act to conceal your thing with Cas?" He actually looked pissed. "What? No! I really didn't know... Not until recently. I think Cas's dick brothers wiped my memory or something. I had weeks of not knowing why I kept having these... ehm... happy... dreams about a dude, an angel dude to boot." Sam scrunched up his nose. "Oh... Geez! You mean that time, a few days back, when you... oh god!" Dean smirked guiltily. "Sorry..." Sam waved him off. "Just TMI dude... UGH. Any way.. you figured it all out? How?"

Dean heaved a sigh... "Cas helped me remember. Like only yesterday. When I was out cold in the car? He put me under and dreamwalked, to help me ease my Hell nightmare, but we ended up... ehm.. making out. I kinda commented on how even Hell dreams ended up with us kissing and he changed the dream. Into a memory." Seeing the look on Sam's face, Dean quickly went on. "Don't go saying that he manipulated me. He just showed me... stuff, and it just clicked. I remember it now, even stuff he didn't show, like when we were next to my grave, before my two parts were fused again..." Sam blanched. "You.. you remember that? That I didn't..." Dean nodded. "Never forgot, Sammy. I litterally crawled out of my grave. Can't really complain now, can I? If you had given me a hunter's burial, I wouldn't be here." With the sound of flapping wings, Cas appeared. "Yes you would, but it would have taken me several months to completely restore the ashes. And only after I had collected every last bit. That, or I had to go back in time to prevent the scattering." Dean smiled and pulled the angel close. "Heya, Cas. You are just the harbinger of good cheer, arent you?" he teased and kissed the chapped lips softly. Cas glanced at Sam uneasily, but returned the kiss. Sam chuckled. "What?" his brother asked, slightly annoyed. The chuckle turned into a full on laugh. "Dude... I'm calling it." Cas tilted his head to the right in confusion, and Dean did the same, only in warning. "Don't you dare..." he threatened. Sam jumped up and danced out of his reach. "Totally calling it." he said in a sing-song voice. "Chickflick moment!" Dean made a grab for him, but he ducked in time. Sitting on the bed, Cas smiled as his boyfriend and Sam chased around the room, laughing and playing like kids. His news could wait for a bit.


	36. Chapter 36

**A.N. I'm so sorry, dear readers... my Muse decided now was the time for a holiday, or something. I got stuck. Thankfully, she returned and I am happy to report that the story is back on track. Onwards!**

"WHAT?!" Cas shrugged unhappilly. "I know. I cannot begin to understand." Sam grabbed his fuming brother by the hand. "Dean... calm down." Dean spun around to him. "I am calm! Sorta. I just don't get it." He turned back to Cas. "Michael basically ordered you to let us kill Lilith, even though you told him? You told him killing Lilith would be the breaking the final seal, and he still ordered you to let us go about it, and not to return until we have?" Cas nodded, an utterly unhappy look in his blue eyes. "I don't understand either. It almost seems Michael wants the Apocalypse to happen..." Dean swiftly sat down next to the angel. "Well, he can stuff it. We're not going to gank her. Not for his pleassure." He pulled Cas into a hug. "I don't want to be his meatpuppet, Cas. I want to be with you." Cas swallowed and burrowd into Dean's shoulder. "Well," Sam piped up. "... if you don't give him permission, he can't make you."

Dean looked at his baby brother. He still hadn't told Sam that Lucifer would be trying to get him to share his body with the fallen Archangel. "Then I won't. You wouldn't, would you, Sam?" Sam huffed. "Hell no. I'm happy being me. I wouldn't like to be an Archangel's bunkbuddy, no thank you." Happy for now, Dean returned to hugging his angel. "Dean, I'm a bit uneasy about this. I am afraid Michael, or his underlings, will try and manipulate you to do their bidding. And they are very persistent." Dean chuckled. "They don't know the Winchester streak of pigheadedness." Sam laughed too. "Yeah, Cas. Dean can be as stubborn as the proverbial ass." The look he got from the green eyes would have evaporated him, if it could. "Don't underestimate your hardheaded idiocy, Sammy."

Sam grinned, happy he could still yank Dean's chain. Seeing him hug Castiël like that... it would take some getting used to, but Sam was happy to see Dean at ease like that with someone other than him. Dean deserved a little happiness. He just wished he didn't feel like the proverbial third wheel. Cas pulled free from the hug. "So. Now what will we do?" Sam smiled. He liked the angel. He pulled up a large book. "Well, I have been looking up some demon trapping spells, but I haven't found anything that made me feel certain it could hold the likes of Lilith." Cas walked over to him. "Please, allow me, Sam." A bit reluctant, he handed the book over. Cas started reading, his finger scooting over the page like it was chasing the words. Impressed Sam watched him, as he flipped pages with a speed that made Sam envious. Cas closed the book. "I agree with you, Sam. Nothing in here seems adequate. And since the Heavenly library is closed for me, I think we might have to re-adjourn at your associate, mr. Singer's house. I take it he has quite the collection of lore." Sam took the book back. "You read that all?" When the angel tilted his head in confusion, Sam could see what Dean saw in him. He looked kinda cute, like a puppy. "Yes. I can read quite swiftly." Cas sat down next to Sam, making Sam a bit uneasy. "Sam, I need to offer you an apology. I haven't been treating you correctly."


	37. Chapter 37

Sam raised his eyebrows. "Why would you say that?" He noted that the angel was looking uncomfortable. He rubbed his neck and coughed. "Well, I was rather mean to you. It wasn't your fault you were addicted, and I should not have held it against you. It was uncalled for." Sam smiled, and Dean shook his head. "Cas, are you... trying to get along with the family?" Sam asked, eyes twinkling. Dean shot him a bitchface, but he couldn't resist. Cas tilted his head. "I'm not sure what you mean, but I would like to be your friend, Sam." Sam smiled, and Dean rolled his eyes. "That's ok, Cas. We're good." Sam said, and he meant it. The angel had grown on him and he had the feeling it wasn't just 'getting along with the family'. Cas really wanted to be friends, and Sam felt that they really could be. That Cas was... dating (if you could call it that) his brother, was just an aside. Dean roughly intervened. "Allright guys. End of chick-flick moment. Let's pack up and head over to Bobby's. If we're going to prevent the Apocalypse, we'd better keep moving, or things might be decided for us."

Baby rumbled to a halt at her usual spot in the salvage yard. "Sam... I'm going to be sick." Dean mumbled. Sam smirked. "Why?" Dean shot him an uneasy glance. "I dunne.. it's kinda like..." He looked over at the house and something went 'click' in Sam's brain. "You're nervous!" he chuckled, earning him a deathglare from his brother. "I get it, Dean. I guess it's kinda like having your girl meet your Dad... isn't it?" Dean lowered his eyes. "Yeah... and I know Bobby is awesome, but... what if he doesn't accept this... me being... you know..." Sam smiled softly. "He will. Hell, I'm betting he already knows. He was with us on that case in Talahassee, remember?" Dean looked even more uneasy. "Crap... oh well..." Another glare at the house. "Let's get this over with." Sam shook his head as his big brother swiftly left the car. He knew Dean was biting the bullet, before his courage left him. Give him a fang, a werewolf, heck, a demon: no problem, but dealing with emotional stuff like this... he'd rather face a ghost without salt or iron. Casting a glance over at his brother, Sam saw him rubbing his jaw, then biting the nail of his right thumb. Sam smiled. That was a Winchester tic. If things got really emotional, and they were almost at their wits end, he and Dean both bit their nails. "You gonna call in Cas, or not, Dean?" Dean didn't respond, probably running every possible doom scenario through his head. Sam sighed. "Castiël, please, Dean is freaking out here."

The flutter of wings startled Dean and he cussed. "Really, Dean?" Sam sighed. "You know we agreed to all come here." Dean actually flipped him the bird and went to hug Cas. "Hey Cas. Missed you." he gruffly said, making Sam smile ruefully. Even when he had admitted his feelings, Dean was still awkward in showing them. "And I you, Dean. But why are we out here, and not inside?" Huffing a laugh, Sam answered for his brother. "Because Dean is having cold feet." Cas frowned confused. "But then you really should be inside, Dean, and warm up." Sam threw his head back and laughed. "Yeah, I told him, Cas." Dean let go of the angel and glared at Sam. "Shut up, Sam." Unimpressed, Sam chuckled and stepped up to the door. Cas and Dean following, Dean hesitantly being pulled on by Cas. Sam knocked and waited. The door opened and the tatty baseball cap that met Sam's eye, made him smile. "Hiya, Bobby."


	38. Chapter 38

Dean felt his insides had turned to stone and were weighing him down. He felt the reassuring warmth of Cas' hand in his, but when they stepped up the porch, he pulled free. He wanted to turn tail and run, jump in Baby and head for the nearest bar. The fact that A: they had an Apocalypse to stop and B: he couldn't let Cas face Bobby alone, kept him standing right where he was. Sam knocked. ' _Oh please, to all the Gods out there, let Bobby be out._ ' The door opened and the surly face of their surrogate Dad was peering at them. Dean looked upwards. ' _Gee, thanks for nothing, douchebags!_ ' He licked his lips, biting the lower softly. "Hiya, Bobby." Sam said warmly, the traitor. Bobby's face lit up in one of his rare smiles. "Hi boys! What brings you to town?" Sam looked back at Dean and his eyes twinkled, before he stonefaced. "Can we come in? Some things are best told over a beer." Dean felt his mouth twitch sarcastically. ' _Or a scotch or two, maybe three..._ ' he thought bitterly as he followed the tan trenchcoat inside.

They were sitting at the kitchen table, Bobby, Sam and Dean nursing a beer, Cas idly twirling his thumbs. "Well. Beers provided, now I'd like some introductions and an explaination." Dean sighed and he felt the worried gaze of Cas on him. He licked his lips and he could swear those blue eyes darkened at just that. The corner of his mouth twitched up in a flirty half smile, and Cas licked his own lips. "Well, the latest on the Apocalypse is that we have put it on hold for now." Sam said, when Dean and Cas didn't. Dean raised his eyebrows. "You mean Cas stopped us from starting it." The bitchface from Sam was worth the reproaching glare from Cas. "That'd be you, I presume?" Bobby growled at Cas, who blinked. "Yes. I am. I'm sorry, mr. Singer. I should have introduced myself. I am Castiël, but Dean and Sam refer to me as Cas. I apologise for knocking you out in that barn." Bobby nodded once. "And you are..." he prompted. "I am an angel of the Lord. Specifically: the one who got Dean out of perdition." Dean had to hand it to Bobby: he didn't flinch or even gasp. Only his slightly widened eyes betrayed his surprise. "Well then, thank you, Cas, for getting our boy out." Cas inclined his head. "You are most welcome." Dean smiled softly at his angel. ' _So cute. Oh my god! Shut up, brain!_ ' He glanced at Bobby, but the old coot either hadn't seen, was ignoring it, or just didn't show. "So, you idjets were about to jumpstart the friggin' Apocalypse, but this here angel stepped in to stop ya. Nice work." Dean and Sam bristled. "Hey now! I wasn't about to..." Dean said, as Sam protested: "We weren't aware that..." Bobby shot them both a glance. "Shut up, ya morons. I practically raised ye both. I know how much trouble you get yerselves into. So, Cas, why are we here, and don't sugarcoat it. I ain't dumb or scared easily."

Cas shot Dean a glance, and he could read it easily. ' _Dean, why is he being so grumpy? Doesn't he like me?_ ' Dean patted Cas on the hand. "Don't worry, Cas. If Bobby was being polite, I'd be scared. This is just who he is." Bobby quirked an eyebrow at him, but Dean decided to gloss over it. "Just tell him. Then we can hit the books." Inwardly, Dean gulped. ' _And the bottle of gut rot Bobby usually provides._ ' Cas nodded and his sweet, little smile played merry Hell with Dean's guts. "Well, I found out that killing Lilith actually is the last seal, so we should prevent that at all costs. Seeing that you have an extensive stash of lore books, we thought it prudent to see if we could find away to trap her or otherwise keep her out of harms way." Bobby nodded. "Allright. Now tell me how the Hell did you stop either of these fools killing the bitch?" Sam looked down and Dean protested. "Hey!" All Bobby had to do was send him a glare. "So, Cas... how close was Sam to starting the end of days?" Cas looked at Dean, a little panicked. "Don't worry, son. You didn't slip up. I know these boys since they was knee high to a grasshopper. Their reactions just now told me all I needed." Bobby smirked. Cas exhaled loudly.

"Well, sir, Ruby had convinced Sam to come along. Lilith was close by and Ruby wanted to seize the occasion, as it were. Dean was out to get provisions, so she lured Sam away. I had learned that Ruby was actually Lilith's lieutenant, so I was instantly less than convinced she was on our side." Bobby harumphed at that. "You and me both, kid." Cas opened his mouth to tell Bobby he was actually several millennia old, but Dean motioned him to let it go. "Anyway, we located Sam and Ruby, and I used a trick that I learned from my brother Gabriel, to let her tell the truth. This opened Sam's eyes to her real intentions. I think he was not very amused." Dean huffed a laugh. "That's an understatement. He gladly killed her." Sam just stared at his beer


	39. Chapter 39

Cas felt a bit flustered. The surrogate father of Sam and Dean just gruffly asked him to do the talking. Dean's reassurance that it meant nothing, didn't do much to ease the nervous feeling in his stomach. Glancing at Dean occasionally, Cas kept talking, trying not to let slip that Sam was the one that almost brought on the end of days. He felt it was not of import to Bobby who did what exactly. Then Bobby just straight up asked him. "So, Cas... how close was Sam to starting the end of days?" Panick burned in Cas' stomach and he looked over to his boyfriend. Bobby smirked and set him at ease. When he mentioned Gabriel, he saw Bobby slightly widen his eyes and his angelic hearing caught the slight intake of breath. Here was a man who knew his angels. Dean finished the story abruptly and succinctly, so Cas let it go. "I'm not so sure about the gladly part, but it is what it is. The most important fact now, is that we need to assure that Lilith will not find her demise." He shot a glance at Dean, noticing that he licked his lips nervously once more. The feeling of 'want' bubbling in his abdomen, made Cas sigh softly.

Dean heard Cas sigh softly, wantingly, and his heart skipped a beat. He jumped when Bobby cleared his throat. "Well, I gotta say, it's good that Cas here is on our team. Now, Sam, you get the stack of lore that's sitting on the right side of my coffeetable. Dean..." Dean smirked. "The glasses. On it, Bobby." Cas did his adorable headtilt, and Dean felt his knees turn to jello. He wanted to grab the angel and kiss his sweet lips, but that might give Bobby a heartattack. He was no spring chicken! "Now, Cas, I hope you can read English..." Dean huffed as he left the room. ' _There's so much our Cas can do, Bobby, you don't know the half of it!_ ' he thought proudly, while he snatched up three glass tumblers and the bottle and a half of scotch he could see off hand. When he returned, Cas was doing his speed reading thing and Bobby was watching him from under his cap, trying his damndest to not look impressed. "I take it you don't need a drink, Cas?" Cas blinked, pausing his finger and looked up. "Actually, I think I might like to try alcohol." Sam knocked over his stack of books. "What?!" He glared at his older brother, his face clearly stating: ' _Damn it, Dean! You're corrupting an actual_ _angel_ _!_ ' Dean felt his mouth curl into a shit-eating grin. ' _Already have, little brother..._ ' He chuckled when Sam's eyes got comicly round, then narrowed as he scrunged up his nose in disgust. That got through allright... Still chuckling to himself, he poured a healthy helping for himself and Sam, topped up the glass Bobby held out, and handed Cas two fingers, as per the book.

What he didn't expect, was for Cas to chug it down like an old pro. "Whoa, easy there cowboy. Keep that up, you're sauced before the hour is done." Checking his watch, he continued. "Which is in about ten minutes." Cas innocently blinked at him. "But that's how you and Sam do it." Out of the corner of his eyes, Dean saw Sam facepalm. "Yeah, buddy, but we're semi-pro's. This is your first time. You might want to sip." Still holding his head, Sam slowly shook it left to right. Bobby was watching the whole shebang with his eyebrows raised until they disappeared under the visor of his tatty cap. "Dean's right. If this is yer first time drinking, ye might wanna ease up a bit." Cas turned his eyes to Dean, and blinked again. "If you think it prudent..." He held out his glass, and Dean reluctantly refilled. "Dean!" Sam hissed, throwing bitchface #1, the Mother of All Bitchfaces, at him. Dean knew Sam was beyond pissed, but he didn't have the heart to deny his angel. Cas seemed a bit forlorn since he'd come back from seeing his eldest brother. He shrugged at his brother and Bobby and downed his own glass. Cas carefully set the tumbler down next to his book. "I do get the taste better." He pulled down the corners of his mouth. "Too bad it tastes like molecules..." he added in a low whisper, furtively looking around. When he saw that no-one was watching him anymore, he downed the glass in one go. Surreptiously, he refilled it.


	40. Chapter 40

Dean felt his head swim a bit with fatigue and alcohol. He glanced around. Sam was sporting rosy cheeks and his head hung a bit low. ' _Yup, sauced._ ' Bobby leaned back in his chair, twirling the contents of his glass, while he slowly leafed through a large tome. Cas was sitting ramrod straight as ever, but his eyes were a bit glazed. "Cas..." Dean whispered, hoping Bobby would think he didn't want to wake Sam, who looked fast asleep. Cas turned his head towards him, and Dean noted it was too well thought out to be sober. "Yes, Dean?" Dean licked his lips, and on cue, Cas' eyes darkened. "You find anything?" Dean asked. A sigh. Dean got up, glad he didn't wobble, and walked over to his angel. "Lemme see." he said in a low voice, and leaned over. "Dean..." Cas started, but Dean nudged him. "Ssshh." Cas furrowed his brow and Dean was hard pressed not to plant a kiss on it. His brain suggested silly things, when swimming in booze. He leaned in more. "I'm going to go up, I have a room here, same as Sammy. Follow me in five, please." Under the guise of whispering in Cas' ear, Dean kissed the angel's temple. "I wanna cuddle with you." Cas gasped softly and nodded once.

"Well, I'm done for, guys. Even speedreader-boy hasn't found anything yet..." Dean said softly, while straightening up. Bobby glanced over at him, then at the mantleclock. "Yeah... I'm turning in too boys. Dean... will you show Cas the third guest room?" Sam opened a bleary eye. "Sno need, B'bby..." he started. "Sure thing. You could use some shut-eye, right Cas?" Dean said louder. Cas nodded carefully. "Yes. I think that would be nice." Sam wrinkled his whole face in confusion. "But, De, ang'ls don..." Dean glared at his brother. "Maybe you should get your ass up too, Sammy. You're pretty smashed. We're gonna get a fresh start in the morning, ok?" Sam narrowed his eyes and he glanced from Dean to Cas and back. "Jerk..." he mumbled, and Dean knew that his baby brother was perfectly aware that Dean got cuddly when buzzed. He smirked. "Bitch." Cas glanced from Dean to Sam and squinted worridly. "Sam... I don't see why you need to cuss at your brother. He's done nothing wrong." Bobby and Dean chuckled. "Don't worry about it, Cas. It's their way of saying they love eachother." Bobby clarified. "Yer brother is right though. Tired eyes miss things. Get yer butts ta bed, all of ya." he declared, snapping Sam's book shut. Sam snorted unelegantly and raised his tall form out of the chair. When he passed Dean, he raised a warning finger and hissed, so low that only Dean could hear: "Don'tcha dare wake me up!" Dean grinned at his victory and clapped Sam on the shoulder. "Night, Sammy. C'mon Cas, I'll show you your room." Cas stood and followed him up.

"Dean... what do we do now?" Cas whispered whilst following Dean up. "I'm gonna show you your room, silly..." Dean whispered back, but adding a saucy wink. "Doesn't matter which room we cuddle in, right?" Cas smiled. "I guess not. But why the subterfuge? Are you ashamed of being with me?" he asked quietly, casting his eyes down. Dean stopped in the middle of the hallway and turned around. "No! Of course not, angel." Knowing they couldn't be seen from downstairs, he pulled Cas in a warm hug. "I just want to break the news to Bobby slowly. I'm not sure how he'll react." Cas looked up through his lashes and Dean felt heat building up in his stomach, aided by the buzz from about a fourth bottle of rot gut whiskey. "Come, angel, I wanna get started on that cuddle..." The blue darkened and Cas licked his lips. "Gosh, Cas, you're wrecking me!" Dean said in a low, husky voice, before rushing them into an open door. The door was hardly closed, when Cas pressed his lips to Dean's, hungrily. It was a bit sloppy, wet and definitely drunk, but Dean was pretty buzzed himself, so he didn't mind. The taste of whiskey on Cas' lips, turned him on even more. Cas stumbled and almost pulled them both to the ground. "Geez Cas, how many did you have?" Dean chuckled. Cas did that cute headtilt, which was even more adorable now, since it was a bit wobbly. "Two, I think..."


	41. Chapter 41

Dean chuckled more. "Lightweight.." he teased. Cas mumbled something, before returning his attention to Dean's lips. Liquid heat spread through Dean, and his hands pressed agains Cas' chest. "Cas..." he breathed softly, but Cas just hummed and knit his fingers in Dean's hair, pulling slightly. Dean gasped and Cas quickly slipped his tongue between the slight opening. Dean moaned and his knees gave out, actually dropping them both on the floor his time, Dean on his back, Cas lying over him. Dean's fingers slid between the buttons of Cas' dress shirt, popping one open. The low, growled: "Dean..." made him shiver in delight. "Oh Cas... you don't know how your voice can turn me on!" Dean moaned, and he actually ripped open the shirt, buttons flying in all directions. Cas growled in the back of his throat and Dean tilted back his head in response. Feeling the scrape of teeth made the heat in his veins rise even higher and he slipped his hands under the open shirt, ghosting them upwards over Cas' spine. Cas arched his back in and threw his own head back with a lustful moan.

"Geez, angel, you look so delicious." Dean whispered hoarsely. Cas looked down at him, his deep blue eyes longing. "You look pretty tasty yourself, human." Cas answered in his gravelly voice. Dean huffed a laugh, making Cas narrow his eyes and tilt his head. "Are you laughing at me, Dean?" Dean bit his lip, but the giggle escaped him regardless. Cas sat up, semi-insulted. "You are!" Softly sliding his hands up and down Cas' spine, Dean tried to calm Cas down. "I'm sorry, Cas... it's just weird, using 'human' as a term of endearment." Cas shivered slightly under his hands, but he still glared at Dean. "You use 'angel' in the same way..." he accused. Dean sat up on his elbows and placed a light kiss on Cas' chest. "You're right... but us humans have used that as a term of endearment for ages. The common thought is that angels are sweet, flawless and special. So if we find a person in which we see those traits, we say they're an angel." Cas hummed, them kissed Dean sweetly on the lips. "I see. But I see all that in you. Yet I'm not inclined to call you angel." Dean leaned into him, wrapping his arms around his waist. "There are other terms like that. Pumpkin, honey, sweetheart, dear... loads actually. You don't have to give me one. They tend to pop up suddenly." Cas sighed. "Human speech is confusing at times." Dean smiled into his chest and placed another kiss, just under the collarbone. Cas hummed softly and wrapped his arms around Dean. "Dean..." he sighed. Dean kissed again, trailing along one collarbone over to the next. "Yes, angel?" he said teasingly and he felt the chuckle under his lips. "I love you." Cas said and Dean could hear the smile in his voice. "I love you too, Cas."

They sat together like that for a while, arms wrapped around eachother. Cas resting his head on Dean's, just cuddling. Until Dean felt Cas getting heavy. "Cas... Cas. Castiël... angel." Cas lifted his head. "Hmm?" Dean smiled. "Are you sleeping?" Cas cleared his throat, his adamsapple bobbing up and down in front of Dean's nose. "No. Angels don't require sleep, you know that." Dean kissed Cas on his pulsepoint, making him gasp. "Yeah, but you're drunk... I think your body requires the recuperation." Cas sat back. "I'm not drunk, Dean..." Dean felt the corner of his mouth turn up in a knowing smirk. "Right... so I take it drunk sex is out?" Cas did a double take and Dean could see a flush creeping up his neck. Cas swallowed heavily. "You... you'd want that?" Dean licked his lips, thinking about it. About how far he would go, and he came to the solid conclusion that, yes, he would go all te way, and not care if he would be top or bottom. He'd used Sam's laptop to get information, and watch some gay erotica. He was a bit nervous, but thinking about Cas doing stuff like that to him, made his blood boil. "Yeah.. I would like that, Cas... I would like it a lot." Cas lifted Dean's chin up and looked him straight in the eyes. His eyes were darkblue and Dean got turned on just by looking at them. Yet he could sense a nervousness in them too. "Don't worry, angel, I'll make it good for you." he assured and he let his hands start the trek upwards along the spine of his beloved angel.


	42. Chapter 42

Dean felt Cas tense up in a delicious way and he kissed the toned chest in front of him. "Cas, do you trust me?" he asked in a low tone. Cas lifted his chin up with one finger. "With my entire being, Dean." Dean let his hands ghost the shoulderblades along that sweet spot he'd found, and Cas shivered. "Good..." Dean murmured and he slid Cas off his lap, pushing slightly against his chest. Eyes wide and lustblown, Cas watched him while he took off the dress shirt and slipped the blue tie over his head. "You're not playing fair Dean... again." Cas said in a husky voice. Dean smirked and kissed Cas on the shoulder. "Your turn will come. Here, give me a hand." Cas put his hand in Dean's. Dean helped him stand, wisely not commenting on the fact that the angel seemed just a bit out of balance. He lead Cas to the bed and told him to lay down. Then he crawled up the half naked angel until they were nose to nose. "I'm so lucky to have you, Cas." He kissed that nose. "You're amazing. Sexy..." Dean kissed his angel on the bolt of his jaw, making Cas gasp. "...Beautiful..." a kiss on the pulsepoint. "...And just perfect." Dean softly bit Cas in the neck. "Ah! Dean!" Cas moaned, his eyes fluttering shut.

"Please..." he begged, not knowing what he was asking for. "Dean... just... please..." Pleasure made him feel on fire and yet he couldn't move or even think. The feeling of Dean's lips, sliding down his neck, over his collarbone and down his chest got him breathing heavily. Then he felt Dean pull his lips off and Cas opened his eyes. Dean looked at him, his veridian eyes sparkling with mischief and lust. Cas felt desire course through him, to pool in his abdomen. "You ok, Cas?" Dean asked, his gruff voice even huskier. Cas nodded, swallowing around his dry throat. A devilish smirk played around the swollen, pink lips and Dean bent his head again. Cas felt his hips jerk involuntairily when Dean kissed his stomach and then dipped his tongue in Cas' bellybutton. "Dean!" It ripped from his throat and he could feel the grin against his belly. Cas was so preoccupied with what Dean was doing with his mouth, that he gasped when Dean pulled off his slacks. "Mmmm Cas, next time, we'll have to remove the shoes first." Dean mumbled. "This distracts me from kissing every inch of you." Cas breathed heavily and just hummed when Dean pulled off the shoes and socks. "There... now, where was I?" Cas tried to speak, but his throat didn't work. "Oh, Yeah...right about... here." Dean answered his own question and he let his tongue slide just above the elastic of Cas' boxers. Cas bucked his hips wildly.

"Deaaannn." Again that smile could be felt against his skin and Cas tried to pull Dean's head up for a kiss. "Nuh-uh, angel... I'm calling the shots." Dean said, his voice making Cas move his hips again. "You want a kiss, angel?" Cas nodded and he gasped: "Yes... yeesss... Dean... please... kiss me." Deep down Cas felt a little ashamed of begging like that, but when Dean let his lips slide over his mouth teasingly, all thoughts stopped and his eyes fell shut. "Cas..." Dean whispered in his ear, sending all kinds of tingly feelings down Cas' spine. "... I'm feeling kinda warm here..." Cas wrenched his eyes open. "Dean..." His beautiful love nuzzled his neck. "Help me out of these clothes, willya?" Cas felt his heart stutter, then kick into overdrive. He wanted that. He wanted to feel that satiny skin, to taste Dean's unique flavour on his tongue. His breathing got laboured and his hands shoved the green plaid over the hunter's broad shoulders. Drinking in the sight of Dean in that simple black t-shirt and those tight jeans, Cas suddenly felt Dean was still wearing too much. He rucked the shirt up and over Dean's head. The black tattoo stood out against the well muscled pects and Cas couldn't resist. He sat up and dipped his head towards it. He could Dean gasp in surprise when he didn't kiss it, but gave it a kitten lick. Seeing the tanned chest up this close, Cas noticed that the minute freckles on Dean's nose, cheeks and neck were not alone. His upperbody was covered in the tiny specks and Cas thought it was one of the most sexy things. "Dean... I love your freckles..." he hummed, kissing a few that made an interesting pattern. Dean breathed in deeply. "Yeah? Cause I don't. Freckles are ugly. Blemishes." Looking up, Cas saw that Dean wasn't joking for once. "That is not true. They make you even more interesting, and, how did you say that? Hot?" He turned his eyes back on the stretch of skin before him and tilted his head as he noticed something. His right hand came up and traced one of the groupings slowly. It lay just under to the tattoo and physically straight over Dean's heart.


	43. Chapter 43

Dean felt like he was burning up, even though he was just in his jeans. Cas licking his tattoo like a cute little kittycat had him rockhard in seconds. The whole 'cuddle' had turned into a delicious slow burner, and Dean felt he was riding a sexy rollercoaster. Next dip: Cas commenting on those stupid freckles. Next rise: Cas saying within seconds that those things were hot... Dean felt lightheaded with alcohol, fatigue and now desire. Cas tilted his head, his marvelous eyes squinting slightly as he peered at the skin of Dean's chest. His fingers started trailing over it and Dean felt like he would explode. All of a sudden Cas closed his eyes softly and Dean saw a tear roll down his cheek. "Cas? Angel, what's wrong?" Cas opened his eyes again. Dean could just glimpse a wild look in those cerulean depths before Cas pressed his mouth on Dean's and kissed him passionately. Desire rolled over Dean like a tsunami and he grabbed Cas by the head, deepening the kiss. Cas desperately ran his hands all over Dean, as if he was afraid he might disappear any second.

Dean pulled out of the kiss, his lips swollen and pink. Both he and Cas were breathing heavily, and the stared at eachother for a while. Without a word, Dean pushed Cas down again and let his mouth wander back down that lean frame. Cas moaned and arched from the bed. Dean let his hands slide down Cas' sides and down to that last barrier. He slipped his thumbs under the elastic and pulled off the boxers. Cas' erection sprang free and Dean eyed it hungrily. He'd never done this, but great god he wanted to now. A tiny bead of precum pearled at the tip and Dean licked his lips. Cas was still a virgin, and just diving in might spook him, so Dean pecked little kisses over his belly and interspaced them with kitten licks. He'd only just found out how sexy those were! Cas bucked his hips and moaned unintelligebly. Dean licked his lips again, swallowed and licked up the shaft of Cas' dick. "Oh!" Cas gasped in surprise, and he jerked his hips wildly. "Shshsh. It's okay, angel. I got you." Dean cooed and he did what he had wanted ever since he'd seen it. He lapped up that little bead, making Cas moan lustfully. Feeling daring, Dean took Cas into his mouth and started sucking and bobbing his head.

To his surprise, it felt great. He wanted to do this, it was hot and he felt amazing, because he made Cas writhe and buck his hips uncontrolably. Letting go, he looked at his angel's face. It was flushed, and Cas had thrown one arm up over his eyes. Dean smiled. "You like it, angel?" Cas lifted the arm slightly and peered at him from under it. "Yes..." came the breathless answer. "We can go two ways here. I can go back to doing this..." Cas moaned, and Dean felt his own dick twitch painfully in his too tight jeans. He swallowed. "... or we can actually have sex." Cas did a double take. "Oh my stars... Dean... I... I want..." Dean placed a kiss on the satiny shaft, making Cas buck again. "Dean! Please... let... let me finish... I want... you... all of you." That simple statement made Dean feel as if his heart was about to burst. "Ok..." he managed, his voice a bit strained with emotion. "Would... would you like to be on top?" He felt his cheeks burn, but he was willing to let Cas lose his cherry any way he wanted. Cas looked at him, his eyes liquid pools of blue. "No." he simply said, making Dean blink in surprise. "Eh.. what?"


	44. Chapter 44

Cas pulled up his mouth in a sexy smile. "I said no. I want to feel you." Dean gasped. "Oh god..." That sounded so hot! Placing one last kiss on Cas' dick, Dean crawled back up to Cas. "Are you sure, Cas?" Cas took Dean's head between his hands and kissed him. "Yes, Dean. Are you?" He looked into those incredibly blue eyes, seeing love and lust, and he felt whole for the first time in a long time. "Never more sure, angel." he said softly and kissed the slightly chapped, pink lips. Cas kissed him back and slid his hands under Dean's waistband and around his butt, squeezing lightly. Dean rocked his hips forward a bit in response, rubbing the rough fabric of his pants lightly against Cas's dick. His mouth still on Dean's, Cas groaned and his hands squeezed tighter. Dean undid his button and zipper and shoved his jeans down. Cas hummed happily and slid his, now free, hands under the boxer. "Cas..." The blue eyes sought out his, and Dean forgot what he wanted to say. He just pressed his mouth back down and hungrily kissed.

Cas gave as good as he got, nipping at Dean's lower lip, sucking it in and releasing it. The kisses got hotter, wilder and their hands wandered all over eachother's body. "Dean, Dean.. Dean!" Cas gasped. "Cas, angel, are you ready?" Cas nodded, his hand trailing up and down Dean's back. Dean reached for his plaid shirt and fished a tube out of the pocket. He placed it within reach and got back to making out, but this time his hands had a purpose. He let one slide down Cas' side and cupped one ass cheek. Cas moaned and moved his hips. Dean slipped his tongue over that pink lower lip and the moaning increased. Cas opened his mouth and let Dean's tongue in. Dean let it do what came naturally, while he dedicated his attention lower. His hand rubbed a bit, slowly nearing the crack, and then one of his fingers brushed the entrance. Cas moved almost unknowingly and pressed down. Dean kissed him and with his other hand, he grabbed the lube.

Proficient as he may be between the sheets, Dean found it hard to keep kissing and uncap the tube at the same time. Finally he felt the cap come off and he slicked up his fingers well. Cas winced a bit at the coolness of the lube, but when Dean found his hole again, he gladly pushed down to the finger that pressed against it. He gasped when it slid in and Dean bit his lip. "You ok?" he asked, scared he had hurt his angel. The sexy smile and lust filled eyes were all the answer he needed. "Yes." Cas rasped and moved. 'Holy... oh god! That's hot!' Dean thought wildly and he moved his finger, sliding it out a bit and then back in. Cas threw his head back. "Mmmmm. Please... go on." Dean kept going and after a while, when Cas got less and less coherent, he got in a second digit, and a third.


	45. Chapter 45

**Pre-Christmas treat for all you lovely unicorns! Double posting! Have a great Christmas and I hope to see you all next year!**

By now Cas was making the most delicious sounds and Dean felt he would burst. Still he didn't stop fingering. Worried he would scare Cas if he were to replace his fingers with his dick, he tried to find the prostate. When his middlefinger rubbed it, Cas almost flew off the bed. Gasping, Cas put a hand on Dean's wrist. "Take me, Dean, please." he growled, making Dean almost come in his boxers. Carefully he slid his fingers out. Cas whimpered at the loss. "Turn around, Cas. It's supposed to be better for the first time, if you're on all fours." Without a word, Cas turned over.

Dean watched, admired the movement of the muscles under the skin of Cas' back. "Cas... oh god you're hot, babe." Dean gasped and grabbed the lube to slick himself up. He carefully aligned himself, but Cas suddenly moved and he felt Cas slide over his tip. "Ah! C-Cas! Careful!" Cas growled. "I'm done being careful. Please, Dean, I need you." Something inside Dean went 'Ping!' and he grabbed Cas by the hips. Pressing down bit by bit, Dean allowed himself to admire Cas' back again, to keep focussed. He didn't want to blow this by getting off almost at the start. He rolled his hips and saw Cas arch his back in a bit. The silky rolling of the muscles was both a turn on and relaxing. Dean started moving again and the little movements of muscle on that back as he did, enthralled him.

He set a higher pace and Cas moved to meet him. Liquid heat started to build in his loins, and he could feel Cas tremble beneath him. Cas was way past uttering understandable words, but he kept gasping Dean's name over and over. "Cas... oh, Cas. You're so amazing." Dean mumbled and he let his right hand stroke along the bumps of Cas' spine. Cas arched his back in a snap when it reached his shoulderblades and the moan was almost animalistic. The glass on the nightstand cracked. Aroused, Dean pushed in all the way and kissed Cas on the point where he said his wing started. Cas locked up and cried out. "DEAN!" His ass clenched around Dean and Dean could feel himself tumbling over the edge, "C-Cas!" he gasped before the bliss hit.

When Dean set the tip of his dick against him, Cas couldn't care less about caution, so he pushed. When he felt Dean breach him, tingles shot through him and the gasp Dean gave, made them even stronger. After his growled answer, Dean finally threw caution to the winds and moved. Cas felt Dean's cock throb and slide in bit by bit and he wanted it to go on forever. Dean rolled his hips and the movement made Cas tense up. If this was sex, he now knew why Dean loved it so much. Dean's movements were getting faster and Cas felt himself following, almost subconsiously. ' _My word..._ ' Cas started thinking, but the more they moved, the less he could think. "Dean. Dean. Deaaaannn." he gasped, not knowing why, but still doing it. When Dean answered that he was amazing, Cas felt the warmth that was building in his belly, fill up his heart too. Dean's hand slid up his spine and when it reached the joint of Cas' wing, stars exploded behind Cas' eyes. Sparks flew up his wings and down his spine. Cas arched and moaned. In a reaction, Dean pushed deep and when Cas felt Dean kiss on the same spot, it felt like a dam burst and he flew off. Riding the tidalwave, Cas was vaguely aware that Dean tensed up and he could feel his cock inside him, throbbing and then squirting. It felt amazing to know he had the power to do that to Dean and it added to his high.


	46. Chapter 46

Slowly riding out his orgasm, Cas realised that Dean was partially slumped over him, his head between Cas' wings. "You..." Dean said, his voice low and husky, "... are the most amazing person ever." Cas smiled, his nose filled with Dean's scent, his heart filled with Dean, he felt amazing. "Allow me to reply in kind." Dean chuckled. "I can tell the two glasses of whiskey have worn off." Cas looked over his shoulder at him. "Glasses? I meant bottles." Dean' eyes grew comically round. "What?" Dean pulled back and Cas sighed at the loss. "Yes. I drank two bottles worth, I think." Dean propped himself up on one elbow. "You're kidding? How are you alive, let alone coherent, and even well enough to be amazing at sex?" The compliment wasn't lost on Cas and he blushed. "You think I was good?" Dean tilted his head. "No. I think you were brilliant." Cas rolled over to face him. "I think you were amazing too, Dean. You're a caring lover." Dean hung his head bashfully. "Awe shucks, Cas. C'mere." He pulled Cas in and Cas snuggled in his embrace. When he opened his eyes, he found his nose almost pressed against the scattering of freckles under Dean's tattoo. With a soulful sigh, he placed his hand on top of them.

"Cas?" Dean quietly asked. Cas hummed softly, his fingers tracing over Dean's chest again. "Why is my chest so interesting all of a sudden?" Cas' fingers stopped, then resumed their trailing of that small stretch of skin. "Nothing. It is not of import right now. Sleep, Dean, you need it." Dean huffed. "Right. About four hours worth, then I'm ok." Cas kissed his chest. "Just go to sleep already. I'll watch over you." That tickled his funny bone. "What are you? My nanny?" Cas smiled into his skin. "No. But I care, Dean, so I want you to be safe and sound." Dean made a non-committal sound in his throat. "Night, angel." Cas felt a soft kiss on his head and heard Dean's happy sigh as he turned on his back, arm slung over Cas' shoulder. "Goodnight, human." Dean chuckled and cuddled Cas closer. With his angelic hearing, Cas could just make out the quiet remark. "Silly goose."

They lay like that for a while, Cas resting his head on Dean's chest, and eventually Dean's breath evened out and softened. Cas let his fingers trail the freckle constellation once again. How odd that he would see the pattern almost imediately. He recognised it just as fast and it had hit him like a suckerpunch to the heart. After a while, Cas sighed and closed his eyes. "Cas." Dean's voice was raspy with sleep and it did funny things to Cas' vertibrea. "If it is 'not of import', why do you keep tickling me?" Cas' eyes flew open and he looked up, only to find Dean's veridian eyes twinkling down on him. "Come on... out with it." Cas blinked a few times and licked his lips. "Dean, how long have you had these?" he managed, his fingers trailing the freckles yet again. Looking down, Dean shrugged. "As long as I can remember. I always thought they looked like foreign writing, like Russian, or Chinese, or something." Cas sighed. "Well. I must commend your insight." Dean tilted his head. "What?" Looking into those beautiful eyes, Cas smiled a bit ruefully. "They are indeed letters." A soft smile lit Dean's face. "Really? What kind? Does it say anything?" Cas nodded, feeling his mouth pull up at one corner, in an irony filled smile. "They are Enochian, angel writing. And yes, they do spell out something." He could feel Dean's excitement. "Seriously? What? What does it say?" Cas locked his eyes onto Dean's. "Castiël. It spells out Castiël."


	47. Chapter 47

**Happy New Year, my lovely readers! Time to update this thing! I have been cornered by life, and have finally been able to wrench myself free for a bit. Enjoy!**

All weariness evaporated at Cas' answer. "Excuse me?" Dean managed. "I have had your name graffitied on my body for, like, all my life? In goddamn freckles?" Dean searched those cerulean depths, but he couldn't find a trace of humour. "Yes." Cas answered, lowering his eyes unhappily. Dean was shocked, but he didn't want Cas to be unhappy about it. To be honest, it was a bit frightening, but also a lot of awesome. It felt like his heart had been meant for Cas all along. Quickly, Dean lifted up Cas by the chin. "Don't be like that, Cas. It's okay. Honestly it is. It's scary, but also kinda cool." Cas looked up at him, eyes uncertain. "You really think so?" Dean smiled. "Yeah, I do. It's like a tattoo that links me to you. Hell, I might even let them be inked in." Cas smiled weakly. "Don't do that. I like them just as they are. I meant it when I said I love your freckles." This new information had made Dean like his freckles a bit more too. He kissed his angel softly. "Then I won't. I just wish you had a mark like that too." Cas smiled and kissed him back. "Maybe I will get a tattoo of your name in Enochian." Dean chuckled. "Naah... you're beautiful as you are." He hugged Cas and snuggled back down. "Castiël in freckles... awesome." He sighed happily, closing his green eyes. "Night, Cas." Dean could feel Cas place his head back on his shoulder and his hand on his chest. "Night, Dean." Dean felt happy and relaxed and he drifted off, dreaming of seeing the stars spell out his name next to Cas'.

"Dean! Time to get your lazy ass out of bed!" Dean turned his head, glancing at the ancient alarmclock on the night stand. "Crap... Almost ten?" Then he became aware of the warm weight that was holding him down. He tuned his head the other way and met two amazingly blue eyes. "Good morning, Dean." Cas grumbled, his voice raspy. And was Dean mistaking, or did those eyes actually look sleepy? "Morning angel. How did you sleep?" Cas stretched, and Dean had trouble to keep from bending down and kissing him silly. Cas, all stretchy and naked next to him... It was very distracting. "I think I actually did sleep..." Cas said wonderingly. "Huh, figure that." Cas turned his blue eyes back on Dean. "Maybe the alcohol did affect me a bit more than I thought." Dean chuckled. "A bit more? I still say you were pretty smashed." That earned him a dirty look. "Dean! Come on! Get Cas to come down too! I think Bobby has finally found something!" Sam hollered from downstairs. "C'mon, angel. Time to get back to the Apocalypse." Dean said and kissed Cas on the head before slipping out of bed and into his boxers and t-shirt.

Sam was standing at the bottom of the stairs with a mug of steaming coffee in his hands. "Mmmm. Sammy, you're a peach!" Dean grumbled, reaching out. With a nasty smile, Sam pulled it back. "Nuh-uh. Mine. You go get your own." Bleary eyed, Dean looked up at his brother, resisting the urge to punch him. "Why?" Sam cocked his head and sassily replied: " Because I made this, and you and Cas were too lazy to get up in time." Dean glared at him, tugging at the leg of his boxer. "Allright. Bitch." That got him a sassy headtoss. "Jerk." He really, really needed his coffee, so he let Sam have this one and turned away to the kitchen. Behind him he could hear the stairs creak as Cas came down. "Morning, Cas! Sleep well?" Sam cheerily asked, sarcasm just thinly veiled, and Dean hurried into the kitchen before he did punch his annoying little brother. As he grabbed the coffeepot, Dean could hear Cas' surprised answer. "Yes, I actually did sleep, Sam. It seems alcohol has an effect on me." Snorting, Dean poured his coffee. "Oh... wow... who knew. Well, there's coffee in the kitchen, if you want any." Dean quietly grinned around his cup. When Sam walked in, Dean carefully deadpanned. "Did you... have you... did he actually..." Dean looked up innocently. "What? Something on your mind, Sam?" Sam frowned. "Did you two..." he started again. Dean grinned. "Share a bed? Yeah, we did, and yes, Cas really slept. He downed two bottles of whiskey last night. I think that might have had a bit of an effect on him." Sam's eyes widened and he gasped. "Two bottles! How did he manage that?" Cas, fully clothed, the bastard, reached around him to grab Dean's coffee from him. "I refilled while you weren't looking, how else? Coming?"


	48. Chapter 48

Cas caught Sam looking at him with a studying look several times. At first he thought nothing of it and kept his attention on Bobby, as he explained how he thought mixing the Seal of Solomon with a cursebox might get Lilith out of the way. But after a few times, it started grating on his nerves. "I think this has a very high chance of working, mr. Singer." Bobby smirked at him. "Just Bobby, please. I feel old if ya call me that." Cas nodded in agreement. "Bobby. I would say this is definitely worth a shot." Again, Cas caught Sam looking at him as if he was something worthy of studying. "Sam? Do you have something to ask?" Sam snapped out of it and looked a bit caught. "Yeah, well, actually..." Dean rolled his eyes. "Out with it..." he snapped and Cas shot him a glance. "Well, I was wondering... Aren't you hung over? I mean... two bottles!" Sam seemed more than impressed, and Cas tilted his head. "Hung over?" That got a huff from Dean. "Yeah. He means a headache like a marching band has taken up residence in your skull, and a feeling like you wanna toss your cookies as soon as you smell food. You know, the aftermath of drinking too much." Cas thought about that. "No. No. I don't think I feel any of that." Bobby's eyebrows disappeared under his cap and Dean burst out laughing. "Cas, you're awesome!" Cas felt a blush creep up his cheeks and he wanted to kiss Dean, but the wondering glance that Bobby cast between him and Dean stopped him.

The gobsmacked face Sam made, when Cas said he didn't feel anything like hung over, had Dean in stitches. That should teach Sam to doubt their angel. His angel. His awesome, amazing angel. Dean felt proud and lucky at the same time. If it hadn't been for Bobby, he would have pulled Cas in for a kiss. "Well, now that we have satisfied Sam's curiousity, can we get back to stopping the friggin' Apocalypse?" Bobby growled, bending back over his lore books. "The only thing that I haven't figured out, is how we get the demon bitch to wander willingly into the Seal." Sobering up, Dean rubbed his mouth. "Got me there, Bobby." He looked up. "Cas? Have you got any tricks up your sleeve?" Cas wandered over and leaned in, ostentatiously to glance at Bobby's notes, but he laid a hand on Dean's. Dean stiffened, and Bobby shot him a glance. "None that I can think up now. But we might see if my brother is willing to help out." The suspicious glaring Bobby was doing, his eyes flicking from Dean to Cas, stopped and his eyes widened a bit. "You mean Gabriel? Ya think he won't be on Michael's side?" Cas sighed sadly, and Dean wanted to stroke his hair and comfort him. ' _Good grief! When did I turn into such a sap?_ ' Instead he put a hand on Cas' shoulder and squeezed.

Cas felt the old pain tug at him. "Gabriel has left Heaven ages ago. He couldn't stand the fighting between Michael and Lucifer. So, one day, he was just gone. But I think I have sensed his Grace around a few times, about a year ago." Dean glanced at Sam, who shrugged. "Since Gabriel left Heaven to avoid picking a side, I think we are safe to assume that he still doesn't want to pick a side." Bobby frowned. "To assume is putting an ass before you and me, but what choice do we have? Give the guy a ring." Cas pinched his brow in a confused frown. "I don't think he has a phone, to be honest." Dean put his arm across his shoulder and hugged slightly. "I think it should work if we prayed to the guy, right?" Blushing, Cas leaned into the hug a bit. "Maybe. I'm not sure he will answer though." Sam tilted his head wonderingly. "Why wouldn't he?" Dean pulled his thinking pout, making Cas lick his lips. He so wanted to kiss those pink lips until Dean was gasping for air. "Well, Sam, he skipped out of the game. I think he might want to stay hidden." Cas smiled thankfully at him, but Dean turned his eyes on him and they were full of apologies. "On the other hand, he was your favorite brother, wasn't he? Could you please try?" Cas swallowed hard. ' _Well darn it! I should never have told him how his eyes affect me! How can I refuse those eyes?_ ' He hung his head. "I can. But I think it wise if I were to be alone. Gabriel has a bit of an unstable temper."


	49. Chapter 49

**Thanks to Fanpire101 for kicking my Muse in the butt with just one simple remark. Enjoy everyone!**

Cas had wandered off to his room, to attempt calling in his big brother, and Dean missed him already. ' _Geez. I hope this sappy stuff wears thin soon. It's hard to concentrate on preventing the End to end all Endings when I can't see past those amazing eyes or those tempting lips..._ ' Dean thought and sighed wistfully. "I wonder why Cas could feel his brother's Grace last year. Must have done something pretty big to have it noticed after so long." Sam said and his hazel eyes were trained on his brother. Dean shrugged. "Who knows? Any miracles happen this time last year? I was a bit pre-occupied with going to Hell to keep an eye out." He saw Sam shift his gaze to Bobby, who looked uneasy too. "Well? Wanna share with the class?" Sam heaved a big breath and Bobby grabbed a bottle of whiskey, even though it was just after eleven. Dean kept staring them down. Finally, Sam cracked. "Mystery Spot." he said swiftly, as to get it over with. Dean turned his head, as if he hadn't heard. "What was that?" Sam did his exasperated 'I-don't-wanna-do-this' head move and licked his lips, before glaring at Dean. Who was suitably unimpressed. "Mystery Spot. We were caught in Mystery Spot this time last year." Dean pouted his lips. "Hm. But that was a timeloop the Trickster had made. Nothing angelic or miraculous about that."

Bobby let his head fall to his left shoulder, his eyes weary. "You didn't keep stuff from him, did ya?" he asked, and there was resignation in his gruff voice. Sam tapped all tips of his righthand fingers on the table nervously. "Might have..." he conceded softly, and Bobby rolled his whole head along with his eyes. "When will you idjets learn to be honest with eachother?" Sam ducked his head, and Dean felt trepidition fill him up. "What am I missing?" he asked cautiously. No answer. "Sam?" Sam worried his lip between his teeth. "It was when I broke the loop, well, more after I broke it." Dean frowned. "We caught the bastard, and he broke it, end of story. We never saw him again." Sam looked at Bobby pleadingly, but Bobby crossed his arms. "You kept it a secret, not me." Bobby said with finality. Sam sat down on a chair, hard, as if something had broken. "Not quite end of story, Dean... see, when we were leaving and you were packing Baby, I got the last stuff." Dean opened his mouth, but Bobby put a hand on his arm and silently shook his head. "I heard a shot..." Sam said, voice so low Dean had to lean in to hear. "... you... you were lying on the parking lot, bleeding out. I kept trying to wake up, but I didn't..." Tears were sliding down Sam's face and dripping on his clasped hands. "You were gone, Dean... really gone... The loop was broken, so no turning back." He looked up, his chameleon eyes dark grey with grief, but also anger. "I wanted to kill that Trickster so bad... I hunted mainly for him, taking other jobs at the side." Wordlessly, Dean took Sam's tear soaked hands in his own. Bobby filled the silence. "He scared the living crap outta me, I can tell ya that. He was so focussed. Reminded me of John, just after... ya know. Never called, never answered calls. If I hadn't heard from others who bumped into him, I might as well had lost him too." Dean blanched. He never thought Sam could be like that.

"How... what... what happened?" he rasped. Sam's mouth quirked humourlessly. " Months ... so many frigging months, I hunted that SOB. Then I get a call from Bobby, that he got him." Dean glanced at his surrogate father, but Bobby deadpanned. "When I got there... no Trickster. Bobby was there, and he basically told me that we needed all the blood from one human to trap it. Something felt off... so, I thought it was him, posing as Bobby. I killed him, but of course it wasn't him... just a mirage again." Sam's shoulders tensed a bit. "That asshat had the nerve to chew me out. To tell me to..." He glanced up at Dean. "... to stop trying to save you." His eyes shone with tears. "How could I, Dean? You were gone, but still... I had to find a way." Dean remembered how devestated Sam had seemed when he told him no demon would deal for him, that he couldn't get Dean back. "It's ok, Sammy. I would have done the same. Hell, I did do the same!" Dean said softly, squeezing his brother's big hands. "I begged and begged him to give you back... to turn back time... Finally, he gave in. Said it had stopped being 'fun'." The bitterness with which Sam said the last word... Dean had never thought he would hear the word fun and not think it funny at all. "He just snapped his frigging fingers, and we were back... back at that Wednesday." Sam sighed tremulously. "That's why you squeezed the ever loving crap outta me..." Dean mused. Sam scoffed and wiped one big hand over his face. "Yeah..." Dean got up, pulling Sam along, and hugged his little brother so tight. "Geez Sammy... I'm sorry..." Sam hugged back and they both blinked back tears. "If I ever get my hands on that Trickster... I'm gonna rip out his lungs!" Dean growled.


	50. Chapter 50

**Great Chuck! Never thought this fic would grow this big! 50 chapters, and counting... Well, enjoy!**

Cas sat on the bed he and Dean had shared and he sighed. How did humans do this? He knelt, folded his hands and looked at the ceiling. "Gabriel... brother. Please. I know you must hear this. I have to believe you do. Please, help us. Help me..." So many feelings churned in his chest, that Cas slumped and let go of any and all pretense. "I miss you Gabriel... please answer... I'm confused as to what is expected of me." He sighed and sat there, on the cold wooden floor, not sure of what would happen. "Castiël. As I live and breathe. Hello little brother." Cas snapped his head up and a smile graced his face. "Gabriel!" Cas hurridly got to his feet. "I never thought you would be the one to call me, Castiël. Honestly, I'm surprised, and honoured." Cas tilted his head in confusion. "Honoured? Why would you be honoured? I'm nothing but a low soldier. Yes, I saved Dean Winchester, but only by chance." Gabriel smiled and shook his head. "Low soldier indeed. Castiël, you are one of a kind. You were meant to get the Righteous Man out." He scoffed. "Who'd have thought it, huh? Dean friggin' Winchester, the Righteous Man... that boy has a lot on his plate... Righteous Man... Michael's vessel... boy oh boy... he is a full barrel of trouble, with a capital T." Cas fidgeted. He always was a bit overwhelmed by Gabriel's chatter.

"Anywho, babybro... why are you confused?" Cas hung his head and sat back in the bed. "I have found a chance to stop the Apocalypse from even starting, but when I told Michael about it, he basically ordered me to keep my nose out and let the Winchesters start the stupid thing." Gabriel pouted in thought. "Hmmm. Ever think that he might want it to happen?" Cas gasped in shock. "Why ever would he want that? It would destroy at least a third of the planet!" Gabriel scoffed. "So? Mr. High-and-Mighty Michael doesn't give a rat's ass about the planet. He just wants to be right, and so does Lucifer. So when those clowns get their grubby claws on he Winchester boys, all Hell will indeed break loose." Gabriel sighed. "Too bad the planet will burn over a temper tantrum from two overgrown toddlers, but... whaddaya gonna do?" Cas balled his fists. "Stop it. The Winchesters and I, we found a way. But we need a trick to lure Lilith into a Seal of Solomon. That's where you come in." Gabriel raised an unbelieving eyebrow. "Excuse me? I'm sorry, baby bro, but I refuse to have anything to do with this little tiff between Mike and Luci."

Cas bit his lower lip. "But Gabriel, we are trying to prevent the last seal from breaking. So there won't be any fighting..." Gabriel pouted in thought. "Could be wholesome for those arrogant jerks, if humanity spoked their wheel... make them see humans aren't all that bad." Manifesting a sucker, he winked at Cas. "You got yourself Trickster-aid." Exited, Cas jumped up and hugged Gabriel, who was taken aback a bit. "Whoa, Castiël... when did you become a hugger?" Grinning, Cas let go. "I learned a lot from Sam and Dean. I'll go get them." Alarmed, Gabriel grabbed Cas by the arm. "I'd rather you didn't." Surprised, Cas stopped. "Why not?" Looking a bit ashamed, Gabriel glanced at him. "I might have, erm... messed with them a bit..." Cas sighed and cast a weary look at his big brother. "You are joking... what did you do?" Gabriel smiled his Trickster smile. "Oh, too much to explain..." He floundered at Castiël's asture gaze. "But mainly I threw them in a timeloop. In which Dean died..." Cas gasped. "Aaaand when they caught me, I stopped the loop, but still let Dean die. Sam hunted me for months after... When he caught me, I set back time to the last time Dean died, but now he didn't. So.. all is good, right?" Cas shook his head. "If you were 'just a trickster' I would stake you myself. How dare you mess with their hearts like that!" Gabriel cast a sheepish look at him. "I didn't know Dean would be the Righteous Man... I though he'd go down and stay there... I wanted to help Sam accept..." Cas shook his head. "Oh, you had better apologise... and grovel. I am certain they would skin you if they would get the chance. And I cannot fault them." Gabriel hung his head meekly. "Yes, Castiël... just... don't tell them I'm me." Cas rolled his eyes. "I won't lie." he said adamantly. Gabriel sighed and scuffed his shoe. "Fine..."


	51. Chapter 51

Dean's head shot up from his hug with Sam, when he heard the stairs creak. Cas came down them, but he looked wary. "Cas? What's wrong?" Cas turned his blue eyes towards him and Dean swore he saw an apology in them. He let go of Sam and hurried over. "Cas... Talk to me. What is the matter?" Cas heaved a big sigh. "Come on, brother. Quit stalling." he said over his shoulder. Dean let his worried look flash to the top of the stairs and his eyes widened when a foot appeared around the corner. "It worked?!" he asked Cas exitedly. Cas nodded miserably. "I'm sorry, Dean." he whispered. "Sorry? Why?" In the back of his head he wondered how bad an Archangel would be, if Cas was sorry. He looked back up the stairs and growled deep in his throat. "You!" His hand flashed towards his back, but a snap sounded and Dean found himself pinned to the wall, unable to move. Glancing out the corner of his eyes, he saw Sam and Bobby in he same predicament. "Sorry, Dean-o. But I can't have you plunging that knife in me, before I get a chance to get a word in." Sauntering in full view was the Trickster.

"You!" Sam gasped and Dean could see him straining to move, to get free and get his hands on the guy. "What the Hell, Cas? You were supposed to talk to your brother. How did this asshat pop up?" Cas looked absolutely miserable. "So, so sorry, Sam. But this... this is my brother." Dean felt his heart sink. "You're kidding..." The Trickster make a mocking bow. "Gabriel, at your service." He smirked, as he slowly descended the stairs. "Look at you... the Vessels... all grown up, all ready to do battle." ' _Damn! Shut up, you sugarhigh idiot!_ ' Dean swore in his head. Sam frowned. "What?" Dean quickly intervened. "We're trying to prevent battle, Trickster. So ready or not, doesn't matter, does it?" The guy stopped in front of him. "Too right, Dean-o... but first..." He snapped his fingers again, and they ended up sitting on the sofa, around the coffeetable, each with their favorite drink and snack in front of them. "... I need to apologise. I am so sorry for messing with you guys the way I did. It was uncalled for."

Bobby cuffed him around the back of his head and he looked around baffled. "That's for messing with my boys. Be glad it's just a cuf at the head. If I knew what could hurt an Archangel I'd have done more. Now explain." Dean chuckled and Sam grinned. "Thanks, Bobby." Sam said. Cas sat down on the armrest, next to Dean, and Dean couldn't resist. He let his arm sneak behind his angel and cupped his hand over Cas' hip. Cas flashed him a look, but didn't react in any other way. Dean smiled softly and looked at the guy with the caramel coloured hair. "So, Gabriel... why play a demi-god, when you're an Archangel?" Gabriel sighed. "I got so freaking tired of my elder brothers. Nothing but fighting, bickering and blaming eachother for everything. I mean... you're both brothers, and you know how you can bicker, but Sunday dinner with Mike and Luci, well... I think the Apocalypse might describe it best." Sam raised his eyebrows and Dean felt the corner of his mouth pull up. "Seriously?" Gabriel nodded. "Each tried to get me on their side, but I didn't want to pick a side... I just wanted the fighting to stop. That's why I started pranking them, to divert their attention."


	52. Chapter 52

Dean let his fingers slide up and down Cas' hip and Cas pressed into the gesture. Smiling happily, Dean listened at Gabriel explaining why he skipped out of Heaven and went into 'witness protection'. "I spent a few centuries playing Loki to the Vikings. That was fun!" Sam shook his head, his eyes sparkling. "Only you.." he smiled. Gabriel fixed him with a faux-innocent stare. "What?" Sam said nothing, but Dean thought he saw a dusting of pink on his cheeks. ' _Well now... isn't that interesting..._ ' He decided to distract the Archangel, and watch his babybrother a bit. "Fun as that may have been... back to the near End of Ends... When did you know about this whole Vessel thing?" Gabriel ducked his head. "As soon as your mother bore Sam, I'm afaid." He smiled sadly. "It's a bloodline thing. Your Dad didn't have any siblings, so he was out. But any pair of brothers from that particular bloodline was True Vessel material." Sam shifted uneasily. "You mean to say I'm a True Vessel too?" Dean rubbed his eyes with his left hand. ' _Well, shit._ ' Gabriel raised his eyebrows. "Yeah, Samsquatch, that's exactly what I mean. Didn't my baby bro tell you?" Cas shuffled on the armrest, when Sam threw him an angry look. "You knew? And you didn't tell me?"

"Calm your tits, Sammy. I asked him to." That made Dean the target of that angry laser stare. "Of course. Don't tell Sammy. He can't handle stuff this big..." Dean frowned at the mocking tone. "Shut up. You were still under Ruby's glamour. We only just got you loose. Would you have reacted in a calm and collected way if we'd have told you then that you would be the Vessel for Lucifer? I don't think so. I nearly lost it when I heard." Sam clenched his jaws and his hazel eyes still shot sparks, but at least he shut up. "Sam, those dicks upstairs want us to fight to the death. I for one am not planning on giving in. But when Ruby still called the shots, she'd have used your determination to stay out of Lucifer's grasp, to get you to kill Lilith. It was a close call now. Wanna guess how it could have gone if you knew?" Sam swallowed. "De... we must get Lilith soon. What if the angels decide to gank her themselves?"

A cold chill filled Dean and he looked at Cas. "Is that a posibility?" Cas looked back, his eyes wide and scared. "I'm not sure..." A pointed clearing of a throat made them all look at Gabriel. "Not likely to happen, bucko. They'd want Sambo to be at least near when the cage opens, so Luci can walk the Earth instantly." Simultaniously, four relieved sighs echoed through the room. "But..." Gabriel said, raising a finger. "... I wouldn't bet on it. So, let's get crackin'. Lock the bitch up, keep my assinine brothers at bay." He smiled at Sam mischeivously. "I'm growing too fond of your sasquatch-ass. I wouldn't like to find Luci squatting in that big head." Dean sharply looked at Sam and smirked slightly when he saw a blush creep up Sam's neck. Then he turned his eyes to Gabriel and noted the smile softening. "So,Gabe. Got any ideas on how to catch us a Hell-bitch?"


	53. Chapter 53

Dean dragged his feet up the stairs. Emotionally draining as the day had been, most of his fatigue came from trying to keep up with Gabriel. The Archangel was no less bouncy than the Trickster. Just a bit more serious, and that's why Dean had to keep up with him. The guy was immensely intelligent and most of that intelligence was directed to making the perfect pranks. His plan for catching Lilith was equal parts genius and scary. It had a very good chance of working, but the risks were astronomical. He sighed and pushed the door to his room open. His bed had never looked more appealing, so he forfeited undressing and just flopped on his belly, his eyes sliding shut as his nose hit the pillow.

"Dean." Dean scrunched up his nose and mumbled into his pillow. "Dean..." Wondering if pretending to be asleep was viable, Dean defiantly snuggled down in the downy softness of his bed. Only to have his eyes flick open when soft, chapped lips brushed his neck. "Dean... I was wondering if you wanted to 'cuddle' some more." Cas' gravelly voice was husky and it's timbre stirred things in Dean's belly. A blush rose to his cheeks when he remembered their last 'cuddletime'. He turned over to find Cas sitting next to him, Indian style. "Do... do you wanna cuddle, Cas?" he croaked, trying to be suave and unphased, but failing spectaculairly. Cas' eyes lit up. "I'm not aversed, Dean. I liked our last cuddle a lot." Dean smiled. "That wasn't really cuddling, Cas. That was more...ehm..." He floundered. Cas smiled right back. "Mindblowing sex?" Dean swallowed his tongue and he spluttered. "Ehm..." *cough cough* "Yeah... that..." Cas grinned, all scrunchy nose and gums. His eyes twinkled mischeivously, and suddenly Dean could see the family resemblance with Gabriel. "Well, then I should rephrase my question, shouldn't I? Do you want to have more mindblowing sex?" Dean felt his cheeks burn like the fires of Hell and he somehow couldn't find his voice, so he nodded mutely. Next thing he knew, Cas had pressed his mouth onto Dean's possesively, his tongue licking along his bottomlip. Dean moaned, opening his mouth to grant Cas access.

Panting, Dean broke free. "Cas..." Cas hummed and kissed him again. Dean pushed free again. "Cas... not that I'm complaining, but what brought this on?" Cas kissed along his cheek to his jaw. "You rubbed my hip all the time we were talking. I thought it very... distracting." Dean licked his lips. He hadn't been aware that he had done that. Something sparked in his sleepy, lust filled mind and he smiled. He let his hands wander down Cas' back to cup his butt. "Really... so this..." Dean squeezed lightly. "... is distracting?" Cas gasped, then moaned. "Yes." He pressed his head against Dean's forehead. "Very much so." Dean chuckled, squeezed once more, and let his hands track up and under Cas' dress shirt. Cas shivered, as Dean's hands trailed between his shoulderblades. In the back of Dean's mind a door opened, and Dean remembered how Cas reacted to caresses there. Something to do with wings... He grinned like a bobcat, rubbing his fingers along the indent at the point of one of the shoulderblades. Cas bucked, pressing his body against Dean. "D..Dean..." Cas moaned, his eyes wide and dark. "For mindblowing sex, we need to be a lot more naked, Cas..." Dean muttered, his voice rough. Cas panted, pressing his back up into Dean's hands. "Then undress me..." he rasped, his voice scattering shivers down Dean's spine. "Sit up, Cas. I wanna strip you." His eyes widening, Cas sat up, trembling in anticipation. Dean slowly sat up and slid his hands back to the front of Cas' shirt, making the angel shudder. He smoothly popped the buttons and slid his hands underneath. "Mmh. Sexy..." he rumbled. Cas gasped. "D-Dean... please..."


	54. Chapter 54

With a predatory grin, Dean slipped the shirt off, making sure his fingers slid over the sensitive area on Cas' back. Cas shuddered violently, moaning deep in his throat. A plan was forming in Dean's mind. He pulled off his own shirt, noting how Cas let his eyes dart to the spot where his name was freckled on Dean's pects. ' _Perfect_...' Dean licked his lips. "Cas... I wanna see if you really don't have my name somewhere... Stand." Cas got to his feet. He let his hands slip to the button of Cas' slacks, making Cas gasp and breath heavily. Dean pulled off pants and boxers in one go. "Now... let me see, Cas." he cooed, crawling off the bed to drink in every inch of skin Cas now showed. His hands trailed over Cas' sides while he circled the trembling angel. "Mmmmm. So beautiful..." Dean hummed, stepping close. Cas exhaled shiveringly, closing his eyes. Dean pressed up against his back, letting his hands crawl up and over the pale chest. "Why are you trembling, Cas?" Dean rumbled into his ear. "D-Dean... you are killing me..." Cas answered, leaning into his chest. Dean kissed his shoulder, trailing down to his back. The first kiss pressed to the spot where Cas said his wings started, had Cas buck his hips with a gasp. Dean grinned into the muscles of Cas' back and kissed further down, right to the small of the back.

Cas keened softly. Dean traced back up, and when he got to that sweet spot again, he gave it a kittenlick. "Dean!" Cas called and his knees gave way. Dean grabbed him around the waist and laid him on the bed, stomach down. Keeping Cas' wrists pinned over his head with one hand, Dean kissed the slender neck, the strong shoulders and repeated the kittenlick. Cas mewled into the pillows. "Dean... please... please..." Grinning wickedly, Dean licked a stripe all along the edge of one shoulderblade. Cas bucked wildly and threw his head back with a deep moan. "Sensitive, angel?" Cas growled, pulled his hands free and in the bat of an eye, Dean was on his back, staring up at two lustfilled cerulean pools. "You tease." Cas growled, bearing his teeth a little. Dean felt his dick respond. "Cas..." he gasped. Cas wildly pressed their mouths together, and Dean gave in. He opened his mouth and let the angel ravage it with his tongue. Cas' hands felt like fire, running up and down, all over his body. Dean grinded his hips, making Cas break the kiss. "Cas... please... I need you, angel." Cas stripped off Dean's remaining clothes. "Mine." his angel growled and Dean thought that was about the most sexy thing ever. He pressed up his hips, begging silently. Cas looked at him, at his cock, and growled in the back of his throat. "Cas, angel... take me. Please..."

Cas tilted his head. "Don't you need to be prepared? I know I did, and you are so much more fragile..." Dean balked at that. "Then do it already... please, Cas... I need you. I want you..." Cas grabbed the lube, and got right to work. Within minutes Dean was a writhing mess, and he loved it. Cas hit his prostate two out of three times and Dean rode the sparks. "C-Cas... Caaassss." He hissed as his angel hit the jackpot again. "Yes, Dean?" He actually sounded amused! Dean bit his lip, willing to get other words out, before the coiling heat broke loose. "Cas... hurry... so... uhn.. so close!" he managed. Cas took his cue and Dean whimpered when he took his fingers out. It felt so empty... Just moments later, he felt Cas press against him, breach him, and he was more full than before. It burned a bit, but that subsided and then it felt so nice... Cas pushed further, and Dean gasped. "Ok... 'm ok... more." he plead. Cas inched in until Dean felt his hips against his thighs. "Cas... so good..." he muttered, and he wrapped his legs around Cas' waist. Then he moaned, as Cas started moving. Waves of extacy rolled over Dean and he just rolled with them, writhing, moaning, keening, growling. Cas had somehow memorised his sweetspot, and he hit it relentlesly. The waves built and built, until Dean threw back his head and let the tsunami take him. "Cas!" he gasped. Vaguely, he could feel Cas stiffen as his own orgasm hit him.


	55. Chapter 55

Dean opened his eyes. His blanket was heavy... and warm, and soft, and... breathing. Looking down, he saw Cas' dark hair, mussed in the best sexhair ever. Dean grinned. "Cas?" Cas mumbled and smacked his lips. He snuggled down, and Dean felt a bit trapped by now. "Cas.. Hey, hey... Cas. Come on, man..." No response. Dean tried wriggling out, but Cas pinned him down good. "Awe shit.. Cas. Angel, please. I gotta take a leak, hon." Cas' face pinched together, like when you don't want to wake up, but he shifted a bit, giving Dean just enough room to get out. He hobbled to the bathroom and took a warm shower. Amazing as sex was, it never failed to make you feel sticky. Dean watched himself in the mirror. After all he had lost his man cherry... maybe he'd look different. He pouted. Nope, just plain old Dean. He smirked at his kiss-swollen lips and the bruises on his hips. That was an AWESOME way to lose that cherry... He got back to bed and crawled into the warm space next to his angel. Swiftly he pulled blankets over them. Cas might not get cold, but if Sam, or worse, Bobby were to burst in, at least they'd have covered their decency.

The next morning, Dean let Cas lie. Apparently it wasn't the booze that let his angel fall asleep. Stretching, Dean got up and ambled downstairs to the coffee. Letting out a satisfied sigh, Dean sipped from his chipped mug. "Mornin' son." Dean stiffened. Bobby was up early. "Morning, Bobby. You're up early." Bobby scoffed. "Knockin' boots with a celestial bein' didn't make you the sharpest, did it?" Dean choked on his coffee. "Ex..excuse me?" Bobby threw him a bitchface Sam would admire. "Don't play coy with me, boy. You're sweet on that angel, and it's been makin' goo-goo eyes at you too. I know you play both teams. Heck, even before Talahassee, I knew. I'm just glad you found that special one." Wiping his chin, Dean stared at his surrogate Father. "And..you.. you're ok with it?" Bobby smiled, then cuffed him on the back of his head. "Of course I am. You're happy. I'm fine with it. Just... keep it down a bit... The night before last, my mirror cracked." Dean chuckled. "Yeah. An angel's true voice will do that. Sorry." Bobby scoffed again. "At least you were too tired to crack it more last night." Dean bit his lip, but remained silent. "And don't you two go pretendin' Cas ain't sleepin' in your bed right now. Or that you weren't in his. I couldn't care less. Hell, it'd save me laundry if you two snuggle up." Dean burst out laughing. "Bobby..." The old man widened his eyes. "What?" he asked innocently. "You're awesome!"

Cas came down, dressed and groomed. Dean smirked and quickly pulled him in. He kissed him, ruffled his hair and let him go. "Coffee, Cas?" Cas blinked a few times, surprised. "Yes. Yes please." Dean poured him a mug and turned towards him. Yep, the sexhair was his best look. Sam stumbled in the kitchen too, bleary eyed and clad in boxers and a t-shirt. "Morning. Coffee?" Dean grinned. "Here ya go, Sammy. Just the way you like it." Sam sipped it, then he caught sight of Cas. "Cas... did you... sleep again?" Cas blushed a bit. "Yes. I think the emotional pull of having Gabriel around has drained me sufficiently to actually sleep again." Dean smirked into his mug. "Really little bro? I'm a delight to be around!" Sam spun around. "Gabriel! You're still here!" His golden eyes twinkling, the Archangel spread his arms in a 'tadaah' gesture. "Yep!" he grinned, popping the P. "All the fun action is happening with you muttonheads. I'm sticking around!" He produced a sucker from somewhere and popped it in his mouth. "You got anything sweet to drink, Bobby? 'M not a real coffee man." Bobby glared at him. Gabriel barked out a gleeful "Hah!", snapped his fingers and slurped on the appeared strawberry milkshake. Dean just rolled his eyes, while Cas took it all in with wide eyes. "Cheer up Sam-a-lam!" Gabriel quipped and slapped Sam on the butt. "We'll stop Luci from crawling up your sweet ass." Sam turned beetroot and Dean sank on a chair, hiccupping with laughter.


	56. Chapter 56

Cas had opened his eyes and the drag he had felt yesterday morning was back. Contrary to yesterday, though, Dean was gone. The bed was empty, and the cold spot where he had been, was telling Cas that Dean had been away a while. Cas frowned, then yawned and stretched. Had he slept again? He didn't have a drop to drink the day before, so it must be something else than the alcohol... Pondering this, he got dressed. At least this time, he didn't have to repair his shirt. He took a trip to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. Jimmy's hair was impossible, but he tried to have it behave. It looked way too much like he had sex just recently. Well, it was true, but Cas did not want to broadcast it. Somewhat satisfied, he sighed and went downstairs. His eyes found Dean even before he was fully down. Dean smirked at him and his heart skipped a beat. He was so beautiful. When Dean pulled him in and kissed him, Cas felt it go into overdrive. To his annoyance, Dean messed up his hair before letting go and offering him coffee. Thouroughly confused now, Cas accepted. Coffee was a pure taste, no molecules, and he liked it.

Sam came in too, and what Cas had been dreading, happened. Sam asked if he had been sleeping again. Cas felt bad for trying to put the blame of his new habit on Gabriel, but he couldn't confess to the real reason he suspected. Not in front of... wait... had Bobby been there when Dean... He turned to his lover, who was smirking into his coffee. Gabriel was dominating the scene, as ususal, his attention thankfully on Sam for some reason. Dean was laughing fit to burst at the red face of his brother. Cas softly walked up to him. "Dean..." Dean wiped his eyes. "Yes angel?" Cas' cheeks grew hot. "Did... did you kiss me in front of mr. Singer?" he whispered, mortified. Dean chuckled. "Yeah, turns out the old codger knew all along... so... no more hiding." Cas felt his heart flutter, lighter than air. Happily he kissed Dean on his soft lips. "No more hiding." When Sam groaned, Dean smiled against Cas' mouth. "Jealous, Sammy?" Sam rolled his eyes. "Keep it PG, you two." he just said, with a fond smile. Gabriel's eyes were flicking between Cas and Dean.

"Am I missing something?" he asked, his golden eyes narrowing. Bobby chuckled. "Just a bout of puppylove." Dean protested. "Hey! It's not puppylove!" Gabriel raised his eyebrows. "Cassie? You got something to share, brother?" Cas swallowed hard. "Gabriel, I... I am aware that it is unusual, but... but I... I'm in love... with Dean." Gabriel chuckled, then laughed. "Well, duh, Captain Obvious. That was not predicted, but I did tell you you were special, didn't I? That you were the one meant to get Dean-o out of the frying pan..." Dean frowned. "Wait, what?" Gabriel nodded vigourously. "Yeah. That was settled years ago. I think Samshine here was just over a year old." He smiled at Sam. "Bet you were adorable!" Sam blushed and scoffed. "Shut up." Dean thoughtfully rolled his eyes. "Wait... I was only five? How does that work even?" He looked at Cas, who felt lost. "I don't know Dean..." Dean raised his eyebrows. "You didn't even know you were assigned to yank me back topside?" Miserably, Cas shook his head. Dean rounded on Gabriel. "Does this have to do with the freckles over my heart?" Gabriel looked taken aback. "What? What do you mean?" Cas bit his lip. "I noticed it first, two nights back. Dean has a specific grouping of freckles on his torso. It... it's my name, spelled in Enochian." Gabriel squeed. "Oh my Dad! Really? That's amazing! Cassie, please tell me you know what you were doing that year!" Cas shook his head. "Dean-o? Anything you can add?" Dean sighed. "We left Lawrence that fall. Dad had found Missouri, and she had filled him in that something supernaturally evil had caused mom's death. He spent most days of the summer gone. Thank god he had a neighbour babysit me and Sammy. He hadn't met Bobby yet." Cas gasped. A memory floated to the surface of his brain. "She was a sweet lady. Funny thing, she never used our names. Always 'boys', 'sugar', 'honey' or some other pet name. And she was awesome! She was always there when you got in trouble, Sammy. Almost before you did actually get in... Now what her name? Sue.. Sue Ellen? No..." Cas stared at him. "Sue-Anne." he said.


	57. Chapter 57

**23 years before:**

 **"Castiël, you need to protect these two children. They are of great importance to Heaven. They need a babysitter for a few weeks. You can ask their neighbour for permission. She isn't an ideal vessel, but for such a short period, it should not matter." Castiël bowed his head. "Yes, Michael. I will go imediately." He flew down to Earth and asked the kindly, southern lady if he would be allowed to help the special children, while in her body. The lady was fond of any and all children, so she gladly agreed. He slipped in, and kept in contact with his host, to not arouse suspicion by being different than before. A knock came to the door. "It's open!" Castiël called out, his voice only slightly deeper than the host's usual. A large man entered the house, his face unshaven and lined with sorrow. "Sue-Anne, I need to leave for the day. Would you take care of my boys?" Castiël smiled. "Of course! Y'all know I'm a sucker for your boys. Be there in five." The man thanked Castiël and left.**

 **The little boys were sweet and pretty well behaved too. The eldest hardly spoke, unless he was prattling to his baby brother. "Sammy, look, that cloud looks like an angel. Mommy always said angels were watching over us..." or "I'm sure daddy will be ok, Sammy. He's just trying not to miss mommy so much." These little comments made Castiël wonder what happened to their mother. Castiël had been watching the brothers on and off for a few weeks now, and felt almost happy doing so. It was a beautiful day in August, and they spent it in the garden. The baby had discovered that having legs, meant he could walk, so it toddled at an astonishing speed. Castiël was always scooping the kid up before reaching the gate, or climbing the tree. Every so often Castiël needed to use angelic speed to catch the tyke. "Now sugar, don'tcha go tryin' to catch the butterflies. They'se purdier when they fly free." Castiël chided the boy. He giggled and his hazel eyes searched Castiël's face. The older boy was tugging on Castiël's skirt. He pointed towards the house. Workmen had fixed it, but the aura of tragedy still hovered around it. The boy tugged again, then mimicked drinking. "Yes, darlin'. I'll make us some iced tea." Castiël relenquished his hold over the vessel enough to let Sue-Anne make the sweet beverage. While bringing the pitcher outside, Castiël saw the boys sitting in the shade of the big tree.**

 **"Boys, y'all want something ta drink? Then come get it!" Castiël filled the baby's sippycup, and a plastic cup for the elder boy. They spent a cozy twenty minutes in companionable silence. "Y'all done with yer drinks, sugars? Sue-Anne'll do the dishes, if you two go take a nap on the sofa in the study." Castiël had noticed how especially the oldest boy was aversed to going upstairs. The boys made their way into the house and Castiël smiled when the eldest took his baby brother by the pudgy hand protectively. Once the dishes were done, again by Sue-Anne, Castiël went and checked on the children. The eldest was lying on his side, arms around the baby. His eyes were open and he stared at his sleeping baby brother. "Don't worry, Sammy. I'll protect you. I'm here." he whispered softly. Castiël only caught it because of the angelic hearing. Walking over, Castiël felt the boy's eyes flick over. "Ssshhh. I gotcha, little one. Don't worry. Y'all are safe with me." The little boy frowned at Castiël, as if he didn't believe a word of it.**

 **Later that afternoon, Castiël was sitting in the shade of the house, whilst the boys were playing in the yard. "See, Sammy, when I'm big, like daddy, I'm gonna be a firefighter. That way I can safe people, like I saved you when the fire took mommy." Something constricted Castiël's chest and before Castiël was aware, the little boy was cradled in Castiël's arms. "Oh my Father..." The boy looked at the angel's eyes, searching with his green ones. "You are so special, little one. Your soul is so bright, I would find it in the deepest bowels of Hell." Castiël tapped the bare chest of the boy, just over his heart. With a sensation like an electric spark, Castiël's Grace shot out and a sensation spread through it, like Soul and Grace met and... hugged? Molded together? Castiël couldn't place it, but decided to ask later. The boy narrowed his eyes. "Not Sue..." he whispered, suspicion colouring his voice. Two days later Castiël was called home. "Good job, brother. That oldest boy is your charge later on. We'll tell you when." Michael had said, before Castiël had to debrief with Naomi.**


	58. Chapter 58

Dean blinked at Cas. "Yeah... how'd you know? Funny thing... one day I was telling Sammy how I wanted to be a firefighter when I grew up, and she picked me up... I can't remember what she said, or did, but I felt... a warm sensation inside and I was happier than I had been since mom... But she also felt different... older... wiser, filled with infinite love... Anyway, Dad yanked us out of Lawrence a few weeks later. I only saw her once after that day, and she was smiling at me from her porch, yet it wasn't like the lady that picked me up." He rubbed his forehead. "Does that make sense?" Gabriel laughed. "I bet I can solve it. Cassie... did you get guardian duty?" Cas blushed and nodded. "I did..." Gabe full on smirked. "Lawrence, Kansas?" Cas ducked his head more and his answer was a whisper. "Yes..." Sam frowned. "What? Gabe, what are you on about?" Gabriel held up his hand. "In a mo, Sammykins. I bet that Mike had that little adventure 'swiped' after you got back, but Naomi didn't erase it, only pushed it back. Did you remember just now, babybro?" Dean had never expected the Trickster to sound so empathic. Cas nodded mutely and hugged himself. Dean felt worry spike through him.

"Cas? What's going on?" Sam asked brusquely. Gabriel grabbed his shoulders and pushed him in his chair. "Calm yourself, Sam-a-lam. Cassie most likely didn't remember until Dean-o brought up that sitter." Dean squatted next to his angel. "Cas? What's wrong, babe?" Gabriel answered in his stead. "Cassie is feeling conflicted. Somehow he was instructed, 23 years back, to watch you two, using Sue-Anne as a vessel. When your Dad decided to leave town, he got called back, where Mike ordered this to be erased from his memory. Mike has a penchant of wanting 'menial' jobs like that under wraps. You can't let the 'grunts' know how we play favorites sometimes, otherwise they might want to become real guardian angels. Serve the 'mudmonkeys', Heaven forbid..." Gabriel rolled his eyes. "Dick... Anywho, you and Cassie somehow connected on that day, Dean-o, your Soul with his Grace. A profound bond." Dean put his hands on Cas' knees. "Angel, are you afraid I would hold that against you?" Cas nodded miserably. " Don't... We all know what dicks your brothers are. I love you, and I don't feel tricked or manipulated into it. Cas... if your Dad does still pull the strings, I think he doesn't care. Otherwise he would have stepped in by now." Dean's voice was soft and suddenly his arms were full of angel. "I love you too, Dean."

After a few moments of silence, Cas turned in Dean's arms. "Gabriel, knowing the feeling now, I think I already loved Dean then... when he told Sam about wanting to safe people, I felt pure love, I felt proud of him... like I so often have, lately." His eyes shone as he gazed into Dean's green ones. "How can that be, brother? We were not designed to feel emotions." Gabriel scoffed. "That's Michael talking. He 'reconditioned' all angels to be emotionless." He smirked. "You just have a very strong will, bro. You have broken the hold of the reconditioning more than once, before now." The smile Gabriel sent him, was loving and proud. "I wish I could undo it all for you, Cassie. You'd remember us growing up together. That was so much fun! Between you and me, we ran poor Luci ragged!" Sam gasped. "Luci?! As in Lucifer?" Gabriel raised an eyebrow at him. "Yeah. Lucifer used to live with us, long time ago. Heck, he used to be the one to play with us. I was roughly a teenager, and Castiël was just a fledgeling, a toddler to you. I kept pranking him, and throwing tantrums. Cassie was running around, trying to fly before his flightfeathers had grown in, wanting to play with the bees." Gabriel smiled softly. "Good times." Sam patted the Archangel on his shoulder sympatheticly. "Sorry that that's over, Gabe. I can see you miss those times." Gabriel put his hand on Sam's, still on his shoulder. "Thanks Sammoose." he replied, his voice soft.


	59. Chapter 59

"This is crap..." Dean muttered under his breath. "I know, Dean. Just ssshh." Cas shushed him, ignoring the muttered "Damn angelic hearing." because he could see exactly why Dean would think this plan crap. The demons had easily broken 65 seals and now they were waiting at the convent Chuck had said they would be meeting Lilith face to face. Sam was waiting in the main chapel, the demontrap painted on the ceiling. That had been sort of fun, flying up there with his big brother, painting it. Sam had to use his puppyeyes to dissuade Gabriel to use hotpink, but in the end they had finished it in time. "Winchester, can it. This is litterally our last chance. Let the mooks think they got the game, then turn the tables. My speciality." Gabriel snapped his fingers and the specially prepared cursebox appeared with Sam's reach. "Besides, studmuffin, I wouldn't let Samshine get hurt." He winked at the youngest Winchester and Cas was starting to suspect that Gabriel wasn't devoid of feelings either.

Dean cringed as the blonde lady shashayed up the aisle. She was wearing white, like some cruel parody on a bride and her blood red lips parted in a predatory smile. "Well, well, well... someone was eager to be here." she cooed, sliding a slender hand over Sam's pectorals. On the edge of hearing, Dean could hear Gabriel growl low, and Cas, bless him, hushed him quickly. Lilith was babbling about how Sam would be too weak etc. For once, Dean was glad of the tendency of demons to chat about themselves and their supposed invincibility. "I'm not here to kill you, Lilith." Sam said, stepping back a bit. Lilith furrowed her brow. "What?!" Sam stepped back some more, right out of the circle that made up the demon trap. "We're here to make sure you don't die." he smirked. Lilith lunged at him, but got rebuffed before she reached him. Dean was so proud of his little brother. Sam hadn't even thought about trying to get to Lilith, despite everything she had done to them. He stepped out of the shadows. "Hi there, bitch. Guess who isn't detained by his little brother." She growled at him, but he didn't care. "Excorciamus te..." he started. Lilith just laughed manically. "It won't work, Winchester." From the corner of his eyes, Dean saw Cas appear, and his heart turned a summersault. Cas looked every inch the warrior he always claimed to be, and it pushed all Dean's buttons. "We thought that might be the case. A little angelic help might do the trick." They repeated the incantation together, and Dean's mouth quirked in a proud smile. His angel was so badass.

Still, Lilith didn't even flinch. "Really, boys?" she chuckled. "That old thing? I'm too old to reach to Latin spells." Cas licked his lips, distracting Dean in the process. He looked concerned, but Dean knew he was acting. ' _He should get an Oscar!_ ' Cas flashed him a wink. "Dean, I'm afraid she is right... the excorcism doesn't seem to affect her at all!" Lilith crowed her delight. "Told you guys!" From he corner of his eyes, Dean saw Sam bend over and quickly slide the curse box in place. Once it was set, he straightened and coughed. Lilith swirled around to face him again. "It still won't work. Not even if you join in, Sam." Sam smirked, and Dean knew that one all too well. Sam used it when he one-upped you. With an impressive swirl of wind blowing away the dust in the ancient chapel, Gabriel popped up. "Hello." Lilith blanched, then regained het posture. "Not even with two angels chanting. I'm older than that stupid little rhyme." Gabriel popped a sucker out of his mouth. "Maybe, but you are not older than me. Gabriel at your service, ma'am." Lilith stumbled backwards. "Archangel..." she hissed. Gabriel gave her the two fingered salute. "Indeed, little one. Now, how about upping the ante a bit?" He rolled his head and his shoulders. Lilith bit her lip. "I know... this should do the trick." Dean shook his head. Gabriel was such a showoff. But he did unsettle Lilith nicely. Sam surreptiously pushed the opened box a bit closer to her. Gabriel straightened, and for being only 5'8", he sure looked imposing. "OL ALONUSAHI OD ZODAMETA!" he called in a loud voice that shook the rafters.


	60. Chapter 60

Lilith threw her head back and black smoke rolled out of her opened mouth. It writhed and twisted. Sam pushed the box a bit further still. One of the writhing tendrils of smoke brushed over it and promptly got sucked in. A piercing shriek echoed through the chapel, as the demon smoke was quickly pulled into the curse box. Sam snapped the lid shut, Gabriel, grinning like a bobcat, snapped a golden padlock shut and pocketed the key. "Nice work, Samshine." Dean cocked an eyebrow at his angel and smirked. Cas smiled back, all teeth and gums. Dean shook his head and cleared his throat. Gabriel blinked. "And you two as well, of course." he amended, ducking his head a bit. "Gabe, what was that incantation?" Sam asked, and his big brother thought he noticed a tone Sam usually reserved for him. One of grudging admiration. "Enochian, Sammich. Older than that bitch for sure. I simply said: 'I command and conjure thee.' That is enough to pull any creature out of hiding." Dean smiled at Cas, and he saw his angel knew what he was remembering. Dean pulled Cas close and kissed his cheek. "We did it, guys. We stopped the Apocalypse." Gabriel smiled and pulled Sam down to his level and kissed him right on the lips. Sam blushed bright red and Dean laughed. "Angels, Sam. A very peculiar notion of personal space..." Gabriel shot him a glance, but Sam looked more than pleased. He grabbed Gabriel and kissed him in earnest. Dean chuckled, bent over to pick up the box and turned towards his blushing angel. "Cas, let's get to Bobby's with this." Jabbing a thumb over his shoulder at Sam and Gabriel, who were acting like teens at prom. "They can come home by themselves." Cas nodded and pulled Dean into a hug, before flying off to the salvage yard.

It was in the middle of the night, when Cas felt a pull on his Grace. He wandered outside Bobby's house only to meet a touslehaired Gabriel. "You too, bro? Crap." Cas frowned. "Gabriel? What's going on?" When Gabriel rubbed his neck, Cas spotted a bruise there. Knowing about hickies now, he smirked in the dark. It seemed Sam and Gabriel had come to an understanding. "I'm afraid we're going to get a major telling-off, baby bro." Gabriel whispered. Cas frowned. "From whom?" The sound of wings announced the arrival of an angel. Cas swallowed. Small wonder that they had been summoned in the middle of the night. This angel didn't have a vessel. "Michael." Gabriel said, and Cas bowed his head. "Gabriel. Why did you interfere?" Michael's tone was accusing and Cas frowned. It seemed Gabriel and Dean had been right in assuming that Michael wanted the Apocalypse to happen. Gabriel tilted his head and pouted in a very typical way. Cas smirked at it. Gabriel wasn't about to be belittled by Michael. "Because spending several eons between humans, has made me see what Dad meant, Mike. They are flawed, but a lot of them try. They love, they care. I wasn't about to let you and Luci destroy them because neither of you is capable of admitting they're wrong." Michael bristled. "You dare..." he started, but a roll of thunder interupted him. "Michael!" a voice sounded and Cas saw both his big brothers wince. "Don't you dare be mad at your brothers!"

Cas looked around, trying to find the source of the voice. "But Father..." Michael started. "Father?!" Gabriel smirked at him. "Indeed, Cassie. Better be quiet." he quipped. "I'll get to you in a bit, Gabriel, Castiël... for now be still. Michael, I'm disappointed in you. I thought you could handle Heaven and Earth, but it seems I was wrong. I revoke your leadership. Gabe, you, and Raphael will have to share this responsibility with him." Gabriel balked. "But Dad... I just..." A chuckle sounded and the voice softened. "I know, son. And I am happy for you and Cas for finding them. That's why you and Cas get the task of taking care of Earth. Michael and Raphael can run Heaven, but..." and the voice grew stern once more. "... I will be keeping an eye on the lot of you. Oh, Castiël, for this, you'll need an upgrade." Cas felt a hand on his head and power flowed from it, into every molecule of his being. "There. The fifth Archangel. The one to even the balance in Heaven. For his meddling and trying to break out, Lucifer will have to stay put for a while longer." Michael pouted and scuffed his foot. "But Father..." he tried again. "No, Michael! I will not have your grousing. This is my decission, and it will stand! Castiël and Gabriel will be allowed their relation with Dean and Sam. And once the Winchesters die, they will be allowed to wander Heaven freely and live with Cas and Gabe." Michael sighed. "Yes Father." Cas was amazed. His big brother, commander and allround boss, was like a scolded teen. "Castiël, I am proud of you. You saw through the rough exteriour and into the soul of humans. You defied your orders, when they were wrong. You chose, you practised Free Will. I hope you can inspire your siblings to do the same." Cas felt a loving kiss to his forehead. "And you, Gabe. You had skipped out from your responsibility, but you redeemed yourself. I'm proud of you too. You saw humanity's worth, even if at the last moment. I will listen to your prayers, but only your and Castiël's. The others still need to learn. Come Mike. I'm going to have to tell all opgaven about these changes, before I retreat again. Goodbye my angels!" The presence, that had come with the voice, vanished, as did Michael.


	61. Chapter 61

Dean stretched. "Goodmorning, angel." he smiled at the dark hair next to him. Cas turned around, eyes drowsy and cheeks flushed with sleep. "Goodmorning, Dean." His voice was hoarse with sleep too, and Dean smirked. Anytime they made love, Cas would sleep. Dean found it endearing. "Want coffee, angel?" Cas hummed and nuzzled his hair. "Mmmm. Yes please, Dean. I can't go to the Archangel meeting sleepy. Gabe would never let me live it down." Dean chuckled. "If I understood Sam yesterday, Gabe might be sleepy himself." Cas chuckled. "Yes, it was their aniversary..." Dean nodded and twisted the white golden ring on his right hand. "Yes... I wonder if Gabe was surprised..." Cas looked at him with love in his cerulean eyes. "I bet he was. Sam planned his proposal meticulously and with great secrecy." Dean cuddled with his angel. "Unlike me. You knew what I was planning almost as soon as I had thought about it." Cas kissed his temple sweetly and he could feel the smile. "Dean, your soul glowed even more than when I overheard you and Sam in Lawrence... I knew something special was going on." Dean smiled himself, but for the sake of pretence, he groused. "Stupid soul. I'm gonna find a way to dim that one day." Cas chuckled. "Love, you haven't found that in five years time, and you won't find that in fivehundred. And that's precisely why I love you so much." He kissed his angel on the mouth and climbed out of bed. "One coffee coming up."

Sam phoned two seconds after Cas had left. "Having a soul sucks!" Dean burst out laughing. "I know. He saw the glow?" Sam grumbled. "Yes, apparently as soon..." Dean bit his lip and finished for him. "... as you made up your mind about it." Sam sighed. "Ah, so that's how Cas knew." He sounded so dejected, that Dean felt sorry. "But he said Yes?" he prompted, trying to cheer Sam up. "Yeah. Yeah, he did. And he did in the sweetest way." Dean could hear his brother start gushing, and smiled happily. Five years after the almost-Apocalypse, and all was getting on the rails again. God never showed his face, but according to Cas and Gabe, he had sternly told the angels that stuff had to change. A few begrudged Cas his new Archangel status, but the Big Man himself had done the promoting, so it was a done deal. Fun part of his new powers was that he could create, like Gabriel. It made life with him very challenging yet very easy. They never needed anything, but if Cas felt like having burgers, and Dean had made spaghetti, he would find his hard work changed into fastfood with a snap of those lean fingers. On the other hand, cleaning up had become a breeze. Any cleaning up. Sam was still waxing poetic about his night with Gabe, so Dean thought it time to cut to the core. "So, did you pick a date yet?" Sam spluttered. "Actually, yeah. Gabe cleared spot on september 22nd. He wants an autumn wedding." Dean smiled, Gabe knew Sammy so well. Sam looked great in autumn colours. "Let's hope the Big Man keeps the day free of hunts." Sam chuckled. "He did for you and Cas..." Dean smiled at the memory. The magistrate had been just a bit flustered when an actual angelic choir had begun to sing when Cas came down the aisle, and some golden light, without any visible source, had bathed the happy couple until they parted from their kiss. She had stuttered when a letter had appeared out of nowhere on her lectern saying: 'Congrats on being the first to marry a human, to getting an upgrade to replace me and on saving the world. Luci.' Gabe had burst into laughter at the hotpink, glittery feather that accompanied it. "He never did give a damn about convention..." Gabe had hiccupped. The feather was now framed alongside a dried flower from Cas and Dean's corsages. "He is still my big brother, Dean. In his own way, he gave us his blessing." Dean could only agree with that logic. He smiled at the frame and ran a finger over it. "Really, Sammy, who would have thought, all those years ago, that going to Hell would get me a husband?" Sam laughed. "Not me for sure!"

 **Well, that was it for this fic. I hope all you unicorns enjoyed it. I know I had fun writing it. My Muse sometimes was a little fickle, but she pulled me through to this ending. Thanks for all your reviews, follows and favorites. They helped me make this to the very end. Lots of love from Holland.**


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